awareness?

I was ruminating a bit upon the events of the past Monday and Tuesday and was somewhat troubled by that, and then we had prayer on Friday morning when Kumuthan brought up that very point that had been troubling me as he was praying. And think it bears mention here, so here goes (even if it's a couple of days late...)

Well, as you might have gathered, i felt rather affected by the VT shootings, which saw a total of 33 dead, on Mon; and more so than the average person here since i was, albeit only for a semester, a college student in the US myself. And then, i forget how, but anyways i came to hear about the series of bombings in Baghdad that happened soon after in which nearly 200 people lost their lives. And the very fact that i forgot how i learned about the latter incident suggests how relatively insignificant the news was compared to the VT massacre, at least as portrayed by the media. Also, the very fact that i'd to source for a link to the news of the bombings on wikipedia rather than on a news site suggests how quickly this tragedy has faded into the background, especially when compared to what happened at VT.

I definitely have no intention of taking anything away from what happened at Blacksburg - such a tragedy simply cannot be brushed over. Nor am i suggesting that comparing the number of fatalities should be a gauge of how 'serious' a tragedy is. No matter who and how many people die, the effect upon those concerned is still something no one would want to be put through. But why is it that we (myself included) pay so much attention to one event, when the other, which i'd argue deserves more than a mere mention, seems to have become a mere footnote in comparison to the former? The close to 200 people killed in Baghdad by Sunni extremists were no less deserving of a tribute to their tragic and unnecessary deaths than the 32 who lost their lives at the hands of a lone gunman. Is it because violence has become such a way of life in Iraq that the latest bombings serve as nothing more than an added chapter to the basket case that is what the 'American-liberated' Iraq has become, whereas in the states with such incidents being relatively few and far between any such occurrence deserves greater mention? Or is it because we can identify more closely with the victims of the VT massacre than we can with those in Iraq? Whatever it is, such reasonings really cannot hold water, and yet this is the sad reality that we are faced with.

Come to think of it, how much of the sufferings in the world are we aware of and are interceding over? The horrifying situation in Darfur comes to mind. I myself knew next-to-nothing about what has been going on over there until i was at UNC and there were some IV thingies going on to pray for what has been going on over there. In fact, at this point in time, i'll admit that i still know little about what has been going on. I'd like to attribute it solely to the lack of media coverage but it goes further than that - my own apathy. But just take a look - the estimated number who have died as a result of what has been going on over there ranges from 200000 to 450000. How can i, especially as a Christian who is constantly reminded of God's undeserving sacrificial love for all of us, and His call for us to love others as He has us, not bother about a situation of such magnitude at all?

It's a struggle, i'll give you that. I still struggle too. But i guess the point i'm getting at is that, no matter how hard the struggle is, we need to be more aware of the things that have been going on in this fallen world, and actively intercede for them. God has put us here for a reason - i'm always reminded and remind people of that. May we never become so cosy with where we are that we forget of those around us, be they nearer or further away, and the fact that we all are equally in need of His grace and mercy.

processing

Hmm after having been rather overwhelmed by work for much of the sem that has gone by, i now find myself in the enviable and strange position of having nothing really to do apart from prepare for the exams. It reached the stage whereby on Thursday morning it took me around fifteen minutes methinks to find appropriate study stuff to bring to school so that i wouldn't waste the day.

But that being said, i'm really glad for the break, cos it's long overdue, and i really really could use one now - as has been the norm for this sem, i've had a lot of things on my mind, and now procides a perfect opportunity to finally devote more time to clearing all the backlog.

So to that extent just now after dinner since i've no work to do i decided to go for a walk at ecp. Even though it was like super humid and it felt really sticky, i figured that a walk would help me to process a lot of stuff and talk to God more clearly as well.

That turned out rather well. I didn't like get immediate answers/solutions to the stuff i was bringing before God and actively considering, but it certainly helped me to organize my thoughts and get some new insights onto some stuff. Rather bizarrely as well, ideas for a song (both music n lyrics) somewhat spontaneously came to mind, which has never happened before (Love Compels was a so-called commissioned work which took a lot of deliberate attempts at conceptualizing, and i never had ideas for the music). Will try and piece the ideas together and complete the thought cos it's a useful outlet i feel...

Oh, and when i say walk, i really mean walk - as in walk from my house all the way to that place past Bedok Jetty where there used to be a coconut grove which would be perfect for filming Indian movies but which now has some fancy white garden structures, and then crossed the road to the Bayshore area where i took a bus back home - the total walk lasted around 100 min.

Oh anyways today's Good Friday service was interesting - certainly the longest service i've ever attended - it was supposed to be 3 hours long (to signify the recognition of the darkness following Jesus' death from the 6th to the 9th hour, and anyways i've sat through at least one of those before), but the seventh and last meditation extended quite a bit, such that it lasted a total of more than three and a half hours. The length meant that while initially i took in a lot of what was said in the earlier meditations, by the time number five came (ironically that was my father's one =p) and on from there my mind semi-switched off so i couldn't process a lot of it... But it was a good experience and i did manage to take back some of the stuff that was preached...

volatility

Was typing my essay in my secret place earlier today when i happened to notice (cos the desks there are angled in such a way that when you sit you'll be semi-facing the neighboring screen) that the guy next to me was playing some kind of Chinese war computer game (Romance of the Three Kingdoms?). Ok fair enough, i thought, anyways the place still had some empty coms around at that time so if he wanted to go ahead with that then so be it.

Happened to catch a glimpse of his screen some time later. I was truly sickened to realize that the guy had switched to viewing a whole host of pictures of a quasi-erotic nature (i shall not elaborate further). Eek! I'd have liked to, to put it lightly, strongly advise him to stop that at once, but i didn't know how to go about doing that so i settled on trying to shift my monitor screen in such a way that his own screen wasn't in my line of vision and strategically holding up my notes right in front of my face whenever i could to block those disturbing images from my sight once and for all...

Well, that aside, the remainder of the process of typing my essay was rather uneventful. I'm really not one for conciseness so i ended up writing too much. During the editing process, i always feel so sayang to let words/sentences go so i try and keep that to a minimum. In fact in the editing process i often end up adding more fluff rather than getting rid of it. Yup so it did get a bit long, but still within reasonable limits i hope...

I do find it weird that i seemingly have little work to do (not many deadlines left really) but i've been feeling more tired than i've ever been this sem. Today it all started to get to me so i was back in my tactical, retreatist, loner mode and tried to avoid people as far as i could. Just as well i had an essay to finish. And that doesn't seem to be going away as of yet. Maybe God is telling me that i need to spend more time alone, as in time with Him (Ok so i know that for a fact). A lot of stuff continues to bother me, and whatever talking to God about all of these has been piecemeal at best. And the slightest thing seems to trigger more "me against the world" sentiment (and going along these lines in the unlikely event that the Tar Heels lose their Sweet 16 match to the Trojans tom that would so do it for me methinks) Yeah so the point of the story: need to spend time with God. Productive time, that won't reach a premature anti-climax with me falling asleep or having my thoughts drift to totally unrelated and far less important matters.

My current earworm over the past few days when i get up in the (very early) morning: And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going. Random thought but maybe that's what i've been subconsciously telling God as of late. "Going" as in going to genuinely want to do things His way. Hmm...

cinderella man

Nice clouds that greeted me as i was leaving school on bus 10...

No i've not got a penchant for dancing at fancy balls while looking for my Prince Charming while wearing glass slippers, nor am i even remotely interested in boxing (what kind of a wimpy nickname for a boxer is "Cinderella Man" anyways?).

What i'm alluding to rather is my sleep patterns over the past week. After week upon week of struggling to get up by 6-ish on Mon and Tue so as to make it in time for a bit of prep before morning class, only to have the lack of sleep be redeemed over the rest of the week when i end up getting up around 8-ish or later (and subsequently only reach school between 10-12)cos i can't get myself to get up any earlier; i decided to revamp my sleep sched and see how things would go.

So to that end i spontaneously decided to sleep by midnight before every school day this past week (and "spontaneously" because it just so happened that i was so tired last Sunday night anyways so slept early to begin with...). The flipside of this though is that i had to wake up at 6am each morning so as to get a ride from my father halfway and eventually reach school by 7:45 latest. But in any case, an ensured 6 hours of sleep every single night for even five days in a row has been a rare occurrence as of late so i can't complain really... Furthermore, forcing myself to sleep by midnight means that i don't waste unnecessary time online each night till 2am or later, which is what i'd previously been doing a lot of, and the early mornings at school have meant more chance to quieten down in prep for the day ahead, not to mention to get to go for morning prayer again, which is something i've not been able to do (cos either have classes or am not in school yet) since week 4 methinks... Yup so hopefully i can continue at least somewhat along those lines for the rest of the sem to come...

In other random news i had the misfortune of sitting one of those 'new-generation' sbs buses when i took bus 30 back the other day. I sat myself upstairs and was enjoying the peace of a tv mobile-free cabin (btw the new ones all seem to not have tv mobile - could this be an acknowledgement from sbs transit that it fundementally sucks so they're not installing it on any more buses?) when suddenly i heard what i thought was some toot that was sampling every single ringtone that his/her cellphone had to often. I distinctly remember hearing at least two national anthems (God Save the Queen and Das Lied der Deutschland), not to mention, bizarrely enough, Silent Night, among other tunes that are best left forgotten. After a while, however, i realized that the timbre of the 'ringtone' matched that of the stop bell, then i put two and two together and figured out that annoying music would play whenever the rear passenger door was open. Can't figure out why they'd want to do such a stupid thing, but anyway all the more reason to use earplugs from now on i guess...

We had some kind of reunion thingy for
the S'pore people who were at NUS last sem...

Corny sia...
And the freaky thing is that i was actually the
first one to spot this sign and laugh at it...

aiyah can't think of a title again *bleah*

stayed at home today, partly out of laziness and partly cos of my talked-about-till-death decision not to buy bus pass since a sizeable number of charitable rides to and from school offset any potential $ savings that could otherwise be spent by taking the bus everyday using the pass.

well, needless to say, as i have also always talked about to death, that meant that i didn't get any work done at home today.

am i annoyed? you bet i am, but at the same time i have this strange feeling of resignation that this will happen, and hence i don't seem to really agonize over the hours lost. Which is bad i suppose, cos while rushing work last minute due to matters of prime importance such as service etc taking up the time is ok, rushing work cos you procrastinated and just lay like a lazy pig at home doing nothing isn't... That's being a bad steward of time in my books. And just as well, since this therefore makes me living proof of the saying "it takes one to know one..."

anyway, after wasting the whole day away at home i decided to make something productive of my day, by going for a run from roxy to costa sands and back [of course this is linked to my quest to burn the 50x (where x = grossly huge and uncountable number of conveyor belt plates that i helped myself to at Aiwo yesterday) calories/get in some sort of shape before ippt (which incidentally i also have talked about till death)].

somehow a good portion of the lights at ecp were off, so there were portions of my run when i literally was running in the dark, half expecting that guy robed and hooded in black with the freaky mask and brandishing a kitchen knife to pop out and eviscerate me and string me from a tree upside down (yup what a warped mind i have eh...)

and maybe the darkness had something to do with me missing my usual halfway point (the pond opposite the ecp from vj) which Mark n i ran around before turning back last time, and instead carrying all the way to the end of costa sands before turning. But anyway, thankfully got through with the whole thing in 40min 30 sec, the distance covered being unknown to me though...

was also able to have a good time of prayer while running, somehow running with a certain sense of direction subconsciously translated into my prayers having much more apparent direction too. yupyup was good, i haven't been praying enough and when i have been praying often it has become an exercise in regularity, so always good for a change like i had today =)

all in all a good start lah, if sweat is a testament to the intensity and success of a workout, then just now must have been enough to get me a gold hehe., cos shirt so soaked probably had enough sweat wrung out of it to fill an entire nalgene (not that i tried of course), now for the discipline to keep this up on a regular basis... Here's another shout out for running kakis...

So i have stuff due on wed and thu which i haven't started on yet. My aim is to not finish them one hour before the deadline as was the case with my last assignment handed in...

bonne nuit

Don't you fret, Monsieur Marius

I love little falls of rain like the one that went on and on and on like the duracell bunny today, from the time that i reluctantly woke up at sevenish to silence my annoying alarm clock, only to curl back into my comfortable bed again and sleep till around nine (thank goodness for proximity to church), continuing on throughout the whole day till even now as i type this. Ok admittedly, parts of it were much more than little, but they were falls of rain nonetheless. And as Eponine sings, these falls of rain can hardly hurt me now (totally different contexts here, unlike her, i am not at the brink of death after having been shot at the barricades, but whatever the case Les Misèrables is not divinely inspired, so no issue with me doing this...)

Have been having a throat infection over the past few days, dunno how and exactly when it started, but anyways have been coughing out large balls of gooey and cloudy yellow phlegm *sick* at regular intervals, particularly so today. A lot of it is admittedly my fault, cos i haven't really been bothering to take care of the problem, hence my continued devouring of fried foods and ice cream over the past few days, and not resting my voice in the slightest... Thank God that on sat when i was leading MEET worship was able to sing without any of these vile substances unintentionally spewing out of my mouth or anything like that, and the Spirit was able to minister in spite of me...

Always good to meet up with old friends, so had a great time on sat, dinner with Tim and Renshao and later Jason. Really treasure these old friendships, that i find that are sometimes hard to build upon due to issues of time and space... One good thing about the holidays is that at least the spacial constraints are eliminated when lots of these people find their way back here during their own breaks. Makes me wonder though what might happen should i end up away later this year for so many months. Not being able to see so many people physically for so long time, having to rely upon emails and maybe phone calls, cos at this point i still intend to remain msn-less, even when i am there...

Have a handful of days to make sufficient sense of sep materials to put them all together by the deadline next wednesday. Thank God for people around whom i know can help out poor little blur me...

Realise that there has been a lot of stuff that i so-called should be doing, but have not been doing, in terms of service. That's something to pray about (incidentally, one of the stuff that i have not been doing enough of)...

Hoping that tutorial scheduling won't throw up any unnecessary and unnerving hiccups. Debs nearly threw me one. My timetable is already far from what i ideally would have had it look like ( i am very very fussy, btw), and the last thing i need would be huge spanners thrown in the works like more 8am slots, or the lack of a free day of other stuff like that.

Sigh, the rain has now stopped, there goes my ideal sleeping weather...

anyhoos, nitey...

from the brink of failure

So it finally happened, the long-unawaited el2101 paper.

When i first looked at the questions, i seriously thought that that was it, gonna fail already...

Even as i was flipping through the paper looking for any question that was remotely attemptable, i was going through in my mind what might happen if i flunked this module - six modules, more suffering with el modules, disastrous cap plunge...

But even in doing so, i had this strange calm in my heart that i know can only come from God. Then, i just put everything down, closed my eyes, and prayed.

Not a prayer of desperation or last resort, but simply a prayer to surrender the paper to the Lord.

Slowly but surely the thoughts started to flow, and the once desperately unmarked paper began to fill up with answers.

Now, i am not saying that the paper became a piece of cake, cos even at this point in time i have absolutely no idea how the grade will turn out.

But i do believe that, with God-granted discipline, effort was put into this module throughout the sem, in spite of how much i abhorred it and how discouraging my results for the tests were, and that with some degree of correlation, the Lord saw me through the paper today.

Also can't forget the prayers of various people whom i have previously poured out all my gripes and grieviances regarding this module to. Thanks =)

This morning as i woke up, this chorus was ringing through my head.

Forever God is faithful,
Forever God is strong,
Forever God is with us,
Forever.

How apt, perhaps the context in which i am reminded of this song is a tad anti-climactical compared to the countless wonderful instances of His faithfulness displayed in our lives, but nonetheless, His faithfulness amazes me.

random resolutions

Why should resolutions only be confined to the starting of a new year (be it solar/lunar calendar or academic)? To that effect (yes i am aware that b'day is coming up but this has totally nothing to do with it), i hereby resolve to:

Start taking notes in some way, shape or form while i am doing quiet time.

Recently, especially since the study break started, the Lord has been speaking to me in such amazing ways through His Word that haven't been the case for such a sustained period of time (just around a week - very good by my standards) ever. Am very thankful for the fact that i have been able to take away something new and refreshing from His divine Word more or less every day that has definitely spoken to me deeply (this also accounts for my recent penchant for sharing Bible passages with various groups of people - the Sword of the Spirit is such an amazing and powerful tool *yay*).

Of course, this sudden accumulation of spiritual treasure means that i have had trouble retaining much of it, which is where the idea to start writing down how the Spirit speaks to me through His Word comes in. Definitely a good habit that i've always had a momentary thought of now and then to do but never got around to.

So what i have to do is first to get a notebook. Now, some of you may know that i am quite one for primness (such a word?) and propriety [am trying to make nouns from "prim and proper" here], which means that everything must be just right [latest manifestation of this streak: i forgot to bring my pencil case to school that day and consequently went to the co-op to buy a new blue highlighter (yup, second in a week) in lieu of the brand new one at home to use for my readings cos i just have to use the exact same colour on all my notes]. This therefore means that i have to make sure that everything is just right for the notebook. Right colour (blue - nothing else will do...), size, price... Furthermore, once i get the notebook, my writing format of the notebook must also be standardized throughout each and every day... All of this merely makes the job of starting to fulfil this resolution all the more ma fan (especially considering how lazy and procrastinating i tend to always be)

So to that effect, when you (whoever you are) next see me, please do remind/prod/provoke/force me to go about actually starting this little undertaking of mine, so that it won't merely be an empty committment.

Reformat my room.

This stems from playing tennis at Ming Hui's house that day, when we went up to his room. It's slightly smaller than mine, but the space available is just soooo much more than what i have. The arrangement of furniture allows for maximal utilization of space, and therefore maximal empty space.

Now, if you have ever visited my room, you will know what a mess it is. Random unmatching pieces left over from the previous occupant combine with my father's two filing cabinets that the rest of the tiny house has no more room for, a totally unused air bike that similarly has no other place to call home, a box big enough to fit two mini fridges that is a remnant of Feb last year when we moved in to the house (and that currently serves as storage for any random piece of rubbish that i can't find any other place for, as well as a makeshift clothes rack), and my innate untidiness to equate to a total wreck of a living space.

Inspired by his room, i therefore hope to do some tidying up and furniture rearrangement in my room once time permits (which judging from my predicted schedule for the upcoming months, will fall somewhere around the start of the long break once year 2 ends...), so as to create more breathing space in this fire trap of mine. Already have ideas filling my head regarding how to go about doing this... Methinks i shall pay a visit to Ikea one of these days and see what i could get to replace some of this aging, cruddy furniture (but only once bus pass is restored though - which means next sem...)... Hmmm, judging from the rate that i am going, i won't be surprised if by the time this resolution is fulfilled my father gets posted somewhere else and we have to move again *bleah*.

Be outreach-minded.

Over the past month or so (and more so since we started having those very fruitful 9am morning prayer thingys at the arts canteen), God has, in several ways, been reminding me of my lack of action in terms of reaching out to others for Christ. Of course, there's MEET and all, but methinks that somehow i may have unconciously/subconciously been using that as a convenient excuse to, erm, excuse myself from doing so even here and now.

So now i am reminded of my grandfather, who i have taken for granted so much, since my family is otherwise more or less "fully Christian" in that sense, and who still has not come to accept Christ after 87 years. Also of my (maybe i have been neglecting building up relationships with them as of late) pre-believer friends (who don't even number much) or those of whom i am totally unaware of where they stand with the Lord at this point in time, especially those whom i have more or less broken off contact with and now wonder what might have been had i been obedient to the Lord's call back then. Even of the many pre-believers around me whom i have, up to this point never even had the thought of reaching out to through opportunities that the Lord has provided.

It is vital that comfort zones, which exist in terms of language, culture, friendship circles, time etc are exited from in this process. He does not require anything more from us than obedience to Him springing out of a deep love for Him that comes out of His initial great love for each and every one of us. So this is my prayer, that the Lord will cause this Christlike love to overflow from me, and that i will be sensitive to discern the opportunities that i know He will provide and take ownership of them as the Spirit leads.

Of course, i have many other things that i resolve to do [like pick up guitar, re-pick up and improve keyboards, learn Tagalog, re-learn and be fairly competent in French, finally get started on (let alone get) my driving license. get down to applying for SEP, run/swim/cycle/other exercise apart from soccer or badminton on a regular basis, and the list goes on...] but if i were to go on and on regarding all these my exam prep would just go down the drain, so for now, these three shall suffice...

mid-week mugging musings

Yet another cool day today (not literally though)

Today's morning prayer boasted a 250% increase in attendance from the previous day (4 to 10)! We had a good time of impromptu praise and worship, featuring several 'morning' songs including this one, which i haven't sung for eons:

I Will Praise You Lord

I will awaken the dawning
I will arise and sing
The fruit of my lips is the sacrifice that I bring (Hebrews 13:15)

Father, my heart is faithful
I will sing praises to Thee
Great is thy faithfulness
Great is thy mercy to me

And I will praise You Lord
Praise You forever and ever
I will praise You Lord
Praise you forevermore
I will praise You Lord
Praise You forever and ever
I will praise You Lord

(paiseh couldn't find this anywhere online, so this is from memory)

Once again, a simple song whose lyrics nevertheless speak volumes if we mean them when we sing...

Getting back to the prayer, yup, once again it was great to start off the mugging day in a time of communion with the Lord together with others who are, to put it rather crudely, all in the same boat...

Later on there was exam tea yet again, and the Lord was once again gracious in His provision of people to, in the midst of eating, just talk to about anythin under the sun, including, of course, Christianity =) I myself only talked to two people, since i was a bit busy with the prep and had no one else to really have the opportunity to talk to. One of them was a Filipino girl, to whom i proceeded to pour out my Chilipino blues to, and the other was my namesake, who also happens to be Jeremy Koh's cousin...

After dinner we had a time of simple sunset worship, which was beautiful in its simplicity, through which i could still feel the ministering of the Spirit so strongly through the songs. Look forward to the next one...

Now, i suppose that one may remark that i haven't really been doing that much revision, judging from all the other stuff that has been going on. Shouldn't i be piah-ing full steam ahead for the upcoming papers? I dunno lah, but somehow, i feel a sense of what i believe is His peace upon me over the past few days, assuring me that studies and grades are not everything, and that while of course they still are important in that this is where the Lord has placed me, yet He is pleased by the other stuff that has been going on. I definitely believe that He will see all of us through this period as we are obedient to His call in whatever area...

This short passage that i came across during my quiet time now comes to mind somehow...

Jeremiah 9:23-24

This is what the Lord says:
"Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom
or the strong man boast of his strength
or the rich man boast of his riches,
but let him who boasts boast about this:
that he understands and knows me,
that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness,
justice and righteousness on earth,
for in these I delight,"
declares the Lord.

more musings in the middle of mugging mania

Think i've said this before, but anyways am always encouraged and challenged whenever one of these sharing-cum-prayer sessions come around. Methinks it's really amazing how the Lord can speak to us through so many different channels, one of them being through the experiences and prayer of other people. Another good day today, not so much strictly in terms of revision progress (much room for improvement there!) but rather holistically, so to speak.

Today, owing to catching an earlier bus, i got to school before 8am (for the first time in months...), and so had the highly amusing experience of watching the impatient early morning
(30 or so strong) nus crowd hovering outside the library entrance, and then promptly dashing madly for the discussion rooms on the sixth floor once the doors were opened at 8am sharp. It was a scene more akin to selfish aunties converging outside OG for their annual sale, or those hoards who lined up like crazy outside McD's some years ago for those (in my opinion) ridiculous Hello Kitty toys.

Had another fruitful time of sharing and prayer today with Evan, Adrian and Ming Hui. Also, it's extremely refreshing to just unburden the stuff that has been a bother to like-minded brothers and sisters, to know that apart from the Lord forever being with us, there are others too who are aware of what is going on and who are there for you.

Exam tea day two went on well, as far as i was aware of. Of course, since was doing more preparation work throughout the whole thing, didn't really have the chance to speak to anyone. I'll also be the first to admit that i didn't really feel like talking to anyone new today anyway. What a challenge it is for us to get out of our comfort zones sometimes in accordance with what the Lord has commanded. That's another area to pray about.

Had an early end to today's revision session to go (attempt to) play tennis at Ming Hui's house, together with Evan and Maicie Chiam Mei Si. Had a great time, definitely have progressed a teeny bit since last time, but i still stink overall. That being said, am definitely beginning to warm to the game, and hope to have more chances to play in future. (What i'll never warm to is the aches and pains in my right upper body that always greet me upon waking up the next morning - in fact this time they have even pre-empted my sleep...) Much preferred to badminton, definitely, since at least i am able to hit the ball with the racket, something that has remained strangely elusive whenever a shuttlecock comes my way...

After the game, washing up and dinner, went over to Haagen-Daaz to just chill for a while. Ms Maicie Chiam Mei Si (a.k.a. "mei mei"), was in her element, and proceeded to dish out many choice verbal gems that resulted in more guffaws from the rest. Some truly were real classics... I kid you not... But aiyah, she so poor thing, kena laughed at by us just now, so won't embarrass her further by posting all the farny things that came out of her mouth. If you wanna know, look for one of us lah...

*my phone rings*

in the midst of my moderately meaningful mugging...

I resolve to never take bus 33 to school ever again. 10 cents saved by taking it instead of bus 10 doesn't make up for waking up at 645am in order to get to the Dunman Road bus stop by 710am, only to promptly watch not one, not two, but three bus 16s (the only other bus to stop at the stop) whizz by before a pathetic old single-decker bus 33 troddles along. This bus then proceeds to troddle along for the rest of the long and uneventful journey to nus (make that one event - the bus was overtaken by the next bus 33 en route *peeved look*), which it only reaches at around 840am.

I realise that this sem, a whole new community of chao muggers has taken residence in the central library. Imagine that, the whole floor is full of people by 10am... Compels yours truly to wake up even earlier to chope a good table for the vcf library fellowship (central library chapter) before none remain.

I am very thankful to God for the opportunity to gather together with like-minded brothers and sisters in Christ to just share with and pray with one another.

I try to hypothesize what may have caused my tongue to have seemingly unilaterally retired a significant portion of my tastebuds, leaving me unable to fully appreciate sweet and hot (disaster!) food for the past two days now (my nose is fine so it's nothing to do with smell). Delayed reaction of mala huoguo, perhaps?

I reflect upon the stuff covered as of yet and am extremely grateful to God for keeping me (fairly) disciplined, such that a substantial amount of stuff has been done so far...

I am humbled by His graciousness in seeing me through my last essay and even blessing me with a surprisingly good mark, in spite of all my worries and fears that i would screw it up badly. Haven't been so overjoyed about any mark for a long time now. All the more incentive to persevere on till this exam is done on 1 December. When will i fully learn that His grace is indeed sufficient for me in my weakness?

I observe, how from the goings-on of today's arts exam tea, that yours truly is not really a people person, as in i am hardly the most gregarious of people. Yet at the same time, i recognise that the Lord is challenging me to break past these silly self-imposed limitations that i have and to actively reach out to others, not out of obligation to Him, but rather out of an overflow of a Christlike love.

I wonder how tomorrow's tennis game (weather permitting) will go about considering that we have a grand total of two orphaned and neglected (i.e. abandoned by their previous owners and subsequently picked up by us) tennis balls and no more than that. Are we destined to spend more time picking up the two balls than actually hitting them?

I am aware that even during this period, i still need to exercise to help to clear my mind and to relax, or else may just burn out... But where is time to be found to swim/run/cycle? Looks like for now (apart from tomorrow) i will have to settle with climbing up and down the steps between the library and the co-op...

no more lessons

Rather an eventual last day of lessons had i today.

Somehow, stemming from yesterday's stay-back-after-school-to-study-for-a-while with Adrian, Melvin and Ming Jie, an impromptu and informal prayer session for one another and for anything else was organised this morning at the arts canteen. Since i have been there almost every morning by 830am anyway to do my quiet time and catch up on work before classes, it was no issue to go for the prayer.

And i was glad i did, cos it was a great time of sharing and prayer that we (Adrian, Daniel, Ming Jie n myself) had. Prayer really is a wonderful gift that we have been given by the Lord as a means of communication and hence building an even better relationship with Him, and even at the same time to edify one another in the Lord, while also building our own relationships with one another.

Had my final lecture after that, for the killer el module that i have grown to abhor more and mroe with each passing moment. Got back the last of the quiz results today, not good at all, though at least managed to pass. One thing that i was surprised with was that at least when i got the results back i didn't like wail inwardly or mumble and grumble or anything like that, i just more or less accepted it. Now, i honestly have to admit that i have little clue on how to prepare for this annoying module, and presently my CA grades are probably in the b-/c+ range. But also, somehow i have a strange sense of peace over this module. Very interesting... Definitely will be committing this to the Lord, and in faith see how He will lead the way.

Later i had my final tutorial, for another module which i am somewhat clueless as to how to handle the whole thing. Yup, my grades so far have been quite good, but so have everyone else's, and i don't really know how to gauge where i stand or what is really expected, cos the marking system is rather unconventional, to say the least... See how lah...

Then for dinner, the thursday cg people left for our long-awaited mala huoguo (China's answer to the sauna) nite at some place with an unreadable (by me) chinese name at Beach Road. $12 per pax, which is rather reasonable, considering the fact that they have a rather comprehensive spread for that amount. Of course, a sizeable portion of the food consisted of my uneatables, namely all the seafood. The good thing was that the sheer spiciness of the mala stock erased any lingering odour of seafood, so i had no issue whatsoever. Wah, and the stock was really something, after my first sip, it really felt as though i just had a novocaine injection. Power sia... (that being said, my peranakan tongue indicated to me that it still could have been hotter though, but out of deference to the less spice-tolerant people at the table, didn't ask for more chilli) [anyway doubt i'd be able to cross the language barrier anyway - "er, ke2 yi3 jia1 duo1 duo1 la4 jiao1 ma1?"]. Am so glad that i was smart enough to dress appropriately (i.e. t shirt and berms) cos methinks that if i was wearing anything more i'd appear as though i had just emerged fully-clothed out of a swimming pool.

Initially i was a leetle skeptical about tonite, but in the end i am really thankful for the whole night and the good time of fellowship and celebration (btw, Mei Si, my 'surprise' cake was really good - practically oozing from the centre with your favourite chocolate) we had. Very thankful for the whole thursday cg community, and am definitely looking forward to the next two thursday cg events coming up... Of course, there's the teeny matter of exams to clear before that...

First official pure day of mugging begins today!