happy (hectic) holidays

Well the holidays this time have not exactly been the most relaxing of moments for me as there have been a lot of things going on over the past month or so - allow me to randomly recall and recap...

AnnTIC this time round was a bit of a change from previous ones i've been to - with stuff like exco time and all that, plus the fact that i came a day late and was rather disoriented at first. Thankfully the message of the theme talks especially was something that i hold rather close to my heart, and so those at least really rang a bell with me. I guess i'm the sort who may not be complacent in terms of knowledge, but rather complacent in terms of action, if you catch my drift; so the message was definitely a timely and relevant one. Glad to have gotten to know quite a few new people too. And if time, inspiration, and creative energy permits, i'll get cracking on that song sooner or later. One regret though is that i never managed to get down to playing any games at all, after having looked so forward to that initially...

Have also had to get started on prep for ht, and to that end i felt like i had accomplished so much when i went down to school on at least three separate occasions for consultation and book-borrowing. That however has proven to be the more-than-easy part. The actual reading of all of these resources is another matter altogether, and i've barely begun with anything where that is concerned. Can't seem to get out of the lazy, holiday mood and get down to actual work (schoolwork of this nature during holiday time is a rather alien concept to me). Hmm, but come to think of it, there's a big load of stuff to read. So think i shall have to find my way back to school and do my research there - at least the environment there is somewhat more conducive (i hope).

Christmas this year was the first in three years i've spent here - there was MEET camp two years ago and then was at my cousin's place in MD last year. Nothing special though - went for the Christmas Eve midnight service, first time in donkey years that i've been for the service at SAC. And i never realized that having the right family connections could secure one a reserved seat in the front row (all the better to fall asleep in front of the preacher in). So i was seated right in front of the lectern, and in the middle of methinks Joy to the World i looked down and lo and behold i spotted a little gray mouse peeking its head out from its base (and let me clarify, it was a little cute gray mouse, kinda like the kind people keep as pets, not a vile gigantic brown rat). Yup so that was the highlight of my Christmas i guess. Fun, eh?

I was admittedly rather anxious about this past sem's results, particularly because i've been straddling the fine line between classes of hons. And well, after this sem, basically nothing has changed, which i'm thankful for, that at least things have more or less maintained rather than regressed. What intrigued me a bit was the specific grades for some of the classes - i trust our dear friend Mr Bell Curve had a rather heady role to play in that one...

Yesterday was floorball time - something that i've missed over the past one and a half years or so - was good - finally got some exercise this month (and coming right after all the Christmas pigging-out, the timing could not have been any better). And as proof of the exercise i now have the expected body aches and orh cehs (sp?) on both knees, the latter thanks to my unintended expertise at sliding all over the floor while lunging for the ball. Ah well, it was fun, so all these are worth it.

Parents are away now at some clergy retreat thingy (it's supposed to be a family retreat, but almost all the children who go are like primary school age and under, and the last thing i want to do is to babysit annoying children), so i've had to do my part in bringing Bingo down to answer nature's call - i must say, it's hardly the most fun thing in the world to scoop up his waste matter from under him and pop it into the bin. Ah heck, it's only for two days... On a related note, it's sad to see how he's aged exponentially ever since we moved over here (he's 14 btw) - now he hobbles about as if he had just gotten neutered, and can't pee the usual male dog way of lifting one leg anymore (cos think he'd lose his balance), and constantly slips on our marble floor, and has to prop himself on his snout before lying down or else risk bashing his head on the floor. Poor thing.

revolving around raffles

Sat evening i went down to church for a lecture (and i wish they'd give it a different name apart from lecture - the negative connotations that it brings to this nus student are both manifold and unappealing) by the Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan 'no-i-am-not-mr-bean' Williams who so happened to be in our neck of the woods over the weekend. The topic was Christianity: Public Religion & the Common Good. I wasn't expecting much out of the lecture especially since it was obviously intentionally not overtly Christian in nature ("with special reference to Christianity" was how the lecture was billed) and also since my previous experience with the public speaking of archbishops-cum-theologian/academic people has not been an entirely positive one.

But anyways, since it was the Archbishop of Canterbury after all, i did a bit of advertising for the lecture so a handful of thursday people past and present came down - specifically two dinos (Kevin n Eunice) and two year ones (or as they are so upliftingly titled in the states, rising freshmen - Grace Koh and Pheobe).

And the lecture actually went far better than how i'd thought it would - he addressed many pertinent issues that immediately struck a chord with me since he basically focused upon the role of the Christian in society. At the same time however he was careful not to strike any raw nerves with regards to so-called sensitive topics such as the evolution-ID debate and homosexuality when they came up during Q&A time, and also with regards to other religions. Can't fault him on that though...

Less than twelve hours later i found myself back in the same place for service, after which went with the family over to the British Club, where my aunt had organized a Mother's Day family lunch thingy (which my mother could not attend cos of speaking engagements). Incidentally, i just so happened to bump into Jeremy from UNC who had just arrived back less than a week ago - that was really so coincidental - apparently my extended family knows his - which just about further extends the intriguingly large circle of people whom i know and who also know people in my extended family in some way or other...

Anyways it was an appetizer and dessert buffet coupled with a choice of main course. I chose the Sunday Roast Beef with au jus and Yorkshire Pudding - and by the end i felt like one of the five thousand that Jesus fed cos the three slices of beef on my plate had been supplemented from two more plus lots of veggies from my lola who could not eat any more. This coupled with the more-than-ample appetizer and dessert spreads left me really bloated by the end of it...

Some people obviously were a tad overeager at the chocolate fountain...

So what better thing to happen than Steven, my monthly buffet buddy calling me to go for dinner that night. After some delays owing to restaurant closures and Mother's Day mark-ups (and finding myself back at Raffles City for the third separate time in 24 hours) we ended up at Pariss (and what a stupid name btw) at Marina Square. I'm not usually one for eating there cos of the preponderance of seafood that is precisely what makes the buffet as expensive as it is. But well, the price was relatively reasonable and there was enough non-crustacean seafood around for me to eat (though i'm beginning to have issues with eating some kinds of fish because of overfishing of certain stocks - but i couldn't go up to the sashimi and ask it whether it came from sustainable fisheries could i?), along with lots of other food too of course, so i went ahead and proceeded to stuff myself for the second time in the same day. I'm sure all that would have been more than enough to disqualify me from the under-60 club...

Anyways, two successive heavy meals in a single day was enough to strengthen my resolve for a run today - my first in more than a month if i'm not wrong, and hence i really felt like i was troddling along at a snail's pace. Managed to make my usual route though - from Amber Road up round the cable ski lagoon and back - in 48 minutes - which is super slow i know but well it's been a month... Now i'm just wondering where i can run after i move...

veto power

Just caught my brother who was surreptitiously dashing up the stairs in order to play his computer game on the family desktop which so happens to be in my room. While when he first started to do this i was more or less begrudging him the right to do this, for the simple fact that this intrudes on my privacy much more than i'd like; i've tried to be more accommodating to his requests as of late, since it is the family computer after all, and i guess he's the right to use it once in a while. So to that extent i've come home after school to find the lights on in my room and him inside using the com and largely ignored it - even though i'm the kind of person who treasures his privacy enough to be alarmed every time i see this happening - so i'll just hang around downstairs until he finishes (and bug him a bit in between).

Ah but i dunno, just now when i saw him trying to play again (for the second time in the day) i shouted a loud "NOOOOO!!!!!!!" and to his audible dismay forbade him from playing again tonight (and the folks were there to help to chase him away as well). Ah well, all i can say is that this incident only goes to show that i need my own room, and the days when i did share a room with him (which are all of just over three short years ago) must have been simpler times...

(And just for the record, my brother is five-and-a-half years older than me...)

Today's work progressed little more than locating stray notes and organizing them into more distinct groups. Hardly as much as i wanted to get done, but then again, Sundays are always i-don't-feel-like-doing-any-work days so... Hope the study week ahead will go well though - realized that especially when compared with some others i've been blessed with quite a bit of time for exam prep so think i ought to make the best use of it as i can...

Well, today's church service was more of the same old same old save for the fact that i only found out today that Pheobe goes to the same service as i do - i had no clue before this... Once again though, i nearly was late cos i woke up late and i'm still not used to not staying right next to church and hence not used to the fact that i've now to travel to church. Think that put me a little off today cos i was not able to have my qt till later, and i tend to not be very spiritually alert before qt. So guess must try and revamp my Sun schedule so that i can find ample time to do qt beforehand...

Glancing through this months National Geographic special report on overfishing - "Saving the Sea's Bounty", along with bearing in mind some of what i''ve picked up from my Global Environmental Issues class has made me even less enthusiastic about seafood - any sea creature that is not a fish is already a no-no for me, but i may add at least certain kinds of fish to that list depending on whether they are fished sustainably. Oh, and whether they stink too =p

It finally didn't rain today, but no point cos i didn't end up doing anything outdoorsy. Not enough motivation to do so. Did however have a good catching-up/sharing session instead, which was very timely for me cos i've had rather a drought of that as of late, and think am the kind of person who requires to bleah things out regularly to the relevant people. Yup so that was much needed =)

I'll miss the east...

this and that

In the mood for randomness so do bear with me...

Firstly, here's a couple of pics:


This was taken at last week's rooftop cg. We had a time of reflection on the sem past and then sharing with one another on those reflections. This is coming in very delayed, but well it took that reflection time for me to realize what a great blessing the cg has been for me not only this past sem, but ever since year one. Especially since i came back though. I guess that the fact that my sorta unique church situation has translated into a lack of any real permanence and rootedness for me with regards to church min at least up till this point has meant that the community that i've in cf and especially so in thursday cg becomes all the more important for me. Yup and if i've ever needed such a community before, i sure needed (and still need) it when i came back cos i was (and still am) rather disorientated and disjointed from S'pore and all the stuff that came along with it, and the cg has given back in ways that i never had fully appreciated (and perhaps still don't)... God's faithfulness to me through the cg has just been so wonderful - it's so humbling and tear-inducing come to think of it...


Um, ok so this is on a totally different subject - was just walking along engin bridge (btw engin bridge seems to be some kind of biodiverse hotspot by nus standards since on top of these cats i also found the giant spider - which is still there btw - over there) the other day when i came across this cat and its three kittens - and it was so cool cos although these are probably just common stray/feral cats it at that moment felt as though i was on some Serengeti expedition and before me was some rare species of small wild feline. So of course out came my camera and voila... Reminded me a bit of my UNC days when the mere sight of a squirrel would coax my camera out before i could say, erm well, "squirrel!". That of course was until i realized that there were squirrels everywhere over in the US, compared to S'pore when i spot one like once a year or so high up some tree... Not enough nuts in S'pore maybe...

As each day goes by, i've become more and more keen on staying on campus next year. It's a combination methinks of being spoilt last sem at UNC when both classes and downtown were a two-minute walk away from my room; honours year coming up which promises to be really busy, and tv mobile getting increasingly on my nerves by the second. Things should work out eventually i hope - nearly screwed up my application cos i keyed in an invalid email address - maybe it's a freudian slip that i attached my nus userid to the usual UNC email. Thankfully the relevant people got back to me so was able to rectify that...

I don't recall having started on revision proper more than a week before my first paper ever before. Somehow i ended up choosing classes that have their deadlines rather early, so actually had nothing else school-related to do but revise from as early as Wed (which i did, and am doing, but very slowly - but hey it's a start right...) That being said, as i've expressed to some random people, i'm prepared to see my grades drop somewhat this sem owing to various complicated reasons, but i know that whatever happens the Lord has been ever-faithful - and i'm thankful no matter what lah (Job 1:21 - "Blessed be Your Name" - comes to mind but i'd hardly think that in Job's situation i'd be as unflinching - was already sad when i lost my old nalgene...)

Will it stop raining here everyday already?

It seems that facebook is starting to catch on here eh - seems really different though from the good old days, so to speak, when i was still over there. And it makes me more sentimental for how things were like last time in a way - for me the primary reason why i have fb (and aim too, for that matter) when i eschew just about everything else is that it helps me to keep in touch with friends outside of S'pore, especially those back at Carolina... But, still i suppose that at the end of the day; plus ça change, c’est la même chose, n'est ce pas?

processing

Hmm after having been rather overwhelmed by work for much of the sem that has gone by, i now find myself in the enviable and strange position of having nothing really to do apart from prepare for the exams. It reached the stage whereby on Thursday morning it took me around fifteen minutes methinks to find appropriate study stuff to bring to school so that i wouldn't waste the day.

But that being said, i'm really glad for the break, cos it's long overdue, and i really really could use one now - as has been the norm for this sem, i've had a lot of things on my mind, and now procides a perfect opportunity to finally devote more time to clearing all the backlog.

So to that extent just now after dinner since i've no work to do i decided to go for a walk at ecp. Even though it was like super humid and it felt really sticky, i figured that a walk would help me to process a lot of stuff and talk to God more clearly as well.

That turned out rather well. I didn't like get immediate answers/solutions to the stuff i was bringing before God and actively considering, but it certainly helped me to organize my thoughts and get some new insights onto some stuff. Rather bizarrely as well, ideas for a song (both music n lyrics) somewhat spontaneously came to mind, which has never happened before (Love Compels was a so-called commissioned work which took a lot of deliberate attempts at conceptualizing, and i never had ideas for the music). Will try and piece the ideas together and complete the thought cos it's a useful outlet i feel...

Oh, and when i say walk, i really mean walk - as in walk from my house all the way to that place past Bedok Jetty where there used to be a coconut grove which would be perfect for filming Indian movies but which now has some fancy white garden structures, and then crossed the road to the Bayshore area where i took a bus back home - the total walk lasted around 100 min.

Oh anyways today's Good Friday service was interesting - certainly the longest service i've ever attended - it was supposed to be 3 hours long (to signify the recognition of the darkness following Jesus' death from the 6th to the 9th hour, and anyways i've sat through at least one of those before), but the seventh and last meditation extended quite a bit, such that it lasted a total of more than three and a half hours. The length meant that while initially i took in a lot of what was said in the earlier meditations, by the time number five came (ironically that was my father's one =p) and on from there my mind semi-switched off so i couldn't process a lot of it... But it was a good experience and i did manage to take back some of the stuff that was preached...

still lost in transition

Today for church i went to SAC again, but this time to check out the later and more contemporary service. The rest of the family went for the earlier service, so i was more or less alone this time. While the service itself went well (it was the church missions Sunday which was nice, felt reminded of MEET), i couldn't help but feel irked to a certain extent, because there i was having to try and get used to yet another church environment (which is the main reason why i'm somewhat reluctant to say i'm really leaving SHC just yet) - after like five or six church moves one tends to get somewhat weary of it... It takes so much to settle down, to get to know people and to find one's place within the whole structure of things; and yup, assuming at the end of the day the Lord wants me to move on to SAC (which i feel is more and more the case), this will mean a grossly long integration process for me i fear...

So you know when people ask me if one feels pressure being a pk, while the answer to a certain extent is yes, at least for me it's relatively easy enough to keep a low enough profile, so in my opinion the far greater problem is getting used to (at least within the Anglican context) having to be shuffled around so very often and the difficulties that arise with each move.

And speaking of moving, i also had my first look at the new house - oops, i mean apartment. Yes after 23 years i no longer will be staying in a house with a garden, and probably not for the forseeable future either. Actually the place itself exceeded my expectations (which were set very low anyways cos i was, and still am, dreading the move away from the east to some funny knoll in the far boondocks of town...), it's bigger than i thought, and after a decent renovation it shouldn't be too bad... That being said i still wish i could stay put...

Was a tad overambitious just now with the run, and was trailing far behind for much of it. Predict aching calf muscles for tomorrow when i wake up... And ate so much for dinner that whatever was burnt has probably already been replaced. Bah.

lost in transition

Well over the past week or so my father has officially moved church over to SAC from SHC, and accompanying it has been a flurry of activity including a range of farewells from the latter, culminating in a pseudo welcome dinner yesterday and church service today at the former. Really neat that they've planned all these stuffies, yup and i must say i could really feel an atmosphere of agape love all around (i feel it in my fingers, i feel it in my toes...)

Not that this is anything new (for me this is my 5th time moving church and subsequently house, my family has done it a couple of times before i was born too), but i definitely feel that as one gets older one feels the change more. I mean, last time i was still like totally blur cos i didn't know any better, but the move over to SHC and now this one have been harder cos i guess now i've more of a life of my own now than, say when i was in p6. I can honestly say that after so many times, having to uproot oneself and find one's own way into a new church setting still isn't any easier, which is why i'm not really 100% confirmed on making the church move along with the family (nor the house move, for that matter, but that one bo pian one...) so am gonna take these next couple of weeks to try and feel my way around the new church and see how things are. Of course, to complicate matters even more, my family was in this church from 1986-1991, so there's a significant number who do know who i am and hence have approached me to say hi (and given me the expected "last time" remarks like "last time you were so small, now so big already!" or "remember my son/daughter? last time you used to always play/fight with each other!"), even if i myself have little if any clue who many of them are cos i was only like 7ish when i left.

Ah well, have to get used to it i suppose. I'll find it expecially difficult to get used to the fact that my church is no longer to be found next door to my house, which has been a happy reality for like close to eighty percent of my life including the past 12 years. Today my mother woke me up at 7am or so reminding me that we had to leave soon in order to reach church by 8am - that's when this hit me... I've been pampered man...

Rain stop already leh can - need to run...

Festering

Can you imagine, it's Tuesday and i'm already almost done with the week? I've only one class on Friday left and nothing else, still trying to figure out what to do with myself in the meantime. Starting to look at work is always a good idea, but the reality of that happening is extremely slim. Slacking and stoning, which is what i did for most of today once my classes had ended, seem to be far more likely possibilities for the days ahead...

Anyways, i had a good time just now at the int'l students' thingy, great to see some of the unc peeps who are here again, as well as meet many new people as well. The whole experience also confirmed my deduction that i switch accents automatically depending on who i speak to, definitely sounding more American whenever i'm faced with a speaker with such an accent too, but easily going back to normal otherwise, and finding it hard, if not impossible to try and reverse the order of things...

I must say that with things having changed so much over the past semester when i was away, it's been hard to adjust and get in sync with all that is going on, to fit back in so to speak... To make matters worse was the news i got when i called home the last time while i was still in the States that (think all the people who have a right to know this before others already know this so i can make it common knowledge here) my father's being posted elsewhere, and therefore we'll have to move out of our place sometime in March into somewhere else, which i just learnt will probably be an apartment in Novena. Added to this is the dilemma as to what i should do with regards to church cos i can stay or go, be it to where my father is posted to, or even to another church altogether...

I'll try to be candid here without being brutal, so basically i was and am and will continue to be totally bummed about this news, and this will probably last way into the time after i've actually already moved. At the back of my mind i know that this has to be part of God's plan (and it's not like this is a matter of life or death, so i guess i've less of a right to wail and complain and ask "why me?") but this really could not come at a worse possible time for me at least. Churchwise i'm still trying to settle in somewhat and while i've long settled into the house, i've really grown attached to the place (if and when i get my own place i'll definitely want it to be in the east) and the fact that i know people nearby. Novena may be close to town but that's hardly a draw for me and there's nothing else there to make me excited about moving there. The move is definitely gonna be very disruptive to the semester, and furthermore, i have no idea how i'm gonna get to school affordably yet quickly enough from there (never have i cherished bus 10 so much). Knowing me, i'll probably be in some variation of the general theme of a foul mood from now until a buffer period after the move is complete. And i think it strange, cos until this move, all my other five moves have been met with little resistance from me, if any at all, cos i really was not bothered by them. This one, on the other hand, well i'm basically chockful of negativity towards it. Hmm, i guess the more i think of it the more frustrated i get, and that's not healthy at all, so i think it best i stop here...

A teeny thing to cheer me up: Tar Heels are ranked #1 this week =)

Reverse culture shock

Just under 48 hours since i've arrived back, and i'm definitely still getting used to stuff back here after five months away. Things like how i get into the car and wonder why things look strange to me, and then i realise that the steering wheel is on the other side of the vehicle; or how my ear pricks up whenever i hear a Singaporean accent being spoken, then it hits me that duh, i'm back in S'pore so of course i'd hear the accent again; or like i step into the supermarket semi-expecting nice Christmas music to play over the speakers, only to be jolted into reality with the persistently jarring refrains of gong xi gong xi gong xi ni ah instead...

Yup well i'm glad that i somehow possessed the foresight to book my flight back when i did - not too early as to shorten the good times in NC, yet also not too late as to not be able to catch a bit of rest and settling in before school starts again. And i was also somehow pleasantly surprised that for once UA didn't delay me by too long on the way back (only half an hour or so late, which when put against the rest of my track record with them is pretty decent) so i managed to get back home at a not too unearthly hour, and i didn't even have any baggage misplaced, which is not a guarantee with them, i must say. Did have to fork out $50 for a piece of overweight baggage though, for one bag was 7 lbs over the limit. And this is after a very thorough and very painful process on my party of taking out tons and tons of stuff from my bag that i'd actually have wanted to bring back home with me such as all my books (probably will never look at them at any time in the near or far future, but i'm the clingy sort) which probably would have added another 20 or so lbs to my baggage. Ah but what's done is done i suppose...

Thankfully am not affected too much by jetlag - save perhaps for my stomach, which demands feeding in the morning, something that seldom happens usually. A bit tired here and there, but that should ease off in the days to come...

Most of my weekend was spent lazing around the house while squeezing in an occasional complaint here and there about the oppressive heat and humidity. Have gotten down to unpacking just a wee bit though, and i suspect that my bags will remain largely in the state that they are currently in for quite some time to come. One thing i did spend a lot of time on was retuning the guitar, which had gone down by a couple of whole tones methinks. Also spent lots of time watching some dvds that i bought from the us cos it's far cheaper there than over here.

Today went to church and met up with some of the cell people. Attracted much unwanted attention due to the length of my hair. Practically everyone reacted in the same two-part manner - the first part saying that they liked my hair like that, and the second part asking what my father had to say about it... After service went down to Black Canyon [yup it's moved to just a minute or so from my house, away from Serene Centre (i can imagine why, it's a much nicer place here)] for a bit with the cell peeps. Was great catching up and all... And i just came back from dinner with my grandparents just now - my grandma said that she liked my hair too. Unfortunately she also linked that compliment to her thinking that my side profile now looks very much like that of a girl's...

Sigh so fast and school starts tomorrow. My Mondays feature 10-11, 12-6 days, which is hardly peachy. Must look at it within the larger context of a 3 1/2 day week to be less bitter with my Mon schedule i guess... One thing's for sure though, i'd better get into the habit of doing mon work as soon as i get it, cos the last thing i want is to be cramming it all in to my Sunday, which i've sorta resolved to keep as work-free as humanly possible. Yupyup we'll see how that goes...

Nope, can't think of a title again...

Today saw a little less slacking on my part, since it was Sunday, so we went to church - the church some of the extended family (who stay almost next door, in typical Asian fashion) of our host go to. It's called People's Church, and though the name of the church may sound a little left-leaning, rest assured there were no tyrannical goofy-looking Pastors that hold absolute control over the church nor a congregation that were goose-stepping while waving flags and pictures of their dear leader around. In fact, there was a very convivial atmosphere there, and i would have felt right at home, if not for the fact that i didn't really think about a dress code save for wearing long pants, only to arrive there and find almost every single member of the male gender there (except for a token child or adolescent, oh and me too) wearing a collared shirt of some kind, even if they were wearing berms. So i spent a good portion of the service scanning around the sanctuary looking for other dress code offenders - hmmm...

The service itself was contemporary but definitely not even bordering the more charismatic jumpy style. The worship itself was done on a very big scale - the team consisted of ten to fifteen people standing in a row across the whole stage à la the "Seasons of Love" scene in Rent, supported by a full choir, all the usual musicians, plus a full orchestra, all except the ten to fifteen people being visible somewhat in the picture below (the ten to fifteen people are not there cos i took this photo after worship - in fact this photo is so badly taken cos i quickly sneaked my camera out, took a snap, and immediately stuffed my camera back in my bag again - the last thing i wanted to do was to draw further attention to the collarless shirt guy...)

In any case, i had a blessed time at the service - though the duration (which like last week's church, was all of one hour and ten minutes) was something that i'm still not used to. The worship and the message were both very evangelical - none of that superficial fluff which sadly does come up now and then in other places... Yup more pictures and details of the church can be found there =======> cos they take forever to upload here, and i also don't want to say the same things twice...

After the service, we went to the mall for the afternoon - i spent much of my time there walking up and down, browsing through the various stores, wondering whether to buy this or that but in the end only buying a couple of small items. Walking along the boys' department at the various department stores, i observed that by implication my size in the US is still that of a boy - since a good portion of the clothes there can fit me (and in fact i have bought such clothes recently, but i refrained this time)

Walking through the mall has all but confirmed in me the fact that i'm starting to sound more and more American. For example when i hold the door for someone and they say "thank you" i no longer respond with "you're welcome" but now with "yerrr wellcum" or something to that effect. And when i accidentally brush against someone it's no longer "sorry" that i utter but rather "sahrry"... And i no longer "queue up" or take the "lift" - now i "join the line" and take the "elevator". Basically, i consciously can take note of whenever i subconsciously speak American. I suppose that it's inevitable in a sense because if i do not converge with the predominant accent, i may not be understood - you can talk about asserting your S'porean identity all you want, but if the folks around you don't understand you, how will you get by? So i have a feeling that by the end of these few months i may sound more and more American and hence become one of those fake-os whom i always frowned upon last time because of their atrociously affected accents...

I had forgotten to mention that the day before yesterday, we got lost driving around downtown Fresno trying to locate the Greyhound station to buy tickets to San Francisco. And it was at night too. I tell you during the more than half an hour driving around, i saw so many 'colourful' sights it disturbed me. (FYI, according to the ever-dependable wikipedia Fresno is the city with the most concentrated level of poverty in the US - so you get the idea of what i saw) That has further got me thinking on these issues and how to react to them as a Christian, specifically in the near future while i am still here (and i hear that some of the neighbourhoods relatively near UNC are of the same pattern as what we have in Fresno)

My host's daughter, who's also my friend from my previous church, is now in Mexico for exchange too - and guess what - her baggage got lost by United Airlines as well - and it hasn't been recovered yet - so that's in total the fourth story i've heard of UA doing so already... Hmm so in the future, should i still fly the friendly skies?

Since much of my time here has been spent slacking and eating, i've been putting on weight - and i haven't even started school yet! This i suppose is part of the reason behind weird thing about me #6... But anyways, looks like i'll really have to find some form of exercise once i get to school...

Tomorrow i take the Greyhound again - this time a much more manageable close-to-five-hour ride to San Francisco, where the flight to school *typing of post interrupted by farny skype call from Daniel n Mei Si plagued by background noise and a poor connection* will be from. Now with those new anti-terror guidelines i can't bring any liquids on board the passenger cabin, which is of little significance to me except that i'll be pestering the flight attendant for water very often. I wonder if people will now look back at that old Clairol Herbal Essences ad with the lady making "Yes, yes!" noises while shampooing her hair in the plane lavatory with nostalgia...

Heard the Matt Redman song again on the radio today - think it's on it's way to becoming one of my favourites - hooray for biblical lyrics =)

I have a choice - and i choose to be cryptic

Hehe am finally awake enough to comment on the sleep-deprived events of the past few days, and ironically it is at a time when i really ought to be asleep...

Well, night cycling was a blast - never thought that we'd have such a big group -18 people methinks - but in the end it went ok - God was gracious in keeping us all safe, especially during the Changi Airport perimeter road stretch, which even i get intimidated by from time to time... And this whole cycle then eat fatty and oily food then cycle some more to burn off what's eaten is such a swell idea - guilt-free pigging out i like =) And when you cycle in groups it's always seems less of an effort to cover long distances - if i were alone don't think i could have made it so far , though come to think of it, that's probably because in a group i am forced to modify my pace to suit others and hence don't tire myself out prematurely...

Managed to be awake enough to head on home, shower and then head off to my polling station with my father to vote. From what i saw in the newspaper today, i just missed seeing my neighbour the 'elected' president cast his vote, since he came once voting started and i came around five minutes after that... Ah well, anyway, it was over in a jiffy - a random point: i recognized the uncle of the bike shop outside my house who the previous day helped me to change my worn-out bike tyres at the polling station, the tyres which i around an hour or so later soiled by accidentally cycling over some gross prawns that someone had just discarded on the road at east coast...

After MEETing, joined cell-u-lights for dinner and bowling. Great to be able to spend time with them again - hope that may be when i am back will be able to commit more time to church stuff, and have a greater burden for the church too... Anyway, bowled my second-best game ever (110 - helped by a bowling computer programme which was probably programmed by an arts student given how it credited two pinfalls for a longkang shot...) so was quite happy with that...

Just some random old pic i unearthed from the thursday cg vault
-we were young and innocent then haha
and heyfrenz is the centre of attention

Those who went bowling

My team - made up of non-TPJC people - the others

Team Touching People for Jesus Christ (TPJC)

Hmm the bowling balls (which by the way, prove that i have too big hands - my fat fingers could only comfortably fit into a 14-pound ball ) look like giant skittles...

Rushed home from bowling alley to watch election coverage (see - bowling alley only 5 minutes from house =) As i said before - my vote is secret - though i am sure anyone whose talked with me about politics will be more than clear on my preferences... Well suffice to say i was annoyed in one way or other by every party - of course some much more than others. The outcome, well. it's not what i would have wanted ideally, but think it's the minimally acceptable standard for me... I tell you if certain people had won, i'd be rather peeved, and would want to, ahem, fix them =p

Maybe if one day when i am more in the mood, i shall be more overt in expressing my views regarding the election, but for now, be content with this random observation from the natural world: Night Owls terrorise Otters, Pheasants and Pigeons...

HOORA ... eh, still got one more hor =p

So by God's grace have completed the unholy trinity of papers, and am all but in party mode already, inspite of the fact that i still have one more paper on saturday, which i to all intents and purposes have not even started preparing for yet, owing to the aforementioned unholy trinity... *whee*

Wah but i must say there has been prayer support for me aplenty and i have been really thankful for all of it. It certainly has helped to see me through these past two draining days...

Wednesday's Vietnam paper was ok lah, not as good as i hoped for, and at least from how i read my own responses, think that my exam score won't live up to my ca scores. But then again, the ca grades were totally unexpected and a blessing from God in the midst of all my adversity earlier this sem, and that's something i must continually remind myself of - to be thankful in all circumstances... And while i could also complain about my being stuck in some ulu cul-de-sac in the TH exam hall from where i could not even see the front where the clock was, i'd rather be thankful for the bunch of history seniors that i've had the pleasure to get to know both during the course of the module as well as on the day itself... Nice people they are...

Then today was my struggle paper and then the el paper. Two booboos that i made today during the papers:

1) Didn't read the instructions of the struggle paper carefully enough, and hence gonggong went on to write part of my answers on the question paper, when i was supposed to write everything on the answer booklet. Thankfully, the announcement went out 15 minutes before the end of the paper to "please remember to write all your answers on the answer booklet provided", which is when it finally hit me and the instructions on the paper suddenly made sense to me. After a split-second "AAAAHHHHH!" i composed myself and managed to transfer my answers onto the correct thingy, and still had time to complete the paper too. P-H-E-W.

2) Due to my habit of not bringing my bag along to the exam venue i left my stuff in the library and only took the necessary stuff. But i couldn't help but feel that i left something behind, and had that nagging feeling with me all the way to the point when i sat down in the exam venue then it hit me "eh, my specs!" Haha but obviously it was too late cos they were all the way in the library. Thankfully didn't develop tired eyes like i normally would when trying to do reading-related stuff without them, and managed to write normally for the whole paper and barely missed them. Then of course after telling Ade and Debs about forgetting to wear them after the struggle paper, i promptly forgot to put them on and ended up making the realization for the second time while on the way for the second exam paper. Thankfully once again their absence did not hinder me too much...

One other thanksgiving - since i always take off my watch and put it at one corner of my table as a time gauge during papers, i often disregard the exam centre clock. Well, thankfully today my watch battery chose 430pm to start to act up and stall, which was really good timing (it is a watch battery after all =p), since i ended my paper at three and if it had died-ed before that my paper would also have died-ed cos i would screw up my time management...

And in general, i am thankful also because the whole novelty of the two-exams-in-a-day thingy (which actually isn't a novelty since i vaguely remember doing the same thing during As - some more last time exams were three hours a piece) did not really get to me, in spite of my worst fears, and through prayer was not plagued by much unease eventually and actually found today's two papers the two that have gone best for me so far.

Also in the midst of the papers am really thankful for the times spent apart from the books, even during these busy times, and also for people that the Lord brings along just to make things easier - like Sida - my more-than-occasional ride to-and-from school - who really makes things that much better for me especially during 9am paper days - and various friends (including friends) who have offered prayers and encouragement throughout.

Ah this whole election thing is really starting to interest me - to bad it's during exams, just like the last one which was during As (my goodness was that long ago or what...) so can't afford to be too distracted. Reminded once again that despite my deep inner preference towards a particular party, i should not vote just based on what i want per se, but to really be prayerful about this because this is part and parcel of how the Lord has called us to intercede for everyone -for kings and those in authority, that we might live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness (1 Tim 2:2). Yup so while i get increasingly irked with what is going on as the days progress, i do have to bear this in mind...

And shucks was just looking through some of the stuff that parents brought back from previous church's 70th anniversary celebrations, and realise that i do miss the place and the folks and all that.. and there are so many issues underlying this too that best remain untyped... ah, am not getting into one of me moods again, don't worry, just having little regrets and other stuff like that...

Christ the Lord is Risen Today!

Easter Sunday - the day we observe and celebrate Jesus being raised from the dead after dying on the cross for our sins.

Well, it's not like i never knew that, but i realised that at least up to today i have never (at least as far as i can remember) understood and been hit with a greater reality as to what this meant for me as a Christian.

Hmm this is very hard to put into words, it's something like while i always knew what we were commemorating each Easter Sunday, i didn't really take time to ponder upon what it meant, but was more of just going through the motions i guess.

Then today during service as i was meditating upon the word of the songs we were singing they started to hit me. Songs like "My Redeemer Lives" which i used to sing like all the time back in my, erm, youth (hey it was like ten years ago k...), and an even older one too, "Celebrate Jesus Celebrate"... And i was like "hey these songs that i've been singing for so many years - they are talking about Jesus' victory over sin and death here, the basis of my faith... it's really important and weighty stuff, not just happity clappity fluff (ok so i didn't think that last part)!" And so the words made so much more sense, all the more since it was Easter, and then, as has been the pattern of my general reaction to many of the songs sung at the Holy Week services this week, eyes got all watery again [though i must admit that especially for a guy my tear ducts are rather active - for example i tear up almost whenever i am tired - i just have to close and rub eyes a bit and the liquid will appear - think it's cos my eyes get dry so easily that have to moisten them or else my blinking will be accompanied by scratchy sounds (you should have seen me when i was a day or so in to my trip to Vegas - the combination of a day-long plane ride in a dehumidified plane cabin, the dry Vegas desert air, and the smoky casino-lobby of my hotel had resulted in a very teary and red-eyed matt - almost looked like i was all hung over and in emotional tatters after losing my life savings at the roulette wheel - and btw just for the record i am very much anti-casino - or as the justifying euphemism goes, anti-integrated resort, but i digress)]. But yeah, seriously, i believe that God was definitely ministering to my not-all-there self just now. *smilez*

And the Lord continued to speak - especially during the semi-spontaneous testimony time that we had, where there were several people who went up to share and bless the rest of the congregation - the common thread being God's continued faithfulness and goodness to those who seek Him. It was very touching really... Wow, even through the simple things, it was amazing and very encouraging to see how the Lord was working in the lives of fellow brothers and sisters in Christ =)

This quote, shared at the end of the sermon, speaks to me heaps:

"Never let anything so fill you with pain or sorrow as to make you forget the joy of Christ risen" - Mother Teresa of Calcutta (1910-1997)

Indeed, His resurrection and what it means both for us as Christians and as well as with regards to what we hope to share with pre-believers is, for lack of a better way to term it, very important stuff...

An added, semi-related note: Since my room is roughly only forty or fifty metres away from the Bethel Hall, where many of the services take place, i can more or less hear whatever goes on there that is loud enough. So just now i heard what was going on at the pre-primary/primary one or so Easter outreach held there. As much as i cannot stand children, it was truly beautiful to hear so many young voices praising the Lord from their hearts. And i am sure to hear these songs of praise sung without any agenda or blindness to the Lord must be pleasing to Him =) Reminds me now of one of the testimonies shared during the aforementioned testimony time, where a young mother shared with the church how her little daughter was telling her how she could feel the Holy Spirit moving in her as she was singing songs of praise - it's just so wonderful and encouraging to hear that...Truly there is nothing hindering any of us from coming into and enjoying His presence =)

Was reading from Psalm 24 a couple of days ago, and came across, from verses 7 and 9, lyrics that undoubtedly inspired this song. Then it so happens that we sang it today... Looking at the lyrics, it's cool as to how the words of the Psalm talk about the jubilant reception of our victorious King of glory, these words taking on new relevance today as we celebrate our victorious risen Christ.

Glory

Great is the Lord God Almighty
Great is the Lord God on high
The train of His robe fills the temple
And we cry out highest praise

Glory to the risen King
Glory to the Son
Glorious Son

Lift up your heads
Open the doors
Let the King of glory come in
And forever be our God

Holy is the Lord God Almighty
Holy is the Lord on High
Let all the earth bow before You
And crown You Lord of all

Lyrics courtesy of Christian-Lyrics.net

Blessed Easter everyone...

thunderbolt and lightning, very very frightening

so here's the happy post-morten post that i was anticipating...

basically, after much delay, managed to finish typing by around twelvish, with enough time to edit and do the citations and print all before the 2pm lecture where i was to hand the thing up

[and when i refer to much delay, i really mean much delay: think spent more than half of the time available to me following the previous post to voluntarily do totally (with emphasis on the word totally) unrelated and distracting things, such as to see 2am while i was still at the intro to be the perfect time to look at the online bios of the new ruling party candidates and read them in detail]

and was blessed with just the right amount of nap time in between so as to be relatively lucid and not write nonsense, while still having adequate time to type

so it was handed in, and thus a huge weight has been lifted off me, though that did not signal the end to my dazed and confused state, but ah well, it's still a big load off, so can't complain =)

ever since catching American Idol (which i chose to watch over doing my essay btw), Bohemian Rhapsody has been stuck in my head, even more so than Bucky's "Oh Boy" and "Gray Sky Morning". To call it bizarre would be to not do it justice i tell you (where else would you get references to Galileo, Beelzebub and Scaramouche doing the fandango within the same sector of a song?)... Well, it could have gotten tackier, so not complaining that it's Bo Rhap and not "I Want to Break Free" or "We are the Champions"...

The final cg was great for me, and in reflection there were just too many things to be thankful for over the past acad year, even in merely the cg context. Yup had great fellowship and great encouragement too =) Thursday cg has really been, by God's grace, something really special...

Maundy Thursday and Good Friday Services were refreshing and extremely reflective for me... Even though i was admittedly still rather distracted (and can't pinpoint why either), the songs sung, in particular really spoke to me, although they're more or less the same songs every year (when i surveyed the bulletins from three churches that i had access to - KKMC, St.Peter's and St. Hilda's, i noticed that "When I Survey the Wondrous Cross" was sung at all three services - perhaps this was why there ended up being at least three different tunes to the same lyrics available - so there would be some variety - and also other popular songs of the season like "Were You There" or "Above All" too) honestly i couldn't help but tear (as in liu2 yan3 lei4, not shi1 po4) up - dunno if it's just an emotional high, but the words did pierce me to some extent - a good reminder for me even in this busy time and distorted state that i find myself slipping in and out of...

The Lord really showed me how He answers prayers through a sequence of events that began with me sharing with Adrian, Dan and Joce how i didn't know how to go about inviting them, and didn't even feel very convicted to do so , and ended up with, as the Lord moved, me accompanying them to Zhihui's church (KKMC) this morning for service =) A great encouragement it was...

Zhihui brought us for bak kut teh today for lunch after service - have never eaten so much pig for a long time (in fact now i can still feel all that fat swimming within me, pushing against my arterial linings). Never really cared for it before, but this one at rangoon road was surprisingly good =) So good that i even ended up eating quite a bit of pig intestines which upon biting into each piece oozed out what i perceived to be lots of fat, not to mention fatty pig trotters too... Not surprisingly, i have a deep motivation to go running now...

Somehow ended up in Ikea too, where i bought cool Swedish raspberry and vanilla cream cookies and chocs - to be shared with my fellow muggers over the course of the next week and beyond in school (but if you want these things you'll probably have to make your way up to the sixth floor, call me a creature of habit, but after spending a day in SMC, realised that i do prefer the atmosphere and cooler temperature of upstairs, even though it can get noisy - but hey, i have earplugs =)

Norah Jones playing on my com making me sleepy...

i really ought to find whatever that strange force it is that somehow makes me totally unmotivated to do anything academic in nature whenever i stay at home, particularly so when it's a whole day that i somehow waste away in nothingness...

But well, today me went for my first complete cell-u-lights in a very long time, and it was a good time, Carol shared from John 21:15-23, about Jesus' reinstatement of Peter following his three denials, and how it relates to our love for others in the Lord and how we wrongly tend to see ourselves in comparison to others instead of focusing upon the things that the Lord has in store for us, and how he can really work through us for His glory... Was a good reminder for me =)

After that went for another ecp run, which hopefully will turn into a weekly, if not bi- or even tri-weekly affair (probably wishful thinking on my part though...). Came to the conclusion that i'll sign up for ippt before MEET anyway, and see how it goes, and if cannot make it, then i'll take it again after MEET, as long as before i (hopefully) fly off... Just hope got chance to exercise when i am in Thailand if that is the case... But anyway, i am proud to say that i cut my timing from last week by almost five minutes to 35min 57 sec (the disclaimer being that i started timing from a point about a couple of hundred metres and two traffic lights further from where i did last week...)

Felt really good at first, but towards the end was all but spent, but thankfully managed to get through it... In the process i had to swerve through bands of oblivious pedestrians, who seem to have an affinity to walking in large hoards, even if they are all from seperate groups initially; dodge scores of annoying children darting across the footpath or manouvering their tricycles and ringing their bells with no intention other than to make noise; and got hit in the chest by a wayward frisbee... Somehow throughout the run these two unlikely songs were going through my head: Bucky Covington's so-so rendition of Buddy Holly's "Oh Boy" from last week's American Idol and freakily, some CNY song too, whose beat was just perfect for my strides, and whose title and tune i now thankfully have forgotten...

On the way back, i passed by the latest bargaining chip that i can use to lure the non-easties over here for stuff: the newest branch of Settler's Cafe which is just 5 minute's walk from my house =) To adapt another line that i remember from somewhere (Shakespeare?): Oh east how do we love thee? Let me count the ways... The general serenity and peacefulness, the many good food outlets, the myriad leisure opportunities, the bracing sea breeze (ok maybe not that one =p) etc... Hehe so many that cannot count (and not just because my maths stinks...)

Watched a bit of The Hours which was showing on tv just now... Watched it before but the second time the thing that still really irks me is not the morally deficient storyline but rather the fact that the characters threw away a perfectly good chocolate cake and several yummy-looking trays of hors d'oeurve into the trash... Don't waste food leh...

bonsoir

an eventful year (so far hehe)...

Picking off from yesterday, i happily set my alarm clock for 5am, confident that i would wake up and have ample prep time before service at six.

So lo and behold, in spite of me usually being a very light sleeper, i slept through the alarm (either that or i sleepwalked and in the process turned the alarm off), and woke up at 5:55am. *gasps*, so i quickly washed up, changed and rushed next door for the sunrise service, getting there around 6:10am, only having missed the processional... Ah the perks of proximity...

Have never, to the best of my recollection, ever attended a service at that (can't say ungodly, especially since this is in the context of a service, and in any case, God is everywhere =) time before. One interesting thing that i realised about myself after the service is that, since at that hour in the morning my voice has not warmed up yet, i found myself singing the bass part to the hymns that we sang conmfortably and even was able to reach notes as low as a low D, which in normal circumstances (like in acjc choir last time) would result in me sounding more akin to a constipated tortoise, rather than to a human being...

Crossover service brought forth a challenge to basically be more outreach-focused in all we do, something that the Lord has been impacting upon me since last year. To really feel an overflow of God's love from us to all around us, that they too may know about the wonderful saving grace of Jesus. Am glad for the Spirit's timely reminder, coming at the start of a new year...

Haven't been able to stay back after crossover service for many many weeks now, so since now i have relatively less stuff to do, i took the opportunity to hang out with some of the dear people whom i haven't seen in a long time (particularly Eunice - you're back finally, though it almost seems as though you never left since i can still very clearly remember sending you off such a short time ago...), really have missed them all over my busy december. Got some really exciting news today too, shan't say more, just that it's amazing to see how the Lord works in His seasons, ultimately according to His perfect plan =)

The effects of the 6am service are clearly evident in my house now. Not for as long as i can remember have i seen my entire household knock out by 11pm... And here i am to join them...
Nitez...

in the absence of omnipresence...

As of late, i've realised , especially as the holidays are here, that there are so many things to do, so many places to go, so many people to meet, and yet so little time to do all of it.

So herein lies the dilemma, what things take priority, especially when two or more things compete for precedence in a single time slot?

Inevitably, i've had to forego stuff that, in an ideal world with limitless time, i'd happily engage in:

Activities in church for example, which due to more pressing commitments for MEET and other cf stuff have had to take a backseat. I'll admit that i feel a little bad that even with the much treasured support that the cell-u-lights are giving me, i'm unable to even appear in their presence very often due to event clashes. Crossover camp, carolling, outings, dinners, all impossibilities due to other stuff. Sigh.

Time with friends as well. Have just had to put off a dinner appointment with some acjc choir friends cos of clashes with other stuff as well. In cases such as these, and more so if the friends involved are pre-believers, then all the more i feel a little uneasy. Could not my time be at least just as fruitfully spent with such friends, even as the Lord may provide opportunities for my friends know more about Him through me?

Also important, time with self and with God. To reflect upon the time gone by, and to draw upon what the Lord may be speaking to me at that particular moment.

Of least importance, but still important nevertheless, exercise. Haven't cycled for months, ran for weeks, swam for days. Nowsaday just feel very gross without at least some token exercise now and then.

If i could have time in a bottle...

the aftermath

This afternoon, after the previous post and lunch, although i was not that sleepy, i just lay in bed all the way from around two-ish to five-ish doing pretty much nothing - didn't even sleep methinks cos time passed so slowly... Sort of dozed off and woke up intermittently, checking the clock in between only to find out that mere minutes had passed by. This pattern was also sporadically peppered with "semi-dreams", whereby i was dreaming nonsense stuff while being fully aware that i was doing so... Weird. Almost like i was under the influence of something... And of course this all meant that i have neglected my revision entirely for yet another day...

After that made the long and arduous one minute journey to church for cell. Always good to see, to learn more about God's word, to pray and to fellowship with one another. Dunno how to out this more tactfully, but it's good to be at the receiving end of spiritual feeding now and then, otherwise sometimes things can get quite draining...

Somehow i felt like running again this evening, partially cos this morning's running experience indicated to me that there's still loads of room for improvement, and also because i think that it's a great way to relax and relieve pent-up school stress (which admittedly i don't have a lot of now cos i haven't been working hard at all), while being a good way to exercise too. So it was to ecp with my dependable running kaki again. Have to find another one once he goes off for sep next sem though...