Cathartic randomness

hokays randomness awaits - am just killing time cos don't feel like sleeping yet but definitely don't feel like getting any work done either...

Crossroads - well after an initial total lack of interest in going i figured that i should go after all, not so much because i'm graduating (since i ain't) but really to get a little more in touch with VCF after being away for a sem, which if you haven't realized yet has made me feeling quite blur and detached whenever i've attended any VCF activities that entail participation from people outside my cg.

Well, i went and at the end of the day while i did become a tad bit less blur and feel less detached the blurness and detachment still remains so i guess that motive remained relatively unfulfilled. Didn't help that the same old issues kept on running through my mind which sort of made me somewhat off at times. But all that being said, Crossroads was great for me in other ways that i didn't really think about when i signed up such as getting a wider perspective of the implications of being a Christian teacher and principles and habits that would be very apt when observed both now and when i do graduate and start teaching eventually (which in retrospect was rather silly since these later issues are somewhat rather expected given the nature of Crossroads to begin with) And time spent alone with God while i was there was great too i guess, at times painful but still great at the end of the day...

Been affected greatly by noise pollution this past week in the form of excessively loud and annoying forum events and the usual peskiness that is tv mobile. Between seriously cannot-make-it bands that are unintentionally humorous, bizarre eating contests with bad food and worse hosts, and dancing demonstrations by weirdly and skimpily-attired people, the forum has proved to be a one times useless study venue this past week. And for tv mobile, if i hear "true colors" or "fly me to the moon" one more time, i almost will feel like i've no other choice but to make that tv mobile really mobile - by hurling the screen out of the bus window, that is...

One thing i'm thankful for is being blessed with nice people for the two project/discussion groups that i'm in - that makes the torture that is group work less tortuous. And also for the Lord preserving me through my first ever even week with full tutorial load, which sees me finishing fourteen of my sixteen hours of class that week by tuesday 6pm. Thas has also added more fuel to my tentative plan to try and get a room on campus next year cos methinks am getting too tired easily and old for having to spend two hours a day travelling to and from school when the time could be spent doing work instead (ok, more like sleeping lah =p) and i'll need all the time i can get if i'll be as busy as i think i'll be next sem...

Am still bummed over the fact that over this past week there has taken place at UNC: 1) snow; 2) two nights of Rent being performed by the US touring cast at Memorial Hall, of which student tickets were going at really good prices while i was there; 3) an awesome 105 - 64 Tar Heels victory over Miami of which i had won riser seats to but of course which i had to relinquish to Greg since there was no way i'd be able to use them for myself; 4) $1 biscuits at Bojangles since we crossed the 100 point barrier. Yup i guess i've reached the point of realization that i'll probably always miss the place and wish i was there to at least some degree for quite some time to come - especially when compared to the seemingly eternal sian-ness that i'm feeling back here - have to learn to deal with it and not get all mopey so frequently...

And i've also realized that i really appreciate and treasure it whenever people just ask me how i'm doing since i've been back, guess mainly since catharsis is very therapeutic for me in the sense of pulling me out of the partially self-imposed rut that i find myself in nowsaday... Yup so if you're reading this you know what to do, and i thank you in advance, for bearing with listening to stuff that is probably not very interesting to you in the first place - yeah it really does help...

later...