this and that

In the mood for randomness so do bear with me...

Firstly, here's a couple of pics:


This was taken at last week's rooftop cg. We had a time of reflection on the sem past and then sharing with one another on those reflections. This is coming in very delayed, but well it took that reflection time for me to realize what a great blessing the cg has been for me not only this past sem, but ever since year one. Especially since i came back though. I guess that the fact that my sorta unique church situation has translated into a lack of any real permanence and rootedness for me with regards to church min at least up till this point has meant that the community that i've in cf and especially so in thursday cg becomes all the more important for me. Yup and if i've ever needed such a community before, i sure needed (and still need) it when i came back cos i was (and still am) rather disorientated and disjointed from S'pore and all the stuff that came along with it, and the cg has given back in ways that i never had fully appreciated (and perhaps still don't)... God's faithfulness to me through the cg has just been so wonderful - it's so humbling and tear-inducing come to think of it...


Um, ok so this is on a totally different subject - was just walking along engin bridge (btw engin bridge seems to be some kind of biodiverse hotspot by nus standards since on top of these cats i also found the giant spider - which is still there btw - over there) the other day when i came across this cat and its three kittens - and it was so cool cos although these are probably just common stray/feral cats it at that moment felt as though i was on some Serengeti expedition and before me was some rare species of small wild feline. So of course out came my camera and voila... Reminded me a bit of my UNC days when the mere sight of a squirrel would coax my camera out before i could say, erm well, "squirrel!". That of course was until i realized that there were squirrels everywhere over in the US, compared to S'pore when i spot one like once a year or so high up some tree... Not enough nuts in S'pore maybe...

As each day goes by, i've become more and more keen on staying on campus next year. It's a combination methinks of being spoilt last sem at UNC when both classes and downtown were a two-minute walk away from my room; honours year coming up which promises to be really busy, and tv mobile getting increasingly on my nerves by the second. Things should work out eventually i hope - nearly screwed up my application cos i keyed in an invalid email address - maybe it's a freudian slip that i attached my nus userid to the usual UNC email. Thankfully the relevant people got back to me so was able to rectify that...

I don't recall having started on revision proper more than a week before my first paper ever before. Somehow i ended up choosing classes that have their deadlines rather early, so actually had nothing else school-related to do but revise from as early as Wed (which i did, and am doing, but very slowly - but hey it's a start right...) That being said, as i've expressed to some random people, i'm prepared to see my grades drop somewhat this sem owing to various complicated reasons, but i know that whatever happens the Lord has been ever-faithful - and i'm thankful no matter what lah (Job 1:21 - "Blessed be Your Name" - comes to mind but i'd hardly think that in Job's situation i'd be as unflinching - was already sad when i lost my old nalgene...)

Will it stop raining here everyday already?

It seems that facebook is starting to catch on here eh - seems really different though from the good old days, so to speak, when i was still over there. And it makes me more sentimental for how things were like last time in a way - for me the primary reason why i have fb (and aim too, for that matter) when i eschew just about everything else is that it helps me to keep in touch with friends outside of S'pore, especially those back at Carolina... But, still i suppose that at the end of the day; plus ça change, c’est la même chose, n'est ce pas?

recovering

actually wanted a much more catchy title than the above, wanted to find something that rhymes with the word "virus" and that makes some sense, but alas all the words that come to mind are totally unsuitable ones like walrus, platypus, stylus, prospectus, Billy Ray Cyrus (the achy breaky heart guy), cirrus, stratus, cumulo-nimbus...

but in any case, and as i am sure you can guess, i am more or less rid of that awful viral cough that has plagued me like, well, the plague for the past two weeks... Thank God for His healing, it has certainly been the worst cough that i've ever had, and has had quite a sapping effect on me for quite some time...

to celebrate the occasion, i ate post honey roasted honey bunches of oats topped with yoghurt and gong1 bao4 ji1 ding1, complete with all those sliced dried chillies that i love to suck all the heat out of *slurp*

today was the most productive day in terms of schoolwork that i've had, possibly in the whole sem so far, more than 100 pages of a dry history text from 2pm to 945pm, though there's still much room for improvement (as well as lots of work to do in order to improve)

have been taken by the book of Job over the past few days during quiet time, this passage, among others, in particular:

Job 19:25-26
I know that my Redeemer lives,
and that in the end He will stand upon the earth.
And after my skin has been destroyed,
yet in my flesh I will see God;

ok must admit that perhaps i wouldn't have been so taken by this passage if it had not been adapted into a song... Anyway, think that it's so wonderful to see how Job can declare firmly, inspite of al the affliction that he is undergoing, that his Redeemer, God Himself, is a living God, who is from everlasting to everlasting. Even upon his eventual passing, he can still claim in faith that he will see God with his own eyes. Just felt so challenged as i was reading this passage, reminded me once again of my own inadequacies in terms of faith in our unchanging great God... Thank You God for how Your word is always fresh and relevant =)

so i went after all

After some consideration, i realised that i didn't feel that tired or in need of major rest on the following day after MEET camp after all, so i decided to go for IBS in the end (anyway Jasmine called me up the night before for IBS business, and when she asked me i said that i would be going, so i had to honour my word, as unclearly thought of as it was when i uttered it...)

But in the end i am glad that i went. Recently i've become more and more interested in the epistles and their historical context (that's the history student in me for you), and the IBS on Paul's pastoral epistle to Titus really hit the nail on the head as far as that was concerned. And on top of that, there were so many new insights that i got out of these past two days. For example in terms of looking at the literary style and context (the only form of lit that i would happily be interested in at this point in time), asking pertinent questions that help to deepen the understanding of the seemingly simple and straightforward passage, and how to apply what the Lord has provided in His Word into our own lives, for His Word acts as a guide to us on how we ought to live our lives as followers of Christ.

I also must say that i was much more awake and alert this year than i was last year. Dunno why, especially considering that i had far more on my plate prior to this year's IBS than last year's. Maybe Ephesians 1:17-18, the passage that Peggy, our trainer, shared with us and that we subsequently prayed with had some effect... Of course, the fact is that the whole thingy was very interesting, so maybe that's why. Peggy really helped to make things come alive, especially for a book like Titus that on the surface may seem to be rather simple, but actually upon the use of IBS tools, has a lot to offer.

Two side notes:

my seat in the room where the epistles IBS was conducted directly faced the corridor leading to the washrooms, and i have lost count of the number of people who, upon walking out of the washrooms, saw me through the window and waved hi with varying degrees of lunacy (with the trio of Sharon Liu, Mei Si and Fern at one end of the scale - guess which one btw...)

there was an overwhelming amount of snacks of the junk variety on offer during these two days - bagfuls of sweets, rice crackers, those dried fish strips that look like they could line the Christ Child's cradle in an edible nativity scene (i.e. they look like hay), cheese rings, popcorn, gingerbread... If i don't get high blood sugar from the sheer number of sweets that i ate, then at least i'll get a bad throat from all the dry and heaty snacks... (i have come to realise that as long as there's food in front of me, i'll eat it, whether i'm hungry or not, so now i try my best to push all food out of my reach)

My module bidding isn't off to the best of starts. First due partially to time constraints during the period of the open bidding window, i wasted round zero. Then my history modules, which up to this point i had always thought would be free for my taking, at one point each, proved me wrong, as i had to pay hundreds for one, and got outbidded for another. Now i have to try and secure one more history module from somewhere, on top of not being entirely sure about whether to do breadth/ss and all that nonsense. To make matters worse, many of the history exams of the modules that i am able to do fall within a window of three or so days, which basically means that i have to either cram my desired modules' exams together, or forsake some of my desired modules. The rest have May exams, which for me are totally out-of-the-question unless absolutely necessary...

Well, for some consolation, i stopped by ntuc on the way home and found to my pleasant surprise that post cereals are on sale again at $4.95 per box. Just in case the offer doesn't extend into the new year, i bought one box each of blueberry morning and honey roasted honey bunches of oats, to complement the still-unopened honey bunches of oats with strawberries that i have from the last cereal sale. I feel like i'm a chipmunk hoarding nuts for winter... [to my horror, ntuc had decided to start playing dreaded cny music, even before the end of the christmas period proper - i cringed my way through the incessant aural bashing that was the ding de dong dong qiang dong qiang blah blah ji bai nian song as i was getting the cereal, and later as i walked home, cos the stupid song would not get out of my head.]

report book

From the time i woke up today till eleven am sharp when i pressed the ENTER key on my keyboard i was one distracted being...

7:10am: Half-awake me wonders why i bother to set an alarm in the first place when i know that i will just switch it off and go back to sleep again. However, half-awake me also notes that it is less than four hours till results come in.

7:40am: Finally pull self out of bed. While brushing teeth, think of the results of only slightly more than three hours away.

8:00am: While doing quiet time, can't help but have the thought of results at the back of mind.

8:30-10:30am: While having little success in trying to memorise 2 Corinthians 5 by MEET camp and doing other stuff as well, am having much greater success in distracting self to no end with thoughts of results and the inevitable "what ifs".

10:58am: Tried to see if could get results two minutes earlier. Not successful.

10:59am: Tried to see if could get results one minute earlier. Same outcome.

11:00am: Finally it came...

And once again my silly fears and what ifs proved totally unfounded and unwarranted...

Although I had a certain peace at the time of the exams knowing that my focus was certainly more upon Him than it had been the previous sem, which meant that i saw going for morning prayer and evening worship and other so-called Christian activities as of being of no detriment to my studying, but rather as helping me to maintain the right focus, the skeptic in me was still a little worried come results time, particularly for the silly el module. I tell you, even though I eventually came out of the paper trusting that the Lord would see me through it, silly thoughts still drifted in my mind even till this morning as to what might happen if i actually did fail: drop in cap, some unhappy people knocking at my door making my future uncertain, that sort of thing...

So all this being said, i am so humbled once again to see that the Lord has blessed me with a B, cos the whole sem i was thinking that it could be much worse than that...

Two lessons learnt: One, to be very careful when picking el modules, and to try to do at least one of them on sep should i be going, so that i can s/u it, cos el modules are, at least for me, really very hard... Two, TRUST GOD!

For the results overall, am truly thankful as well.

cap score managed to rise a leetle bit, my long-term aim is to stay within the second-upper range (first class is really waaaaayyyyy up there in the strato-nimbus or whatever you call those high high clouds)...

and finally i can say that i am comfortable with being a history major, after a long struggle in my mind starting from the first sem, when i wondered if my B- for hist in a sea of distinction grades for my other exposures was a sign that i ought to reconsider my major, to now, when my hist cap has finally surpassed my general cap...

a couple of regrets, but no point in moping and dwelling on all this...

i must admit, am still am quite preoccupied with grades, but i do believe that it is a struggle that is under control, by God's grace...

Well, part of the reason why i was so eager to check my results was because i also was due to meet my AnnTIC group, Zechariah, for lunch at 1130. Good thing that the bus came at the appropriate moment and that my house is near town (hear that all you ignorant non-easties who think that my house is ulu) so i was able to reach raffles place mrt on time...

We ate at Carl's Jr [my new favourite fast food available in Singapore (some of the stuff i have eaten in the states is still better - but this is S'pore lah, what to expect...)]! Great to meet up with some of the group again and to catch up over good and filling food (quite happy with self that managed to finish a super star + beef chilli cheese fries) (am gunning for the portobello mushroom burger next *drools*)

I wonder if a video of the *wo yong wo de jian lai ca ni* thingy actually exists... As much as i'd hate to admit it, i actually wouldn't mind taking a look, to see how siao i was on that day (blame it on the lack of sleep)

Had to find a way to kill time between lunch and watching acjc choir carolling at 6ish, so tagged along with Lester and Linus in their Christmas shopping (something that i myself have an excuse not to do since i won't be seeing most possible recipients of gifts during Christmas anyway...) Picked up a bit of stuff along the way...

I realise that even after so many years, i can still more or less remember my parts for the carolling songs. Was good to catch the choir in action again, especially where carols are concerned, have some great memories of carolling experiences with the choir...

Dinner and talking with Denise and Yuemin followed. Once again great to catch up, i definitely feel that i have been spending too little time with some of my friends as of late... Hmm i shan't elaborate...

2 Corinthians 5 is one tough passage to memorise...

AnnTIC '05

Okies i'd better note down my memories and reflections of the above mentioned before the barrage of December stuff overwhelms me and i forget certain stuff that i don't want to forget. And since blogging provides an easy-access means for me to do so, so i shall. If you (i.e. not me) want to read my long-winded and random musings, please do feel free to do so, but just be prepared for (what i predict to be) a largely disjointed and anyhow narrative sans any real flow whatsoever.

This year's theme was "Faith in an Unchanging Great God", with teachings by Dr Lee Soo Ann based upon Daniel 1-6. The style of the theme talks this year was vastly different from that used in last year's AnnTIC by Dr and Mrs Harley but nevertheless they were very interesting and though-provoking insights into these six chapters and what can be taken out of them.

Was reminded once again about how faithful the Lord has been, even as we looked at the example of Daniel and his three friends Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah (whose Babylonian names Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego roll much easier off the tongue but are rooted in Babylonian paganism hence my preference for the former - i vaguely recall a Sunday school song referring to the latter three by these names, regarding their experience in the fiery furnace), whose faith and resolve in the Lord remained unshaken in spite of the threat of death. In response to this, we see that the Lord in His sovereignty and faithfulness intervened in the interests of their safety.

What basically strikes me is how God's faithfulness was readily apparent to them upon their own display of ultimate trust in God. This in contrast to myself, who have, at several instances seen God's faithfulness in my life in spite of my own unfaithfulness towards Him. It is indeed a very humbling thought. This morning, as i woke up from my 12-hour-long sleep (more on that later), and as i did my quiet time, i remembered that it was exactly four years ago today that i enlisted in the army. I recalled how at that time i was absolutely dreading the time that lay ahead. At the same time, i think my relationship with God was then strictly on a so-what-can-You-do-for-me basis... Yet, in spite of that negative attitude that i took, the Lord saw me through the whole experience (including two near-drownings and many other bad experiences)... Then came the past year-and-a-half at NUS, where similarly, the Lord has been so faithful to me, even in the light of all my shortcomings...

Ah well... Anyway, apart from the theme talks themselves, have much more to muse about regarding the camp...

I had gone to the camp with a rather joyous demeanour, mainly because this was the first cf camp that i would be attending strictly in the capacity as a participant (i.e. no appointments to hold). Therefore i thought that there would be ample time for me to relax...

Well, in the end, while i did get to relax a bit (which was mainly through exercise such as frisbee/captain's ball/running - in other words no slacking involved), was still largely occupied with other stuff during whatever free time there was, such as prep for MEET (which is still ongoing as i type) and talking to and sharing with various people... But anyway, it's not as if i had no time on my hands, for as Taiyu put it "the only person with no time is a dead person".

When i first saw and observed the groupings for the camp, i was admittedly a little disappointed because there were very little people i knew in it (and i thought that i knew quite a few people in cf as it was), and furthermore, i was the only person currently from arts, which i thought would have been an impossibility since there were close to thirty (methinks) people from arts at the camp.

In the end, things turned out totally in the other way from what i had unfoundedly feared it would have been. Lester was a great group leader, and i have been greatly encouraged by his faith in the Lord. Yizhuang was similarly a great Bible study leader, bringing his own unique insights into the pasages, and challenging us on issues pertinent to our faith. Xiu Ting was another person who encouraged me with her love for the Lord. Pei Fen was a friendly breath of fresh air, bringing us new perspectives, coming from a different school and a different country. Deyao not only provided comic relief, but also brought up very important ideas and issues in our studies. Joseph helped to provide very grounded insights into the Word. Lastly [but not leastly(?)], Joanne and Kok Soon (better known as Kelvin Tan) drew from their wealth of experiences in cf ministry to bless us with. The times of sharing and Bible study and meals together (and praying for no fats and calories) that we had were times that i was greatly blessed by. And on top of all this, of course, the friendship of all is most treasured =)

I also had the great experience of co-leading worship together with Ming Hui on the last night. Now, in faith i had indicated my interest to serve as a worship leader on the online registration form because i felt that the Lord was prompting me to do so, and also because i realised how hard it can be on the comm member in charge to get people to help lead and play for worship after having that experience at this year's FOC. I didn't really know what to expect beyond that.

Then, just around a month ago, Ming Hui came up to me, somewhat on a whim methinks, and asked if i wanted to co-lead with him. I thought that it was a cool idea (the Barker boys work together - *coolness*) so i agreed. Over the course of the next month we toyed around with ideas (not-sung-for-a-long-time-since-the-hillsongs/planetshakers-era-came kind of songs, a medley of praise songs in E, whether to sing 'in-house' songs? - that kinda thing), and prayed. This was the first tua zhong (sp?) worship session that i have led, and have only just realised the sheer amount of effort and prayer that is needed in preparation for it, with Christ still ever at the focus, of course...

Also, i realised the importance of humility, in the face of pride that can so often get into the picture, especially in this particular ministry, and push God out of the picture, which basically makes having worship pointless to begin with, for it becomes nothing more that a superficial, musical and lyrical means of self-glorification. I definitely was faced with this at several points in time, and it was only on the morning of the last day itself that i felt a certain peaceful assurance come upon me that the Lord would move mightily on that night's worship. I know that was at least in part because it was only then that i was able to let go of my own interests and to purely focus upon God, after much prayer. Of course, in my own sinful nature that still is a struggle that i face, but i believe that the important thing is that such issues are recognised whenever they come up, and immediately brought before the Lord, who will handle them in His own perfect time. So basically i am very thankful to the Lord for this experience, and also for Ming Hui, who helped to encourage me through it, along with others whom the Lord sent... "May i die to self, and live for You, who died and rose again."

Once again, sleep became an issue for me at this camp. I realise that my body has problems with new sleeping environments. Now, the ability to sleep on unfamiliar surfaces is not an issue - i have slept on desktops, cold aluminium floors of army boats, uncomfortable and rigid plastic packing boxes and wet shellscrapes, among others - but the problem is that i can't sleep on such surfaces for too long. So, during the camp (in spite of a vast improvement from the coolie hq that i slept in at last year's AnnTIC in Cameron Highlands), i would wake up every hour or so, particularly on the sweltering first two days before air-conditioning graced the room (which went on to cause me a dry and itchy throat for the rest of the camp), and be up by 630, at the latest. Of course, this helped me to wake up in time for the two 6am runs that i had with Qibin during the camp (need to exercise!), but also meant that i got precious little sleep during the camp, ranging from five hours on the first day, to just about two on the last. The thing was that i was never too sleepy during those times, methinks because of the camp-induced adrenalin rush that i always get (in all camps save for army camps haha - which have the opposite effect on me). Once i got home, this expired, and i promptly fell on my bed and slept from sevenish at night all the way to sevenish in the morning.

Food was another issue. While the food was generally good, the ingredients of the food sometimes saw me turning vegetarian. Specifically so whenever seafood was served. I have never eaten so much veggies and nothing else for a looong time...

I even had an interesting time on the way back. After picking up some secret recipe stuff in JB, took a lift right to my doorstep in Taiyu's car. Only thing was that the traffic all the way from city square in JB to the S'pore customs was extremely slow-moving. Thankfully there was the in-house entertainment of Taiyu, Weihao, Joel and Chris to see me through those incredibly long hours till i finally reached home at around fiveish.

I never realised that the words "ni yao wo yong wo de jian lai ca ni?" would cause so much amusement...

The AnnTIC comm did a great job, btw...

Edited to add in:

Some of the fruit of my brief time of personal reflection:

My name for God for this camp:
(know that this is rather duh considering that this was basically the theme of the camp in the first place but anyhoos) God who is faithful. For He has been faithful to me at all times, even when i have been utterly lacking in my own faith in Him and have fallen away.

My new name that "reflect(s) who we are (our identity) and our hopes":
(know that this is a really long name that even surpasses the length of my already-long name as in i/c - T** Q********, M****** L***) he who is continually being molded by God into His image. Linked to my name for God above, i've come to realise that though sometimes i may go wayward in my walk with God, He never discards this deformed piece of pottery but instead reshapes me and still continues to mold me more and more into His perfect image...

One new meaningful worship song that i learnt:
Ming Hui taught me this as we were prepping for worship, it is taken from 2 Chronicles 7:14 and Isaiah 6:5 (hooray for Biblically-based and theologically-sound songs!), so i suppose that the full lyrics can be placed here since i have no idea who actually pieced together this song.

Send Revival

We're looking to Your promise of old
That if we pray and humble ourselves
You will come and heal our land
You will come, You will come

We're looking to the promise You made
That if we turn and look to Your face
You will come, and heal our land
You will come, You will come to us

Lord send revival
Start with me
For I am one of unclean lips
And my eyes have seen the King
Your glory I have glimpsed
Send revival
Start with me

This song serves as a challenge to us all to look inwards and see in what ways we may still not be right before the Lord and subsequently lift this up in full to Him, for only then will He be able to, in His nature as God, accept our sacrifices of thanks and praise and work His marvellous deeds in our lives.

Another side note:
In co-leading worship and seeing all the rest of the campers singing heartfelt praises to the Lord in front of me, it just felt so amazing to be in the company of so many people united in love in the body of Christ in praise of our sovereign God and King. What a wonderful feeling. Yet at the same time a reminder to do our part, as He leads, to contribute towards the fulfillment of the vision that John received as described in Revelation 7 (mz: haha), to not isolate ourselves from the multitudes who up till now do not know of the saving grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. May we all do our part with God as our focus above all.

Less pertinent side note:
Somehow became embroiled in yet another string of relationship discussions, regarding the rate and state of attachments in cf. Now this took a particularly significant turn for yours truly since, thanks to the so-called informal relationship plenary sessions held on the last night, now a great deal more people know that the only attachments i have had up to this point have been, how do we say, of either the military or otherwise still non-relational variety, and so pressure is mounting, so to speak, specifically so from the, you guessed it, girls... Thank goodness for sane like-minded brothers (here in terms of views towards relationships, not in terms of walk with God) who agree and empathize with my own views regarding this... But anyways, talk about an evergreen topic, think this one will never leave cf conversation circles for a long time yet.

unfit!

What a cheery morning it was today, no need to wake up before seven am to prepare to go to school, now that the holidays are here.

(Of course, since i have been doing this almost without fail for every weekday for the past thirteen or so weeks and hence have more or less attuned my body to this schedule, i still ended up waking up at that unearthly hour this morning.)

But still, in spite of the early wake-up, the good weather still put me in a good mood. Was actually praying quite a bit for nice and rain-free weather today so that the captain's ball would go on smoothly, if not solely for the purpose of getting some much-needed exercise after getting as fit as an anti-fiddle (whatever it is) over the past few weeks of exams and prep. So was really pleased to look out of my east-facing window and actually see the sun for once, after so many weeks of cloudiness or raininess (don't get me wrong though, there's no morning weather i love more than one featuring precipitation of some degree - such great weather for sleeping-in, plus last time in army rain meant that exercise/ippt/battalion run/other unfavourable army activity would be cancelled).

After going to the library for a while to print out some stuff (cos my home printer kena power surge), i decided to take advantage of the relatively clear skies (a very rare occurence nowsaday) to go for a swim, and hopefully feel a bit more fiddle-like... Managed to complete forty laps, but could tell that my fitness level has gone down significantly even since ippt just under a month ago. Couldn't do too many laps at one go, and was panting after each series of laps... Anyways, was good to see some sun again, also doing laps provided the perfect repetitive activity to do while reciting 1 Corinthians 13, the MEET memory passage due tomorrow. "Love is patient *breathe*, love is kind *breathe*, it does not envy *breathe*..." you get the picture... (of course, once i exited the pool i forgot so many things already - methinks chlorine water does something for my memory power...

Following that was captain's ball, where my (lack of) fitness showed up again. Running up and down the court just knocked the wind out of me. I was showing my shack face constantly methinks... Anyways, was good to see some of the arts people after exams, and to just gather for a time of fun and fellowship. Had a really great (though also wheeze-filled) time, thank God for His provision of good weather and good conversations =)

Went to watch Rent just now, a rather impromptu affair with Jason and Renshao since ticket sales have not been too good. Was rather impressed by the vocal quality of most of the cast (hint hint). The story itself, well i shan't comment... Kallang Theatre really needs to be upgraded though. I could still bear with the poor aesthetic appearance of the place, which i guess is only to be expected given its age. But the sound system really was very crappy, in my opinion. A certain someone's (who does not belong to the most as mentioned above) voice, especially, came across as very muffled.

Aiyah, really should start looking at sep stuff (i can take comfort from the fact that neither Jason nor Renshao have done so as well), especially since AnnTIC is coming up, and will take away a good number of my free days. That being said, i am rather excited about AnnTIC, as well as about the many challenging yet cool stuff that awaits...

random resolutions

Why should resolutions only be confined to the starting of a new year (be it solar/lunar calendar or academic)? To that effect (yes i am aware that b'day is coming up but this has totally nothing to do with it), i hereby resolve to:

Start taking notes in some way, shape or form while i am doing quiet time.

Recently, especially since the study break started, the Lord has been speaking to me in such amazing ways through His Word that haven't been the case for such a sustained period of time (just around a week - very good by my standards) ever. Am very thankful for the fact that i have been able to take away something new and refreshing from His divine Word more or less every day that has definitely spoken to me deeply (this also accounts for my recent penchant for sharing Bible passages with various groups of people - the Sword of the Spirit is such an amazing and powerful tool *yay*).

Of course, this sudden accumulation of spiritual treasure means that i have had trouble retaining much of it, which is where the idea to start writing down how the Spirit speaks to me through His Word comes in. Definitely a good habit that i've always had a momentary thought of now and then to do but never got around to.

So what i have to do is first to get a notebook. Now, some of you may know that i am quite one for primness (such a word?) and propriety [am trying to make nouns from "prim and proper" here], which means that everything must be just right [latest manifestation of this streak: i forgot to bring my pencil case to school that day and consequently went to the co-op to buy a new blue highlighter (yup, second in a week) in lieu of the brand new one at home to use for my readings cos i just have to use the exact same colour on all my notes]. This therefore means that i have to make sure that everything is just right for the notebook. Right colour (blue - nothing else will do...), size, price... Furthermore, once i get the notebook, my writing format of the notebook must also be standardized throughout each and every day... All of this merely makes the job of starting to fulfil this resolution all the more ma fan (especially considering how lazy and procrastinating i tend to always be)

So to that effect, when you (whoever you are) next see me, please do remind/prod/provoke/force me to go about actually starting this little undertaking of mine, so that it won't merely be an empty committment.

Reformat my room.

This stems from playing tennis at Ming Hui's house that day, when we went up to his room. It's slightly smaller than mine, but the space available is just soooo much more than what i have. The arrangement of furniture allows for maximal utilization of space, and therefore maximal empty space.

Now, if you have ever visited my room, you will know what a mess it is. Random unmatching pieces left over from the previous occupant combine with my father's two filing cabinets that the rest of the tiny house has no more room for, a totally unused air bike that similarly has no other place to call home, a box big enough to fit two mini fridges that is a remnant of Feb last year when we moved in to the house (and that currently serves as storage for any random piece of rubbish that i can't find any other place for, as well as a makeshift clothes rack), and my innate untidiness to equate to a total wreck of a living space.

Inspired by his room, i therefore hope to do some tidying up and furniture rearrangement in my room once time permits (which judging from my predicted schedule for the upcoming months, will fall somewhere around the start of the long break once year 2 ends...), so as to create more breathing space in this fire trap of mine. Already have ideas filling my head regarding how to go about doing this... Methinks i shall pay a visit to Ikea one of these days and see what i could get to replace some of this aging, cruddy furniture (but only once bus pass is restored though - which means next sem...)... Hmmm, judging from the rate that i am going, i won't be surprised if by the time this resolution is fulfilled my father gets posted somewhere else and we have to move again *bleah*.

Be outreach-minded.

Over the past month or so (and more so since we started having those very fruitful 9am morning prayer thingys at the arts canteen), God has, in several ways, been reminding me of my lack of action in terms of reaching out to others for Christ. Of course, there's MEET and all, but methinks that somehow i may have unconciously/subconciously been using that as a convenient excuse to, erm, excuse myself from doing so even here and now.

So now i am reminded of my grandfather, who i have taken for granted so much, since my family is otherwise more or less "fully Christian" in that sense, and who still has not come to accept Christ after 87 years. Also of my (maybe i have been neglecting building up relationships with them as of late) pre-believer friends (who don't even number much) or those of whom i am totally unaware of where they stand with the Lord at this point in time, especially those whom i have more or less broken off contact with and now wonder what might have been had i been obedient to the Lord's call back then. Even of the many pre-believers around me whom i have, up to this point never even had the thought of reaching out to through opportunities that the Lord has provided.

It is vital that comfort zones, which exist in terms of language, culture, friendship circles, time etc are exited from in this process. He does not require anything more from us than obedience to Him springing out of a deep love for Him that comes out of His initial great love for each and every one of us. So this is my prayer, that the Lord will cause this Christlike love to overflow from me, and that i will be sensitive to discern the opportunities that i know He will provide and take ownership of them as the Spirit leads.

Of course, i have many other things that i resolve to do [like pick up guitar, re-pick up and improve keyboards, learn Tagalog, re-learn and be fairly competent in French, finally get started on (let alone get) my driving license. get down to applying for SEP, run/swim/cycle/other exercise apart from soccer or badminton on a regular basis, and the list goes on...] but if i were to go on and on regarding all these my exam prep would just go down the drain, so for now, these three shall suffice...

mid-week mugging musings

Yet another cool day today (not literally though)

Today's morning prayer boasted a 250% increase in attendance from the previous day (4 to 10)! We had a good time of impromptu praise and worship, featuring several 'morning' songs including this one, which i haven't sung for eons:

I Will Praise You Lord

I will awaken the dawning
I will arise and sing
The fruit of my lips is the sacrifice that I bring (Hebrews 13:15)

Father, my heart is faithful
I will sing praises to Thee
Great is thy faithfulness
Great is thy mercy to me

And I will praise You Lord
Praise You forever and ever
I will praise You Lord
Praise you forevermore
I will praise You Lord
Praise You forever and ever
I will praise You Lord

(paiseh couldn't find this anywhere online, so this is from memory)

Once again, a simple song whose lyrics nevertheless speak volumes if we mean them when we sing...

Getting back to the prayer, yup, once again it was great to start off the mugging day in a time of communion with the Lord together with others who are, to put it rather crudely, all in the same boat...

Later on there was exam tea yet again, and the Lord was once again gracious in His provision of people to, in the midst of eating, just talk to about anythin under the sun, including, of course, Christianity =) I myself only talked to two people, since i was a bit busy with the prep and had no one else to really have the opportunity to talk to. One of them was a Filipino girl, to whom i proceeded to pour out my Chilipino blues to, and the other was my namesake, who also happens to be Jeremy Koh's cousin...

After dinner we had a time of simple sunset worship, which was beautiful in its simplicity, through which i could still feel the ministering of the Spirit so strongly through the songs. Look forward to the next one...

Now, i suppose that one may remark that i haven't really been doing that much revision, judging from all the other stuff that has been going on. Shouldn't i be piah-ing full steam ahead for the upcoming papers? I dunno lah, but somehow, i feel a sense of what i believe is His peace upon me over the past few days, assuring me that studies and grades are not everything, and that while of course they still are important in that this is where the Lord has placed me, yet He is pleased by the other stuff that has been going on. I definitely believe that He will see all of us through this period as we are obedient to His call in whatever area...

This short passage that i came across during my quiet time now comes to mind somehow...

Jeremiah 9:23-24

This is what the Lord says:
"Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom
or the strong man boast of his strength
or the rich man boast of his riches,
but let him who boasts boast about this:
that he understands and knows me,
that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness,
justice and righteousness on earth,
for in these I delight,"
declares the Lord.

how toot can i get?

After months and months on end of lamenting to everyone in sight (and some out of sight too) that i was faced with the sad reality of having exams that begin on the first (18th Nov) and end on the last (1 Dec) day of arts fac exams, just now while compiling my exam timetable i realised that ultra-toot me had been misleading myself the entire time, and that my papers do not cover such a long duration after all.

Of course, the sad part is that the part i got wrong was the starting date, and not the ending date, which means that i still suffer the sad reality of being one of the last few left piah-ing in the library (either central or marine parade) all the way to the end. I have the added depressing news that my first paper is on my birthday, and it's for something that i know nuts about (am still procrastinating watching the last four or so webcast lectures that i skipped out of laziness of going to science) [but of course it's s/u-ed, so maybe not so bad...]

Oh well, for posterity's sake, here's my much complained-about timetable:
Intro to computing: MONDAY, 21 NOV 2005 (MORNING)
Intro to SEA Hist: WEDNESDAY, 23 NOV 2005 (AFTERNOON)
EL 2101 (killer!): SATURDAY, 26 NOV 2005 (AFTERNOON)
Asian American Hist: TUESDAY, 29 NOV 2005 (AFTERNOON)
Thai Hist: THURSDAY, 01 DEC 2005 (AFTERNOON)

At least there are long breaks in between each paper, which just means more opportunities to stone away...

Then there's the added issue of ippt, which i am taking in just over 30 hours time... Went to look at the requirements for passing again and suddenly it looked very do-able. Only need to do 6 pull-ups and jump 216cm, and a pass is quite achievable. On the other hand, however, i haven't done at least 6 pull-ups and jumped at least 216cm since ORD more than a year ago...

On the plus side, today i was very blessed and encouraged by the sharing of a Thai pastor, Thanit, whom the Thailand MEET team interviewed at SBC for part of our assignment for the next meeting. It's times like this when i realise how the Lord has blessed us Christians here in S'pore so tremendously, and by inference how much is expected from us (Matt 25:29)

Also, after that, we went to Island Creamery to indulge just that little bit. My first time eating the ice cream there and definitely not my last *licks lips*, though i would hesitate to try the tiger beer sorbet though...

And of course, there's the whole plethora of exciting stuff coming up once 1 December is long gone: MEET stuff, AnnTIC, Amazing Race (hopefully), meeting people, exercise free from the shackles of ippt *crosses fingers*, NO SCHOOL...