Got back yesterday from Vietnam - two weeks with random exco peeps, navigating our way from Saigon/HCMC up to Hanoi with various stops in between. Overall was a good time, goodness knows that i could do with an added holiday, even though it was not to a place where i conventionally would have chosen. In any case, the company elevates the enjoyment of a holiday from depending on the destination per se eh?
Well, maybe will talk more about Vietnam trip another time. What's on my mind now is the whole issue of graduation and how i'm going to handle it. So in short what happened is that results came out while we were in Vietnam (results that i was not really looking forward to as i guess many can gather). In preparation for whatever those results may have been i tried to spend time during qt/random times of stoning to talk to God specifically about it - even devoted a good one and a half hours or so walking up a good length of the main beach in Nha Trang and back doing just that. Well by the end of all that i thought that at least whatever the results would turn out to be, i'd be (eventually) ok with it. Which i guess is the case now when i write this in retrospect, more or less, at the least.
But at the time boy were they not. It hit me slowly, very slowly, in fact, at first. And then, as i began to think more about it, and realised how i came so close, and the simple action of using the s/u a bit more wisely alone, independent of scoring any better for any class, would have eliminated that 0.01 or so gap, i began to get real pissed - with myself and with the school. Of course, at the same time, what i had been pondering over previously helped to sober me a bit, although overall i was really super frustrated.
Although for much of the next two days i began to retreat into one of my pensive (and where i'm concerned, hence anti-social) moods, think that the Lord worked so wonderfully in timing this to take place in Vietnam and not back in S'pore. In short i was able to look around and see how i really have nothing to complain about, at least relatively speaking - a rehashing of the why (not) me thingy again. So now i'm not really too bothered about it anymore, although admittedly i'm using my time-honored strategy of avoidance to try and tackle the situation. Which is where the current resurfacing of all my thoughts on the matter at this present time comes in - don't want to elaborate here, at least not now - suffice to say that i've a lot more thinking and praying to do i guess. Motivations...
Showing posts with label seriousness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label seriousness. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Thursday, November 29, 2007
misquoting Esther
Anyways, i sure did spend a lot of time following this - having cable proved a boon cos i watched the election returns on the Australia Network - in some ways it was more exciting than election night here, just cos there actually was a competition going on... Am pleasantly pleased with the result - no surprise i'm not a fan of Howard anyways. Oh the perils of associating oneself with Bush...
I also was sad to hear of the deaths of the five national dragonboaters. It's so hard to believe that something like that could happen. At the same time though, i wonder how many people actually know that there was a sixth person killed during the same event as well, just that he happened to be a Cambodian. The local coverage of that was limited to one paragraph in the Straits Times, to the best of my knowledge (and forgive me if i'm wrong here) Although definitely five Singaporeans ought to receive the bulk of the local coverage, at the end of the day should we really forget that there was someone else who also died? Kinda reminds me of what happened in the wake of the Virginia Tech Incident - one country's own tragedy (and i'm not taking anything away from this) blots out everything else.
And lastly, ah so yet another coup thingy in the Philippines - sigh will these never end? I know that typical S'pore crisis mentality means that no one here would be too interested in going there now (or at least their parents would not be), but oh well, that's just part of life over there really... I'd personally still go there in a heartbeat, and anyways, if i perish, i perish :p
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Visit Philippines 2008
There's a histo paper due in just over a week's time which better judgement urges me to continue (though so far have just been doing some reading - no planning or writing) working on, but i've decided rather to ramble on a bit about other stuff and we'll see where this leads to...
Well i've been meaning to talk a bit about my recent trip back to the Philippines for like the longest time and then some right - well just the other day i heard about the bomb blast at Glorietta in Manila, and it troubled me quite a bit, cos especially ever since i came back from there i've been trying to push the Philippines (apart from Mindanao at least) as a safe and worthwile tourist destination, touting, among other things; the tight security at malls. Well, obviously that tight security still fell flat this time round.
Had taken a pic of the Atrium at Glorietta
(the mall complex where the blast happened) when i was there
Eh this picture really doesn't do the terraces justice, but it'll have to do for now
That actually was to me one of the main highlights of going back - the chance to go up to Ifugao Province and take in a bit of the scenery and all. My cousin put me in touch with a local pastor who is involved in work with many of the tribal people in the surrounding hills, and so he showed me around the terraces and put me up at his place for the night. What i was really blessed by though, was his sharing with me a bit about his ministry - stuff like Bible translation and hiking to various villages to screen the Jesus film, among other stuff. The stereotypical awareness of how much i'd taken things for granted in S'pore hit me - yup and to that end this song came to mind (taken from here btw - and since it's more than 100 years old i shall assume am not infringing on copyright restrictions by putting the lyrics here - is that the way it works?):
So anyways, this aspect of ministry really got me thinking about stuff - and i'd like to think that this is something that i would be open to doing if the Lord ever calls me to it (although there'll be a great deal of language-learning to do first haha). Pastor Ardo did say that if things allow for it, maybe one day i could accompany him as he goes about one of his trips - that got me excited (though of course it really is as the Lord leads la - dun want to go just because it sounds cool).
And of course, this aside, i'm really keen on going back real soon (maybe a grad trip? though i'd like to do this on top of another trip to another, more distant place) to hike around a bit of the rice terraces [the terraces i went to were the most accessible ones, and coincidentally (or not), also the least fascinating ones] - there's a far more ulu yet still nearby town called Batad with far nicer terraces along with other cool (literally) stuff like waterfalls and all which i'd like to hike to the next time. And maybe while i'm in the Philippines can see some other stuff like the Chocolate Hills (nope, sorry Debs, they're not made of real chocolate =p) and Yoda's close primate relative. And of course this whole post is so tourist brochure-y for a reason - am also advertising for any possible travel companions - do give it a thought ya =) I can settle most of the arrangements and also communicate with anyone who doesn't speak English with my (laughable) Tagalog (seriously, while i was there, everyone thought i was a local - and hence always talked to me in Tagalog - leaving me smile embarassingly and mutter whatever i could in reply - which usually amounted to "yes", "no" or "no more")... Anyways, if and when this happens, it'll be in May 2008 earliest so there's plenty of time to consider...
Let me know, salamat po ;)
Well i've been meaning to talk a bit about my recent trip back to the Philippines for like the longest time and then some right - well just the other day i heard about the bomb blast at Glorietta in Manila, and it troubled me quite a bit, cos especially ever since i came back from there i've been trying to push the Philippines (apart from Mindanao at least) as a safe and worthwile tourist destination, touting, among other things; the tight security at malls. Well, obviously that tight security still fell flat this time round.
Had taken a pic of the Atrium at Glorietta(the mall complex where the blast happened) when i was there
In any case though, i'd still say that a great deal of the security and safety concerns that many people have about traveling to the Philippines are stretching it a bit. Media reports tend to give the impression that the entire country is a no-go zone cos it's unsafe, but that's really not the case. The south - Mindanao island and all that's below it - yes perhaps the security situation there may be more questionable, since that's where the hive of seperatist/terrorist activity is (although even within the island there are places that are still relatively safe). But much of the rest is really pretty safe.
Ok, maybe after the latest blast Manila may not be everyone's favorite place to go to (and it was not really one of mine even before the blasts) but it does have good shopping (eh and yup i know that's exactly where the bomb hit) - but seriously, the malls there are ginormous (if that word has been accepted into general parlance yet). And beyond Manila there's a lot worth seeing - i personally regretted spending so much time in the Metro Manila area (even though i was with relatives) and hence not seeing enough of the rice terraces to the north - and to that end a return trip in the near future is definitely a goal of mine.
Ok, maybe after the latest blast Manila may not be everyone's favorite place to go to (and it was not really one of mine even before the blasts) but it does have good shopping (eh and yup i know that's exactly where the bomb hit) - but seriously, the malls there are ginormous (if that word has been accepted into general parlance yet). And beyond Manila there's a lot worth seeing - i personally regretted spending so much time in the Metro Manila area (even though i was with relatives) and hence not seeing enough of the rice terraces to the north - and to that end a return trip in the near future is definitely a goal of mine.
Eh this picture really doesn't do the terraces justice, but it'll have to do for nowThat actually was to me one of the main highlights of going back - the chance to go up to Ifugao Province and take in a bit of the scenery and all. My cousin put me in touch with a local pastor who is involved in work with many of the tribal people in the surrounding hills, and so he showed me around the terraces and put me up at his place for the night. What i was really blessed by though, was his sharing with me a bit about his ministry - stuff like Bible translation and hiking to various villages to screen the Jesus film, among other stuff. The stereotypical awareness of how much i'd taken things for granted in S'pore hit me - yup and to that end this song came to mind (taken from here btw - and since it's more than 100 years old i shall assume am not infringing on copyright restrictions by putting the lyrics here - is that the way it works?):
-
- 'Tis the gift to be simple, 'tis the gift to be free,
- 'Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,
- And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
- 'Twill be in the valley of love and delight.
- When true simplicity is gain'd,
- To bow and to bend we shan't be asham'd,
- To turn, turn will be our delight,
- Till by turning, turning we come round right.
- 'Tis the gift to be simple, 'tis the gift to be free,
So anyways, this aspect of ministry really got me thinking about stuff - and i'd like to think that this is something that i would be open to doing if the Lord ever calls me to it (although there'll be a great deal of language-learning to do first haha). Pastor Ardo did say that if things allow for it, maybe one day i could accompany him as he goes about one of his trips - that got me excited (though of course it really is as the Lord leads la - dun want to go just because it sounds cool).
And of course, this aside, i'm really keen on going back real soon (maybe a grad trip? though i'd like to do this on top of another trip to another, more distant place) to hike around a bit of the rice terraces [the terraces i went to were the most accessible ones, and coincidentally (or not), also the least fascinating ones] - there's a far more ulu yet still nearby town called Batad with far nicer terraces along with other cool (literally) stuff like waterfalls and all which i'd like to hike to the next time. And maybe while i'm in the Philippines can see some other stuff like the Chocolate Hills (nope, sorry Debs, they're not made of real chocolate =p) and Yoda's close primate relative. And of course this whole post is so tourist brochure-y for a reason - am also advertising for any possible travel companions - do give it a thought ya =) I can settle most of the arrangements and also communicate with anyone who doesn't speak English with my (laughable) Tagalog (seriously, while i was there, everyone thought i was a local - and hence always talked to me in Tagalog - leaving me smile embarassingly and mutter whatever i could in reply - which usually amounted to "yes", "no" or "no more")... Anyways, if and when this happens, it'll be in May 2008 earliest so there's plenty of time to consider...
Let me know, salamat po ;)
Friday, October 19, 2007
ponderings from pgp
It's been a good three weeks now since i moved (booked?) in to pgp. So far it's not exactly worked out as how i'd expected - in the sense of how the time that would otherwise have been spent traveling to and from school from my house has now been put to use. Of course, what other way would i in theory intend to spend the two extra hours of free time than to do school stuff - i.e. readings, papers, tutorials etc? Instead, the reality so far has been largely one of spending more time sleeping and slacking in my pgp room (read: what i'm doing now) rather than doing exactly the same in my room in the house.
And the prevalent conditions actually favor me slacking off a bit, since my deadlines are relatively far away, and hence the panic syndrome that usually kicks in a couple of days before the papers are due has yet to appear. I'm really trying to reverse this apathy towards work though, so watch this space and hopefully the next time i appear (whenever that will be) at least the first paper will be close to done with.
One good thing that has come out of staying here though is that i've finally managed to find ample opportunities to run, something i maintain is absolutely lacking back at home. No more being confronted by traffic lights every what seems like thirty metres or so; or incessant noxious vehicle fumes; or intriguing bohemian types with remarkable hairstyles, creative body piercings, and eternally puffing on a ciggy.
So to that end since i've moved in i've run more times than i have over the entire holiday and the school term before moving in. Or around there, at least. This is not entirely in the interests of a healthy lifestyle though, as ippt is rearing its annoying ugly head again, and so i'm due for that in less than a month. This time i've really no lofty ambitions whatsoever. If i pass (sans $100), i'll already be happy, since i've been largely inactive for months on end prior to moving in. Hope to continue this after ippt too though. Supplemented by tennis at some point or other and maybe a swim (and on that note, the vegetarian stall lady in the arts canteen has for the past few weeks recognized me as the not-so-Chinese guy who cannot understand half the Mandarin she spouts out to me whenever i go to the stall, and hence will automatically switch to English whenever i appear; but this morning she went about the old routine of speaking to me in Mandarin again, and i was actually wondering if that was cos i've been out of the sun as of late and hence have been getting lighter and so am starting to look more Chinese again).
God's been speaking to me in various ways and more than usual this past week or two, glad for that - though there's quite a bit of stuff that requires some revamping though... However, my brain is incredibly slow when it comes to processing such thought, so hopefully things won't be so bad this time...
Make no mistake about it though - i'm at a loss - it's not an intentional delay, that's for sure.
And the prevalent conditions actually favor me slacking off a bit, since my deadlines are relatively far away, and hence the panic syndrome that usually kicks in a couple of days before the papers are due has yet to appear. I'm really trying to reverse this apathy towards work though, so watch this space and hopefully the next time i appear (whenever that will be) at least the first paper will be close to done with.
One good thing that has come out of staying here though is that i've finally managed to find ample opportunities to run, something i maintain is absolutely lacking back at home. No more being confronted by traffic lights every what seems like thirty metres or so; or incessant noxious vehicle fumes; or intriguing bohemian types with remarkable hairstyles, creative body piercings, and eternally puffing on a ciggy.
So to that end since i've moved in i've run more times than i have over the entire holiday and the school term before moving in. Or around there, at least. This is not entirely in the interests of a healthy lifestyle though, as ippt is rearing its annoying ugly head again, and so i'm due for that in less than a month. This time i've really no lofty ambitions whatsoever. If i pass (sans $100), i'll already be happy, since i've been largely inactive for months on end prior to moving in. Hope to continue this after ippt too though. Supplemented by tennis at some point or other and maybe a swim (and on that note, the vegetarian stall lady in the arts canteen has for the past few weeks recognized me as the not-so-Chinese guy who cannot understand half the Mandarin she spouts out to me whenever i go to the stall, and hence will automatically switch to English whenever i appear; but this morning she went about the old routine of speaking to me in Mandarin again, and i was actually wondering if that was cos i've been out of the sun as of late and hence have been getting lighter and so am starting to look more Chinese again).
God's been speaking to me in various ways and more than usual this past week or two, glad for that - though there's quite a bit of stuff that requires some revamping though... However, my brain is incredibly slow when it comes to processing such thought, so hopefully things won't be so bad this time...
Make no mistake about it though - i'm at a loss - it's not an intentional delay, that's for sure.
Monday, August 06, 2007
wax and wane
The combination of having a good Sunday nap of four and a half hours, downing a cup of tea after dinner, and ingesting three panadols with a non drowsy formula has meant that yours truly now sits here alert and wide awake - something that at this time is a real rarity. So i've decided to kill time for a bit, hopefully by doing something productive rather than killing it with inane banter... And to that end i just wrote a little facebook note - fyr:
So it's actually just over a year since i left for exchange at UNC - i can't believe how quickly it's approached - i've always been one for remembering mundane dates such as this but lo and behold, maybe it's cos i've been way too busy over the past couple of days; that only today i realized that hey, last year this time i already was in the States (Oregon, to be exact), holidaying for a bit before flying cross-country to begin fall '06 semester, which at the end of the day turned out to be one of the best experiences i could ever have hoped for...
Yeah, and i compare myself today with a year ago, and realize that much has changed - last year i was all set and raring to go, real psyched about the great time that lay ahead, the cool people i would meet, the fun experiences that i'd go through, the more welcoming weather, hey, even the interesting courses that i would end up taking. This year on the other hand i look at classes that i'm signed up for and i just sigh. The environment too is just a real bucket of cold water compared to what it was like in UNC (or maybe i'm just being sentimental here i dunno). I mean, we're talking Singapore here - how stimulating an environment could that ever be? Eek.
But i guess i've much to be thankful for, for even the opportunity to be able to escape from NUS for a bit, even if it just were for a semester, and the chance to go through something different, that most others back here don't have a chance to experience eh... Yup so even as i've been waxing sentimental over the time long gone at UNC and in the States as a whole, at least i've had something to wax over i guess...
I must say, i've really been complaining more than my fair share recently, and particularly so once i got back from the Philippines - mainly these are silent complaints heard only by me (and God) though... I dunno, the more i look at how things are panning out for me in this (academic) year ahead, the more i want to scream. It's a real complex mishmash of issues that i dun really want to begin to even touch upon too much here and now. 1 Timothy 6:6 talks about godliness with contentment being great gain (and i hope i'm not too out of context here). Well, by inference from this verse, i've no great gain cos at this point in time i seem to be lacking in both (they really do go hand in hand i suppose)... Ah well - this is a work in progress, that's all i can say...
So it's actually just over a year since i left for exchange at UNC - i can't believe how quickly it's approached - i've always been one for remembering mundane dates such as this but lo and behold, maybe it's cos i've been way too busy over the past couple of days; that only today i realized that hey, last year this time i already was in the States (Oregon, to be exact), holidaying for a bit before flying cross-country to begin fall '06 semester, which at the end of the day turned out to be one of the best experiences i could ever have hoped for...
Yeah, and i compare myself today with a year ago, and realize that much has changed - last year i was all set and raring to go, real psyched about the great time that lay ahead, the cool people i would meet, the fun experiences that i'd go through, the more welcoming weather, hey, even the interesting courses that i would end up taking. This year on the other hand i look at classes that i'm signed up for and i just sigh. The environment too is just a real bucket of cold water compared to what it was like in UNC (or maybe i'm just being sentimental here i dunno). I mean, we're talking Singapore here - how stimulating an environment could that ever be? Eek.
But i guess i've much to be thankful for, for even the opportunity to be able to escape from NUS for a bit, even if it just were for a semester, and the chance to go through something different, that most others back here don't have a chance to experience eh... Yup so even as i've been waxing sentimental over the time long gone at UNC and in the States as a whole, at least i've had something to wax over i guess...
I must say, i've really been complaining more than my fair share recently, and particularly so once i got back from the Philippines - mainly these are silent complaints heard only by me (and God) though... I dunno, the more i look at how things are panning out for me in this (academic) year ahead, the more i want to scream. It's a real complex mishmash of issues that i dun really want to begin to even touch upon too much here and now. 1 Timothy 6:6 talks about godliness with contentment being great gain (and i hope i'm not too out of context here). Well, by inference from this verse, i've no great gain cos at this point in time i seem to be lacking in both (they really do go hand in hand i suppose)... Ah well - this is a work in progress, that's all i can say...
Saturday, August 04, 2007
Revisiting Khao Lak
I've been meaning for a long time to talk a bit about my time in Thailand earlier in the break, and finally now provides the perfect brief repose between loads of stuff to do in order to write a bit yup so here goes...
Well just to clarify, while i did go up to Thailand, i did not step a single foot into Bangkok, a place that despite my more than two months in total spent in Thailand i have yet to really visit apart from Don Muang, and which i'm really in no hurry to visit either cos i'm not really a shopping person (or at least not there) and i'm not a fan of crowds or traffic too. And since those are the three things i immediately associate with Bangkok, there's no real reason for me to go there is there...
I also did not go to Phuket - while my flight did land there, upon landing Clement and i immediately went up to Khao Lak in Phang Nga province, about a 90 minute ride north of Phuket. Now, Khao Lak is far less of a tourist trap than Phuket will (hopefully) ever be, especially so in July, which is smack dab in the middle of the tourist off-season in Khao Lak; this suiting me and my aversion to huge crowds just fine.
Well, as you can see from the above picture, Khao Lak now has some form of a Tsunami evacuation system in place, and for good reason too. It was one of the worst-affected areas of the Thai Andaman coast during the Boxing Day Tsunami of 2004, with tourists and locals alike numbering in the thousands being killed, and is still in the process of recovery from that devastation really. As i was strolling along the beautiful expanse of beach, i came across several simple memorials to those whose lives were lost that day. And there are still several places in the area which have obviously not even been touched since the Tsunami hit - and hence they lie abandoned and overgrown with creepers.
Observe those waves (which look far tamer than they actually were). Now imagine wave upon wave countless times more powerful than those you see relentlessly pounding the coastline and all in its path. Can you? Well i could barely imagine it myself. But basically in considering that, i was reminded of the awesomeness of nature, and yet in fact that our God is the Lord and Master over it all. My room was facing the beach on the third floor, and Jeremy tells me that in fact the waves actually swept through the second floor, which is a good (but my estimation is bad) twenty meters above the sea level as i observed it. That's just mind-blowing man...
Well up till now recovery work has been steadily going on, and it appears as though within a year or two things should be back to the way that they were before. The human side of this tragedy did present itself to me, albeit in a truncated manner, during church on Sunday, which Jeremy brought us to. The female pastor was thanking a visiting mission team from NJ for coming and then she broke into tears, clearly deeply thankful for all the help that has poured in from abroad to the devastated Phang Nga area in the wake of the tsunami. That, i thought was part of the essence of being a Christian - to help out those in need, sharing the love of Christ as He once did and still does, be the recipients believers or otherwise, and all to His eternal glory...
Hmm now on to less weighty matters - i remember first tasting Thai-style ice cream during MEET last year, and i was hungry for more... Well, the perfect opportunity afforded itself on the first afternoon there when the ice cream man came by in his motorcycle. The beauty about this is that it's so simple - just Thai coconut/pandan/chocolate ice cream topping glutinous rice, peanuts and jelly - yet oh so delicious... And all that for just 10 Baht =)
I was also somewhat pleased with myself that my less-than-rudimentary command of Thai, almost totally acquired during MEET, did come in quite useful, especially when it came to ordering food (mee nam prik mai?). I always try not to draw too much attention to myself whenever i'm abroad, and speaking even a bit of Thai sure helps along that vein. It helped even more that i look more Thai than i ever did before for obvious reasons (or maybe not so much Thai as Muslim - that's what the immigration officer asked me...) so i could blend in a fair bit...
My (almost) life-long trepidation towards being bitten a leech, which has manifested itself ever since i watched Stand By Me, and which i had somehow escaped through two years of basically being at least knee-deep in water during NS, finally reached a head when we went to explore a local waterfall, which was a fairly long trek in to. By the time we made it back to the car, i had found a total of four leeches on my feet, with one of them (the one above) biting me for good measure. Um but obviously i wasn't too alarmed since i took the time to take a picture of it before it was plucked off. Heh well at least i can cross off getting bitten by a leech from my to-do list =p
So i've barely scratched the surface of what actually went on during this trip, and hence i've barely done it justice... But anyways i'm thankful for this trip for so many reasons - the friends, the sights (that's James Bond Island from The Man with the Golden Gun behind us btw), the food (phet mak mak) etc... And one other thing is that this trip was not of the usual touristy variety, but i got to see the social aspect of things there, for lack of a better term. The post-tsunami setting of the place somehow provided for me the perfect backdrop for a fruitful time spent with God, and i really dunno how to say more about it than that =)...
Well just to clarify, while i did go up to Thailand, i did not step a single foot into Bangkok, a place that despite my more than two months in total spent in Thailand i have yet to really visit apart from Don Muang, and which i'm really in no hurry to visit either cos i'm not really a shopping person (or at least not there) and i'm not a fan of crowds or traffic too. And since those are the three things i immediately associate with Bangkok, there's no real reason for me to go there is there...
I also did not go to Phuket - while my flight did land there, upon landing Clement and i immediately went up to Khao Lak in Phang Nga province, about a 90 minute ride north of Phuket. Now, Khao Lak is far less of a tourist trap than Phuket will (hopefully) ever be, especially so in July, which is smack dab in the middle of the tourist off-season in Khao Lak; this suiting me and my aversion to huge crowds just fine.
Well, as you can see from the above picture, Khao Lak now has some form of a Tsunami evacuation system in place, and for good reason too. It was one of the worst-affected areas of the Thai Andaman coast during the Boxing Day Tsunami of 2004, with tourists and locals alike numbering in the thousands being killed, and is still in the process of recovery from that devastation really. As i was strolling along the beautiful expanse of beach, i came across several simple memorials to those whose lives were lost that day. And there are still several places in the area which have obviously not even been touched since the Tsunami hit - and hence they lie abandoned and overgrown with creepers.
Observe those waves (which look far tamer than they actually were). Now imagine wave upon wave countless times more powerful than those you see relentlessly pounding the coastline and all in its path. Can you? Well i could barely imagine it myself. But basically in considering that, i was reminded of the awesomeness of nature, and yet in fact that our God is the Lord and Master over it all. My room was facing the beach on the third floor, and Jeremy tells me that in fact the waves actually swept through the second floor, which is a good (but my estimation is bad) twenty meters above the sea level as i observed it. That's just mind-blowing man...
Well up till now recovery work has been steadily going on, and it appears as though within a year or two things should be back to the way that they were before. The human side of this tragedy did present itself to me, albeit in a truncated manner, during church on Sunday, which Jeremy brought us to. The female pastor was thanking a visiting mission team from NJ for coming and then she broke into tears, clearly deeply thankful for all the help that has poured in from abroad to the devastated Phang Nga area in the wake of the tsunami. That, i thought was part of the essence of being a Christian - to help out those in need, sharing the love of Christ as He once did and still does, be the recipients believers or otherwise, and all to His eternal glory...
Hmm now on to less weighty matters - i remember first tasting Thai-style ice cream during MEET last year, and i was hungry for more... Well, the perfect opportunity afforded itself on the first afternoon there when the ice cream man came by in his motorcycle. The beauty about this is that it's so simple - just Thai coconut/pandan/chocolate ice cream topping glutinous rice, peanuts and jelly - yet oh so delicious... And all that for just 10 Baht =)I was also somewhat pleased with myself that my less-than-rudimentary command of Thai, almost totally acquired during MEET, did come in quite useful, especially when it came to ordering food (mee nam prik mai?). I always try not to draw too much attention to myself whenever i'm abroad, and speaking even a bit of Thai sure helps along that vein. It helped even more that i look more Thai than i ever did before for obvious reasons (or maybe not so much Thai as Muslim - that's what the immigration officer asked me...) so i could blend in a fair bit...
My (almost) life-long trepidation towards being bitten a leech, which has manifested itself ever since i watched Stand By Me, and which i had somehow escaped through two years of basically being at least knee-deep in water during NS, finally reached a head when we went to explore a local waterfall, which was a fairly long trek in to. By the time we made it back to the car, i had found a total of four leeches on my feet, with one of them (the one above) biting me for good measure. Um but obviously i wasn't too alarmed since i took the time to take a picture of it before it was plucked off. Heh well at least i can cross off getting bitten by a leech from my to-do list =p
So i've barely scratched the surface of what actually went on during this trip, and hence i've barely done it justice... But anyways i'm thankful for this trip for so many reasons - the friends, the sights (that's James Bond Island from The Man with the Golden Gun behind us btw), the food (phet mak mak) etc... And one other thing is that this trip was not of the usual touristy variety, but i got to see the social aspect of things there, for lack of a better term. The post-tsunami setting of the place somehow provided for me the perfect backdrop for a fruitful time spent with God, and i really dunno how to say more about it than that =)...
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
S'porean Wasp?
Last night i went for the second of three weddings i was invited for over the course of this week. This one was somewhat different since it was not a CF but rather an army affair. One of the fellow specs from my platoon in unit, to be exact. I got to see several people (including the groom, actually) for the first time since ord, which was quite cool. Apparently i look way different from a mere three years ago, since Hong Lee (the groom) gave me a weird stare and thought i was an intruder when i said hi initially, took him a couple of secs to realize who i actually was, which was quite farny...
The wedding itself was a great experience for me. For starters, it was the first non-Christian wedding i recall ever attending, so i found things quite different and unfamiliar. Furthermore, after three long years i was suddenly thrust back into a generally local mandarin/dialect speaking environment - apart from David, another spec at the table, everyone else was far more comfortable talking in the aforementioned languages. It made me recall how much people last time had to accommodate me language wise, since it was only then that i realized that the majority of Singapore does not speak English as the first language of choice, and therefore only then that i made a conscious attempt to try and better my command of Chinese languages (to little success, might i add)... Yeah so all in all it made me realize that my social circles still largely are of the Christian, English-speaking variety, which gave (and still is giving) me a lot to think about... (but then again, i'm not exactly of the elite, uncaring face variety so maybe that's a step in the right direction...)
Added to that was a simple question that Derrick, another spec, asked me while he was giving me a ride home. He asked me something to the effect of "eh Matthew, i noticed something. How come last time you never invited us to church?" Oh boy and if i could just describe the sheer impact of the figurative tonne of bricks that fell on me when he asked that... I didn't even know how to answer him.
Yup, a short three years ago i really was a totally bochap Christian who would not even consider inviting anyone to come to church. My involvement in spreading the Gospel at that time was strictly limited to the (and i hate this term) 'lifestyle' school. But then again people may have known i was a Christian then, but upon closer examination the 'Christian' nature of my lifestyle then came into serious question... A poor testimony. Something i'm definitely regretful about till today. Anyways, things may have changed somewhat since then, but still, i'm not too sure about inviting people down. The importance of sincerity, intentionality, and a Christlike love in so doing is really ringing across my mind now, three things sorely lacking in then. Yup anyways that was a very timely God-given wake-up call for me i must say...
It turns out that Bingo's little fit yesterday was not a once-off, as today the same thing happened yet again, albeit not as seriously as it did the first time. I'm starting to have serious doubts about his level of health, but as i've said previously, we'll just see what happens...
Packing has been going pretty well - today i doubled the amount i've packed. But then again, that equals to filling up the other half of the small box of files i started with like two weeks ago... At least i've more time to pack, since i just received word that we only can move in from the 15th onwards, which gives me one more week to settle stuff.
Think i've decided to forgo catching pirates 3, owing to both bad reviews and laziness... Well, i'm sure if and when pirates 4 comes out channel 5 will trot pirates 3 out as it's latest tv premiere blockbuster... So that still leaves me with only one movie caught this year... Heh.
Am starting to narrow down possible destinations for trip. Parents are going to HK, which i've chosen to avoid like the plague, so no go for that. Phuket/Khao Lak is a big possibility, but even if i go for that i've still some expiring miles that need to be used. Maybe Manila is an option... Ah well. A positive dilemma, i call it, so can't complain...
The wedding itself was a great experience for me. For starters, it was the first non-Christian wedding i recall ever attending, so i found things quite different and unfamiliar. Furthermore, after three long years i was suddenly thrust back into a generally local mandarin/dialect speaking environment - apart from David, another spec at the table, everyone else was far more comfortable talking in the aforementioned languages. It made me recall how much people last time had to accommodate me language wise, since it was only then that i realized that the majority of Singapore does not speak English as the first language of choice, and therefore only then that i made a conscious attempt to try and better my command of Chinese languages (to little success, might i add)... Yeah so all in all it made me realize that my social circles still largely are of the Christian, English-speaking variety, which gave (and still is giving) me a lot to think about... (but then again, i'm not exactly of the elite, uncaring face variety so maybe that's a step in the right direction...)
Added to that was a simple question that Derrick, another spec, asked me while he was giving me a ride home. He asked me something to the effect of "eh Matthew, i noticed something. How come last time you never invited us to church?" Oh boy and if i could just describe the sheer impact of the figurative tonne of bricks that fell on me when he asked that... I didn't even know how to answer him.
Yup, a short three years ago i really was a totally bochap Christian who would not even consider inviting anyone to come to church. My involvement in spreading the Gospel at that time was strictly limited to the (and i hate this term) 'lifestyle' school. But then again people may have known i was a Christian then, but upon closer examination the 'Christian' nature of my lifestyle then came into serious question... A poor testimony. Something i'm definitely regretful about till today. Anyways, things may have changed somewhat since then, but still, i'm not too sure about inviting people down. The importance of sincerity, intentionality, and a Christlike love in so doing is really ringing across my mind now, three things sorely lacking in then. Yup anyways that was a very timely God-given wake-up call for me i must say...
It turns out that Bingo's little fit yesterday was not a once-off, as today the same thing happened yet again, albeit not as seriously as it did the first time. I'm starting to have serious doubts about his level of health, but as i've said previously, we'll just see what happens...
Packing has been going pretty well - today i doubled the amount i've packed. But then again, that equals to filling up the other half of the small box of files i started with like two weeks ago... At least i've more time to pack, since i just received word that we only can move in from the 15th onwards, which gives me one more week to settle stuff.
Think i've decided to forgo catching pirates 3, owing to both bad reviews and laziness... Well, i'm sure if and when pirates 4 comes out channel 5 will trot pirates 3 out as it's latest tv premiere blockbuster... So that still leaves me with only one movie caught this year... Heh.
Am starting to narrow down possible destinations for trip. Parents are going to HK, which i've chosen to avoid like the plague, so no go for that. Phuket/Khao Lak is a big possibility, but even if i go for that i've still some expiring miles that need to be used. Maybe Manila is an option... Ah well. A positive dilemma, i call it, so can't complain...
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
CCC 101
Was watching a Frasier DVD just now over lunch when i heard a squeal coming from the dining room, where Bingo was loitering about. Figured that it was just one of his routine muscle-aching moments (at his age, they seem to come pretty regularly nowsaday, especially if he has just accidentally slipped or something), so i didn't give him much notice. But then he continued to squeal and squeal (usually it's just a once-off thing) so i went over to take a look at him. Turns out his right rear leg was probably seizing up for some reason or other (cramp, sprain etc...) and he was hobbling around the house and unable to even lie down, cos whenever he tried to do so, he'd just aggravate the pain and howl even more...
Eh so i really had no idea what to do as he went on like this for the next five minutes, beyond laying on of hands and prayer (seriously). He seriously looked to be in great agony, and i hadn't a clue as to what else to do. Heck, i didn't even have the number of a vet with me, nor could i bring him over to one since i can't drive.
Yup so as i was saying, the best i could do was pray that the pain would go away... And thankfully after five minutes or so he finally calmed down and appeared to be in less pain, another five minutes and he was lying down once again, as if nothing had happened...
In retrospect, i was somehow reminded of MEET and all that was said about effective communication and contextualization. Obviously my skills at canine communication and contextualization are sorely lacking, which turned out to Bingo's detriment since he could not convey to me what the problem was, nor could i try and massage his leg or do anything that in my eyes constituted as treatment as he would not understand that it would be for his own good and hence would probably try and bite me. Any desparate attempt at barking and head nudging on my part in order to let him know what i wanted to do would probably not be well-received by him at all...
And bringing this into a missions context, it reminds me of the futility of trying to share the Gospel to a foreign people group sans at least some knowledge of their language/culture etc since if i tried to do so my attempts would fall on deaf ears. I'd really have no other recourse than to pray for a direct revelation of the Gospel Message via the work of the HolySpirit. But the effective communication barrier would still be an issue whatever the case. Similarly, all i could really do for Bingo was to pray for the end to his pain by the grace of God as without proper communication, nothing else was a possibility. So when all things are considered, i guess my point is that ultimately our human efforts are finite, and it is God who is in control of everything... He succeeds where we fail, and the opposite is never true.
Hmm and where Bingo is concerned, i seriously dunno how things will be in the future, especially after we move and if he ends up still with us... Ah well, that's all in God's hands as well - we'll see what happens...
Yesterday we had a MEET Prathet Thai reunion thingy with Alan, Bessie and Hannah, with whom we spent a month with exactly a year ago. Went along with the previous team, like mine also amply stocked with thursday cg peeps. Anyways, it was great to catch up and remember some of the things we did back there. Haha those were some crazy times, but at the same time the lessons that i've learnt from way back then still have had an impact on where i am today by God's grace. It was really that trip that got me thinking that missions (on a longer short-term/long-term basis) is something that i'm actually open to, as the Lord leads, something cemented by my time at Urbana. Yup of course the mechanics and all of that stuff of it is still very very fuzzy (for starters the earliest i'd probably consider actually doing so would be after my bond is up - which is in 2013 so wait long long ah...) but well, if it's something the Lord wants of me i'm sure things will become clearer in His time... Dai mai? Dai!
All of us who were there yesterday - we ended up at Va Va Voom Vietnamese
Eh so i really had no idea what to do as he went on like this for the next five minutes, beyond laying on of hands and prayer (seriously). He seriously looked to be in great agony, and i hadn't a clue as to what else to do. Heck, i didn't even have the number of a vet with me, nor could i bring him over to one since i can't drive.
Yup so as i was saying, the best i could do was pray that the pain would go away... And thankfully after five minutes or so he finally calmed down and appeared to be in less pain, another five minutes and he was lying down once again, as if nothing had happened...
In retrospect, i was somehow reminded of MEET and all that was said about effective communication and contextualization. Obviously my skills at canine communication and contextualization are sorely lacking, which turned out to Bingo's detriment since he could not convey to me what the problem was, nor could i try and massage his leg or do anything that in my eyes constituted as treatment as he would not understand that it would be for his own good and hence would probably try and bite me. Any desparate attempt at barking and head nudging on my part in order to let him know what i wanted to do would probably not be well-received by him at all...
And bringing this into a missions context, it reminds me of the futility of trying to share the Gospel to a foreign people group sans at least some knowledge of their language/culture etc since if i tried to do so my attempts would fall on deaf ears. I'd really have no other recourse than to pray for a direct revelation of the Gospel Message via the work of the HolySpirit. But the effective communication barrier would still be an issue whatever the case. Similarly, all i could really do for Bingo was to pray for the end to his pain by the grace of God as without proper communication, nothing else was a possibility. So when all things are considered, i guess my point is that ultimately our human efforts are finite, and it is God who is in control of everything... He succeeds where we fail, and the opposite is never true.
Hmm and where Bingo is concerned, i seriously dunno how things will be in the future, especially after we move and if he ends up still with us... Ah well, that's all in God's hands as well - we'll see what happens...
Yesterday we had a MEET Prathet Thai reunion thingy with Alan, Bessie and Hannah, with whom we spent a month with exactly a year ago. Went along with the previous team, like mine also amply stocked with thursday cg peeps. Anyways, it was great to catch up and remember some of the things we did back there. Haha those were some crazy times, but at the same time the lessons that i've learnt from way back then still have had an impact on where i am today by God's grace. It was really that trip that got me thinking that missions (on a longer short-term/long-term basis) is something that i'm actually open to, as the Lord leads, something cemented by my time at Urbana. Yup of course the mechanics and all of that stuff of it is still very very fuzzy (for starters the earliest i'd probably consider actually doing so would be after my bond is up - which is in 2013 so wait long long ah...) but well, if it's something the Lord wants of me i'm sure things will become clearer in His time... Dai mai? Dai!
All of us who were there yesterday - we ended up at Va Va Voom VietnameseFriday, May 25, 2007
stocktaking
I'd been saying to people all the way from even the beginning of the past sem that i'd be prepared to see my cap drop significantly, since i predicted (all too correctly, might i add) that this sem right back from Carolina be a tough one.
Well, as they say, it's one thing to say such things, but another to actually see it for yourself.
Yup so my prediction came true, and this sem's results have been my worst ever - as a result i now am precariously situated a hair's breadth clear of slipping to second lower range.
But even as i did take in the full extent of the results and what they could possibly mean, i somehow felt that, even as i definitely fully deserved the grades i've gotten this time round, this was also the Lord's way of preparing me for the upcoming year - that in the midst of honors and possible thesis-writing and substantial commitments on the CF side - the only thing i can really bank upon is His presence beside me at all times, and it is upon the Lord alone that i can draw my strength to get through what is shaping up to be the most challenging (academic) year i'll have by far... Going out with a bang, so to speak...
At the same time, when i looked at the individual grades i received, actually there's a lot to be thankful for. Such as that my 15% D+ for one hist test got somehow evened out as the sem went on so that i managed to squeeze by with a B- overall, and the unexpectedly high grade for another hist class, undoubtedly buoyed by having a great project group to work with (and incidentally, i saw my prof for that class at holland v right after checking results)...
Oh, and my posting of grades here is definitely not for any purpose of self-promotion (there's little to promote in any case as far as they are concerned heh) but rather for people to note and remind me wherever necessary next year if i start to get obsessed with the magical number four again, to snap me back into reality, stop looking at grades and cap per se, and really to go back to God whatever happens, and especially what degree i graduate with in the first place...
And take this whatever way you want to, but don't you find it just a tad ironic that the same day that results come out we receive this email in our inbox?
Dear All,
Counselling Centre
University Health, Wellness and Counselling Centre
Well, as they say, it's one thing to say such things, but another to actually see it for yourself.
Yup so my prediction came true, and this sem's results have been my worst ever - as a result i now am precariously situated a hair's breadth clear of slipping to second lower range.
But even as i did take in the full extent of the results and what they could possibly mean, i somehow felt that, even as i definitely fully deserved the grades i've gotten this time round, this was also the Lord's way of preparing me for the upcoming year - that in the midst of honors and possible thesis-writing and substantial commitments on the CF side - the only thing i can really bank upon is His presence beside me at all times, and it is upon the Lord alone that i can draw my strength to get through what is shaping up to be the most challenging (academic) year i'll have by far... Going out with a bang, so to speak...
At the same time, when i looked at the individual grades i received, actually there's a lot to be thankful for. Such as that my 15% D+ for one hist test got somehow evened out as the sem went on so that i managed to squeeze by with a B- overall, and the unexpectedly high grade for another hist class, undoubtedly buoyed by having a great project group to work with (and incidentally, i saw my prof for that class at holland v right after checking results)...
Oh, and my posting of grades here is definitely not for any purpose of self-promotion (there's little to promote in any case as far as they are concerned heh) but rather for people to note and remind me wherever necessary next year if i start to get obsessed with the magical number four again, to snap me back into reality, stop looking at grades and cap per se, and really to go back to God whatever happens, and especially what degree i graduate with in the first place...
And take this whatever way you want to, but don't you find it just a tad ironic that the same day that results come out we receive this email in our inbox?
Dear All,
The Counselling Centre will be closed for a staff retreat on Monday, 28 May 2007.
In the event of a life threatening emergency, please call Lifeline NUS: 6516 7777.
We apologise for any inconvenience caused.
Regards,Counselling Centre
University Health, Wellness and Counselling Centre
Sunday, May 20, 2007
20160 minutes
Was just thinking that in the span of the past above mentioned period of time there's been a 180 degree turn in what i had intended for the upcoming year ministry wise. On the night of Sunday 6 May 2007 i don't actually recall what i was doing but i'm pretty sure it didn't involve any preoccupations with what the (academic) year ahead would bring. Yup for all intents and purposes, two weeks ago my last two sems at nus in terms of CF commitment at least would revolve solely around the informal, providing whatever insights and help a CF member with three years of CF experience (and a gem of a semester away on exchange) could as a (love the term, btw) supportive senior whenever such insights were called for. The more i thought of it, the more i relished the idea.
Then within the span of the past fourteen equatorial days worth of daylights, sunsets and midnights (and no cups of coffee thank you very much - some tea though, dunno about inches and miles, lots of laughter and a fair dose of strife the situation has changed so dramatically and suddenly all my dreams of a nice, easy and relaxed final year at NUS came to an abrupt halt. Looking back (and it only really hit me just now as i finally got to talk to someone about it) fwah the Lord has definitely shown me that He has other plans from what i would have liked to do, and indeed, this means that the concealed reservation that i held in my heart that my joy at being able to just sit one corner and shake leg next year was not joy at all but rather more of a self-centered glee was indeed a reality...
Yup this is perhaps an incomplete rambling, but well guess the moral of the story is that you never know what the Lord may have in store for you... Ultimately, however, we are to follow His call whatever it is - so keep on praying about it man...
In largely unrelated news, went for some ultimate with the All Saints people who meet every Sun (which reminds me, poor Suns - that rule stinks methinks...) apparently to play. Had a great time - i do miss the (relatively) vibrant ultimate culture back in UNC - i dare say after i've come back that i've been American-trained (though the result isn't much better i must admit =p) but anyways yup basically it was great. Wish we could have more of such thingies - but the (relative) lack of enthusiasm here (or at least in my circles) makes it hard...
Then within the span of the past fourteen equatorial days worth of daylights, sunsets and midnights (and no cups of coffee thank you very much - some tea though, dunno about inches and miles, lots of laughter and a fair dose of strife the situation has changed so dramatically and suddenly all my dreams of a nice, easy and relaxed final year at NUS came to an abrupt halt. Looking back (and it only really hit me just now as i finally got to talk to someone about it) fwah the Lord has definitely shown me that He has other plans from what i would have liked to do, and indeed, this means that the concealed reservation that i held in my heart that my joy at being able to just sit one corner and shake leg next year was not joy at all but rather more of a self-centered glee was indeed a reality...
Yup this is perhaps an incomplete rambling, but well guess the moral of the story is that you never know what the Lord may have in store for you... Ultimately, however, we are to follow His call whatever it is - so keep on praying about it man...
In largely unrelated news, went for some ultimate with the All Saints people who meet every Sun (which reminds me, poor Suns - that rule stinks methinks...) apparently to play. Had a great time - i do miss the (relatively) vibrant ultimate culture back in UNC - i dare say after i've come back that i've been American-trained (though the result isn't much better i must admit =p) but anyways yup basically it was great. Wish we could have more of such thingies - but the (relative) lack of enthusiasm here (or at least in my circles) makes it hard...
Sunday, April 22, 2007
awareness?
I was ruminating a bit upon the events of the past Monday and Tuesday and was somewhat troubled by that, and then we had prayer on Friday morning when Kumuthan brought up that very point that had been troubling me as he was praying. And think it bears mention here, so here goes (even if it's a couple of days late...)
Well, as you might have gathered, i felt rather affected by the VT shootings, which saw a total of 33 dead, on Mon; and more so than the average person here since i was, albeit only for a semester, a college student in the US myself. And then, i forget how, but anyways i came to hear about the series of bombings in Baghdad that happened soon after in which nearly 200 people lost their lives. And the very fact that i forgot how i learned about the latter incident suggests how relatively insignificant the news was compared to the VT massacre, at least as portrayed by the media. Also, the very fact that i'd to source for a link to the news of the bombings on wikipedia rather than on a news site suggests how quickly this tragedy has faded into the background, especially when compared to what happened at VT.
I definitely have no intention of taking anything away from what happened at Blacksburg - such a tragedy simply cannot be brushed over. Nor am i suggesting that comparing the number of fatalities should be a gauge of how 'serious' a tragedy is. No matter who and how many people die, the effect upon those concerned is still something no one would want to be put through. But why is it that we (myself included) pay so much attention to one event, when the other, which i'd argue deserves more than a mere mention, seems to have become a mere footnote in comparison to the former? The close to 200 people killed in Baghdad by Sunni extremists were no less deserving of a tribute to their tragic and unnecessary deaths than the 32 who lost their lives at the hands of a lone gunman. Is it because violence has become such a way of life in Iraq that the latest bombings serve as nothing more than an added chapter to the basket case that is what the 'American-liberated' Iraq has become, whereas in the states with such incidents being relatively few and far between any such occurrence deserves greater mention? Or is it because we can identify more closely with the victims of the VT massacre than we can with those in Iraq? Whatever it is, such reasonings really cannot hold water, and yet this is the sad reality that we are faced with.
Come to think of it, how much of the sufferings in the world are we aware of and are interceding over? The horrifying situation in Darfur comes to mind. I myself knew next-to-nothing about what has been going on over there until i was at UNC and there were some IV thingies going on to pray for what has been going on over there. In fact, at this point in time, i'll admit that i still know little about what has been going on. I'd like to attribute it solely to the lack of media coverage but it goes further than that - my own apathy. But just take a look - the estimated number who have died as a result of what has been going on over there ranges from 200000 to 450000. How can i, especially as a Christian who is constantly reminded of God's undeserving sacrificial love for all of us, and His call for us to love others as He has us, not bother about a situation of such magnitude at all?
It's a struggle, i'll give you that. I still struggle too. But i guess the point i'm getting at is that, no matter how hard the struggle is, we need to be more aware of the things that have been going on in this fallen world, and actively intercede for them. God has put us here for a reason - i'm always reminded and remind people of that. May we never become so cosy with where we are that we forget of those around us, be they nearer or further away, and the fact that we all are equally in need of His grace and mercy.
Well, as you might have gathered, i felt rather affected by the VT shootings, which saw a total of 33 dead, on Mon; and more so than the average person here since i was, albeit only for a semester, a college student in the US myself. And then, i forget how, but anyways i came to hear about the series of bombings in Baghdad that happened soon after in which nearly 200 people lost their lives. And the very fact that i forgot how i learned about the latter incident suggests how relatively insignificant the news was compared to the VT massacre, at least as portrayed by the media. Also, the very fact that i'd to source for a link to the news of the bombings on wikipedia rather than on a news site suggests how quickly this tragedy has faded into the background, especially when compared to what happened at VT.
I definitely have no intention of taking anything away from what happened at Blacksburg - such a tragedy simply cannot be brushed over. Nor am i suggesting that comparing the number of fatalities should be a gauge of how 'serious' a tragedy is. No matter who and how many people die, the effect upon those concerned is still something no one would want to be put through. But why is it that we (myself included) pay so much attention to one event, when the other, which i'd argue deserves more than a mere mention, seems to have become a mere footnote in comparison to the former? The close to 200 people killed in Baghdad by Sunni extremists were no less deserving of a tribute to their tragic and unnecessary deaths than the 32 who lost their lives at the hands of a lone gunman. Is it because violence has become such a way of life in Iraq that the latest bombings serve as nothing more than an added chapter to the basket case that is what the 'American-liberated' Iraq has become, whereas in the states with such incidents being relatively few and far between any such occurrence deserves greater mention? Or is it because we can identify more closely with the victims of the VT massacre than we can with those in Iraq? Whatever it is, such reasonings really cannot hold water, and yet this is the sad reality that we are faced with.
Come to think of it, how much of the sufferings in the world are we aware of and are interceding over? The horrifying situation in Darfur comes to mind. I myself knew next-to-nothing about what has been going on over there until i was at UNC and there were some IV thingies going on to pray for what has been going on over there. In fact, at this point in time, i'll admit that i still know little about what has been going on. I'd like to attribute it solely to the lack of media coverage but it goes further than that - my own apathy. But just take a look - the estimated number who have died as a result of what has been going on over there ranges from 200000 to 450000. How can i, especially as a Christian who is constantly reminded of God's undeserving sacrificial love for all of us, and His call for us to love others as He has us, not bother about a situation of such magnitude at all?
It's a struggle, i'll give you that. I still struggle too. But i guess the point i'm getting at is that, no matter how hard the struggle is, we need to be more aware of the things that have been going on in this fallen world, and actively intercede for them. God has put us here for a reason - i'm always reminded and remind people of that. May we never become so cosy with where we are that we forget of those around us, be they nearer or further away, and the fact that we all are equally in need of His grace and mercy.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Hokies...
I heard about the Virginia Tech campus shootings last night, but that was still when news just came in, so details were still rather sketchy, and eventually i fell asleep before finding out what actually went on.
Then this morning i heard over the news how bad things were, and it really troubled me for some reason. I don't know anyone from there, and neither have i visited their campus before. In fact my knowledge of VTech is limited to watching the UNC-VTech football game at Kenan Stadium and gathering that their marching band performs the hokey pokey (cos that's their nickname, the hokies) at half-time; and concluding that they must have a pretty good bball team cos they frustratingly swept the season series against us. If i'm not wrong they're relatively near (by American standards - maybe a couple of hours away Northwest) to UNC as well, since they're just in the next state up near the Appalachians.
My views on gun control aside, it's a real unfortunate incident, to put it very lightly, and i can't imagine what the students there must be going through. Maybe it strikes closer to home than the average S'porean cos i've experienced American college life in a school quite like theirs (good state school located outside of any big built-up urban area, good sports teams - and both in the ACC to boot, tremendous school spirit etc) and so i can identify somewhat, i dunno... The thought that a gunman, and a fellow student at that, can just come along and cause so much carnage among his peers and teachers is so surreal, so hard to grasp; and yet this did happen, and there are thousands upon thousands directly affected as a result. Gosh. So anyways, even though none of you will read this, my prayers go out to you Hokies...
Saturday, April 14, 2007
this and that
In the mood for randomness so do bear with me...
Firstly, here's a couple of pics:
This was taken at last week's rooftop cg. We had a time of reflection on the sem past and then sharing with one another on those reflections. This is coming in very delayed, but well it took that reflection time for me to realize what a great blessing the cg has been for me not only this past sem, but ever since year one. Especially since i came back though. I guess that the fact that my sorta unique church situation has translated into a lack of any real permanence and rootedness for me with regards to church min at least up till this point has meant that the community that i've in cf and especially so in thursday cg becomes all the more important for me. Yup and if i've ever needed such a community before, i sure needed (and still need) it when i came back cos i was (and still am) rather disorientated and disjointed from S'pore and all the stuff that came along with it, and the cg has given back in ways that i never had fully appreciated (and perhaps still don't)... God's faithfulness to me through the cg has just been so wonderful - it's so humbling and tear-inducing come to think of it...
Um, ok so this is on a totally different subject - was just walking along engin bridge (btw engin bridge seems to be some kind of biodiverse hotspot by nus standards since on top of these cats i also found the giant spider - which is still there btw - over there) the other day when i came across this cat and its three kittens - and it was so cool cos although these are probably just common stray/feral cats it at that moment felt as though i was on some Serengeti expedition and before me was some rare species of small wild feline. So of course out came my camera and voila... Reminded me a bit of my UNC days when the mere sight of a squirrel would coax my camera out before i could say, erm well, "squirrel!". That of course was until i realized that there were squirrels everywhere over in the US, compared to S'pore when i spot one like once a year or so high up some tree... Not enough nuts in S'pore maybe...
As each day goes by, i've become more and more keen on staying on campus next year. It's a combination methinks of being spoilt last sem at UNC when both classes and downtown were a two-minute walk away from my room; honours year coming up which promises to be really busy, and tv mobile getting increasingly on my nerves by the second. Things should work out eventually i hope - nearly screwed up my application cos i keyed in an invalid email address - maybe it's a freudian slip that i attached my nus userid to the usual UNC email. Thankfully the relevant people got back to me so was able to rectify that...
I don't recall having started on revision proper more than a week before my first paper ever before. Somehow i ended up choosing classes that have their deadlines rather early, so actually had nothing else school-related to do but revise from as early as Wed (which i did, and am doing, but very slowly - but hey it's a start right...) That being said, as i've expressed to some random people, i'm prepared to see my grades drop somewhat this sem owing to various complicated reasons, but i know that whatever happens the Lord has been ever-faithful - and i'm thankful no matter what lah (Job 1:21 - "Blessed be Your Name" - comes to mind but i'd hardly think that in Job's situation i'd be as unflinching - was already sad when i lost my old nalgene...)
Will it stop raining here everyday already?
It seems that facebook is starting to catch on here eh - seems really different though from the good old days, so to speak, when i was still over there. And it makes me more sentimental for how things were like last time in a way - for me the primary reason why i have fb (and aim too, for that matter) when i eschew just about everything else is that it helps me to keep in touch with friends outside of S'pore, especially those back at Carolina... But, still i suppose that at the end of the day; plus ça change, c’est la même chose, n'est ce pas?
Firstly, here's a couple of pics:
This was taken at last week's rooftop cg. We had a time of reflection on the sem past and then sharing with one another on those reflections. This is coming in very delayed, but well it took that reflection time for me to realize what a great blessing the cg has been for me not only this past sem, but ever since year one. Especially since i came back though. I guess that the fact that my sorta unique church situation has translated into a lack of any real permanence and rootedness for me with regards to church min at least up till this point has meant that the community that i've in cf and especially so in thursday cg becomes all the more important for me. Yup and if i've ever needed such a community before, i sure needed (and still need) it when i came back cos i was (and still am) rather disorientated and disjointed from S'pore and all the stuff that came along with it, and the cg has given back in ways that i never had fully appreciated (and perhaps still don't)... God's faithfulness to me through the cg has just been so wonderful - it's so humbling and tear-inducing come to think of it...
Um, ok so this is on a totally different subject - was just walking along engin bridge (btw engin bridge seems to be some kind of biodiverse hotspot by nus standards since on top of these cats i also found the giant spider - which is still there btw - over there) the other day when i came across this cat and its three kittens - and it was so cool cos although these are probably just common stray/feral cats it at that moment felt as though i was on some Serengeti expedition and before me was some rare species of small wild feline. So of course out came my camera and voila... Reminded me a bit of my UNC days when the mere sight of a squirrel would coax my camera out before i could say, erm well, "squirrel!". That of course was until i realized that there were squirrels everywhere over in the US, compared to S'pore when i spot one like once a year or so high up some tree... Not enough nuts in S'pore maybe...
As each day goes by, i've become more and more keen on staying on campus next year. It's a combination methinks of being spoilt last sem at UNC when both classes and downtown were a two-minute walk away from my room; honours year coming up which promises to be really busy, and tv mobile getting increasingly on my nerves by the second. Things should work out eventually i hope - nearly screwed up my application cos i keyed in an invalid email address - maybe it's a freudian slip that i attached my nus userid to the usual UNC email. Thankfully the relevant people got back to me so was able to rectify that...
I don't recall having started on revision proper more than a week before my first paper ever before. Somehow i ended up choosing classes that have their deadlines rather early, so actually had nothing else school-related to do but revise from as early as Wed (which i did, and am doing, but very slowly - but hey it's a start right...) That being said, as i've expressed to some random people, i'm prepared to see my grades drop somewhat this sem owing to various complicated reasons, but i know that whatever happens the Lord has been ever-faithful - and i'm thankful no matter what lah (Job 1:21 - "Blessed be Your Name" - comes to mind but i'd hardly think that in Job's situation i'd be as unflinching - was already sad when i lost my old nalgene...)
Will it stop raining here everyday already?
It seems that facebook is starting to catch on here eh - seems really different though from the good old days, so to speak, when i was still over there. And it makes me more sentimental for how things were like last time in a way - for me the primary reason why i have fb (and aim too, for that matter) when i eschew just about everything else is that it helps me to keep in touch with friends outside of S'pore, especially those back at Carolina... But, still i suppose that at the end of the day; plus ça change, c’est la même chose, n'est ce pas?
Friday, March 23, 2007
volatility
Was typing my essay in my secret place earlier today when i happened to notice (cos the desks there are angled in such a way that when you sit you'll be semi-facing the neighboring screen) that the guy next to me was playing some kind of Chinese war computer game (Romance of the Three Kingdoms?). Ok fair enough, i thought, anyways the place still had some empty coms around at that time so if he wanted to go ahead with that then so be it.
Happened to catch a glimpse of his screen some time later. I was truly sickened to realize that the guy had switched to viewing a whole host of pictures of a quasi-erotic nature (i shall not elaborate further). Eek! I'd have liked to, to put it lightly, strongly advise him to stop that at once, but i didn't know how to go about doing that so i settled on trying to shift my monitor screen in such a way that his own screen wasn't in my line of vision and strategically holding up my notes right in front of my face whenever i could to block those disturbing images from my sight once and for all...
Well, that aside, the remainder of the process of typing my essay was rather uneventful. I'm really not one for conciseness so i ended up writing too much. During the editing process, i always feel so sayang to let words/sentences go so i try and keep that to a minimum. In fact in the editing process i often end up adding more fluff rather than getting rid of it. Yup so it did get a bit long, but still within reasonable limits i hope...
I do find it weird that i seemingly have little work to do (not many deadlines left really) but i've been feeling more tired than i've ever been this sem. Today it all started to get to me so i was back in my tactical, retreatist, loner mode and tried to avoid people as far as i could. Just as well i had an essay to finish. And that doesn't seem to be going away as of yet. Maybe God is telling me that i need to spend more time alone, as in time with Him (Ok so i know that for a fact). A lot of stuff continues to bother me, and whatever talking to God about all of these has been piecemeal at best. And the slightest thing seems to trigger more "me against the world" sentiment (and going along these lines in the unlikely event that the Tar Heels lose their Sweet 16 match to the Trojans tom that would so do it for me methinks) Yeah so the point of the story: need to spend time with God. Productive time, that won't reach a premature anti-climax with me falling asleep or having my thoughts drift to totally unrelated and far less important matters.
My current earworm over the past few days when i get up in the (very early) morning: And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going. Random thought but maybe that's what i've been subconsciously telling God as of late. "Going" as in going to genuinely want to do things His way. Hmm...
Happened to catch a glimpse of his screen some time later. I was truly sickened to realize that the guy had switched to viewing a whole host of pictures of a quasi-erotic nature (i shall not elaborate further). Eek! I'd have liked to, to put it lightly, strongly advise him to stop that at once, but i didn't know how to go about doing that so i settled on trying to shift my monitor screen in such a way that his own screen wasn't in my line of vision and strategically holding up my notes right in front of my face whenever i could to block those disturbing images from my sight once and for all...
Well, that aside, the remainder of the process of typing my essay was rather uneventful. I'm really not one for conciseness so i ended up writing too much. During the editing process, i always feel so sayang to let words/sentences go so i try and keep that to a minimum. In fact in the editing process i often end up adding more fluff rather than getting rid of it. Yup so it did get a bit long, but still within reasonable limits i hope...
I do find it weird that i seemingly have little work to do (not many deadlines left really) but i've been feeling more tired than i've ever been this sem. Today it all started to get to me so i was back in my tactical, retreatist, loner mode and tried to avoid people as far as i could. Just as well i had an essay to finish. And that doesn't seem to be going away as of yet. Maybe God is telling me that i need to spend more time alone, as in time with Him (Ok so i know that for a fact). A lot of stuff continues to bother me, and whatever talking to God about all of these has been piecemeal at best. And the slightest thing seems to trigger more "me against the world" sentiment (and going along these lines in the unlikely event that the Tar Heels lose their Sweet 16 match to the Trojans tom that would so do it for me methinks) Yeah so the point of the story: need to spend time with God. Productive time, that won't reach a premature anti-climax with me falling asleep or having my thoughts drift to totally unrelated and far less important matters.
My current earworm over the past few days when i get up in the (very early) morning: And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going. Random thought but maybe that's what i've been subconsciously telling God as of late. "Going" as in going to genuinely want to do things His way. Hmm...
pumpkins and mice reappear
So for the past two nights (i.e. yesterday and today) my aim of sleeping by midnight each weeknight has not been successful. Yesterday i forgot why already, but today it's quite clearly cos i've work to do and i'm trying (in vain) to convince myself to get more of it done now so that tom when i'm in school i can spend more time just hanging.
Anyways, after more than a week's worth of trying to eliminate the six other question choices before finally settling on the chosen topic, and practically another week's worth of (sparingly) researching on the topic, i finally got cracking on the essay itself yesterday afternoon in school. Got a decent bit of it done, though got distracted as i usually do. This time it was cos i was seated in the library fourth floor com cluster directly on the other side of the glass from the video room, and the girl directly behind me on the other side of the glass was watching, for some strange reason, Toy Story 2. She also was using subtitles, so i was able to watch and figure out what was going on even though i couldn't hear the audio of the dvd. It was the scene when the cowgirl doll was singing the Sarah McLachlan song "When She Loved Me" cos she kena abandoned by her original owner. For some strange reason i started to feel really sad for the poor doll. Yup. oh but i digress, basically i got distracted by that.
Felt that i had enough time to take some of it off doing the essay to play tennis for the first time in more than a year methinks. Went with Evan and Junwen and William. Was a good break from studying and up till now my muscles aren't aching so maybe that's a good sign i dunno. Oh and btw, is it really so amazing that i can eat a footlong Subway and still be hungry?
With all the com-related stuff that i've been doing as of late and my laziness to bring my laptop along (not to mention the trouble of trying to find a powerpoint), i've been spending a lot of time in various com clusters. Would like to think of myself as someone who's a seasoned enough nus student to know where to go to find an available com which is not packed to the hilt no matter what time of the day it is. So today i found (ok, not really found, more like finally visited after knowing of its existence for a little while now) another good place to go (the exact place shall be kept a secret hee) to use a com, particularly if it's for stuff like essay writing. Managed to spend almost four (relatively) productive hours there writing the essay, which is now waiting for around 400 words in order to be completed. Only problem is that all the staring at the screen left me feeling really tired, and so have not really been myself since then and have gotten all contemplative again. Ah maybe i need some of that...
Later
Anyways, after more than a week's worth of trying to eliminate the six other question choices before finally settling on the chosen topic, and practically another week's worth of (sparingly) researching on the topic, i finally got cracking on the essay itself yesterday afternoon in school. Got a decent bit of it done, though got distracted as i usually do. This time it was cos i was seated in the library fourth floor com cluster directly on the other side of the glass from the video room, and the girl directly behind me on the other side of the glass was watching, for some strange reason, Toy Story 2. She also was using subtitles, so i was able to watch and figure out what was going on even though i couldn't hear the audio of the dvd. It was the scene when the cowgirl doll was singing the Sarah McLachlan song "When She Loved Me" cos she kena abandoned by her original owner. For some strange reason i started to feel really sad for the poor doll. Yup. oh but i digress, basically i got distracted by that.
Felt that i had enough time to take some of it off doing the essay to play tennis for the first time in more than a year methinks. Went with Evan and Junwen and William. Was a good break from studying and up till now my muscles aren't aching so maybe that's a good sign i dunno. Oh and btw, is it really so amazing that i can eat a footlong Subway and still be hungry?
With all the com-related stuff that i've been doing as of late and my laziness to bring my laptop along (not to mention the trouble of trying to find a powerpoint), i've been spending a lot of time in various com clusters. Would like to think of myself as someone who's a seasoned enough nus student to know where to go to find an available com which is not packed to the hilt no matter what time of the day it is. So today i found (ok, not really found, more like finally visited after knowing of its existence for a little while now) another good place to go (the exact place shall be kept a secret hee) to use a com, particularly if it's for stuff like essay writing. Managed to spend almost four (relatively) productive hours there writing the essay, which is now waiting for around 400 words in order to be completed. Only problem is that all the staring at the screen left me feeling really tired, and so have not really been myself since then and have gotten all contemplative again. Ah maybe i need some of that...
Later
Friday, March 02, 2007
looking back on the weeks of work
Aiyah actually this is supposed to be the last pic but me and tech... well...And i used to say that i wouldn't be caught dead in a soccer jersey -
well in my defence that was borrowed cos my short was too dirty already...
Ok this is really totally irrelevantbut just to note that there's one "dollar" too many there
- talk about doubling your $...
Well the above pic was taken in school on the mon of our dear term break which really was anything but a break. Ok, i take it back, it also was not a holiday, a time of relaxation, an opportunity to finally sit down and reflect fully upon sep, a time to spend with friends and family... Hmm i guess i'll say instead that it was anything but fun...
Why was i in school on mon? Cos i needed to watch a video and only could do so on campus, but the silly library was closed so i had to be content with finding some obscure corner in the forum with a powerpoint. Super annoying ah...
That night had dinner at a family friend's place. One of the guests there was a guy from VS (not there anymore so can reveal the name of the school liao), where of course i was attached to previously and had a very interesting time in the process. Was quite funny cos we got talking about school stuff and i realized that in the future i'll be at the receiving end of such talk... Hmmm...
Ah well, moving right along...
Why was i in school on mon? Cos i needed to watch a video and only could do so on campus, but the silly library was closed so i had to be content with finding some obscure corner in the forum with a powerpoint. Super annoying ah...
That night had dinner at a family friend's place. One of the guests there was a guy from VS (not there anymore so can reveal the name of the school liao), where of course i was attached to previously and had a very interesting time in the process. Was quite funny cos we got talking about school stuff and i realized that in the future i'll be at the receiving end of such talk... Hmmm...
Ah well, moving right along...
Ha? Sure or not?Well wed had a project meeting in Chiam territory of all places cos we've to do a survey of the area. Pretty ironic that i used to stay just across the road in Sennett Estate for like five years but almost never ventured across to the hdb area. Anyways, have never seen such a quiet hdb estate in my life - the 'lunchtime crowd', if you can call it that, at McD's consisted of a handful of people plus one group of SAJC folk and that was it. But actually come to think of it i actually do like the place. I treasure my peace and quiet and Potong Pasir is definitely a good place where one can treasure one's peace and quiet very well... Chiam actually has done a good job considering the cards he's dealt with... I just wonder how the poor folk there can cope with just one measly bus service going through the town and not having a reasonably-sized supermarket in sight within the estate...
Thu it was arts cf cny visiting day and thoughthere were only a small group of us at both Florence's and Jocelyn's places, it still was fun nevertheless. Pit is actually quite a fun game to play despite its rather simple premise. For me too it was a good break from doing my essay (though in actual fact i hadn't technically started on that essay yet - nope, i only started typing that one on sun morn, the day before it was due...). Anyways, this was definitely hands down the most fun cny visiting experience i've had this year (and i didn't even get any $ that day either, so there...)
And with regards to this week, well, i'm just glad the workload, which is as far as i can remember the most work i've had to do within a one week timeframe; was bearable by God's grace. Throughout the whole week i kept on harboring grand visions of how i'd keep sleep to a minimum and hence maximize time spent on typing essays, such that i'd be able to end sooner. Well suffice to say that after the first day when i slept for all of two hours, it went downhill all the way from there, with me constantly oversleeping in spite of alarms and also constantly deciding in the middle of typing an essay that i needed a nap, which would inevitably upgrade itself into an full-fledged snooze fest. As a result, i was late for tutorial for the first time i can remember in my university career cos i woke up late and also was left doing each essay till mere hours before the deadline came. In the midst of all that, however, i really do recognize God's hand in all of this, cos He knew that i needed sleep and grandted it to me in spite of my lofty desires to the contrary, and at the same time never let me oversleep to an extent that i did not have enough time to finish any piece of work. Well, now that my so-called hell week is all but over, the postponements to the other things that i've been delaying considering and praying about have to finally reach an end. And boy is there a lot of stuff now that i think of it... And people have been (albeit understandably) swarming around me for various reasons - sheesh... Guess it's the right moment to just take time and really just listen...
Friday, February 09, 2007
tiredness and opportunities
Fwah just now's captain's ball/ultimate was uber tiring can - after we were finished i had to go over to the library to get some readings for monday's test zapped, and so i had to get the books from rbr. After i zapped and returned the first book, i put in my next request slip and waited for the next book. After i got it i went over to the photocopying room and put my cashcard in, all ready to zap the necessary pages, when i took a closer look and realized that i had the same book that was in my hands just minutes before - in my saaa-ness (sp?) i had submitted the same rbr request slip for a second time in a row! Diao - well at least at the end of the day i got that settled. Two side notes: 1) after two-and-a-half years at nus i finally realized that there was a monitor located right next to the rbr bookdrop that listed whether your book had successfully been accepted by the machine; and 2) there was a certain nice photocopy room staff that was kind enough to instruct me in some of the ways to make my zapping jobs easier - never knew there was such a thing as a landscape function - always thought that the paper select tray labelled "A4 R" was simply for recycled paper heh...
But anyways, back to the captain's ball/ultimate we had just now - had a great time even if now i'm feeling really without much energy left in me. Haven't played games like that since UNC - where i was so bad in comparison to all the Americans that they sort of gave me face and applauded whenever i made a block or caught the frisbee successfully - so paiseh can. Anyways my 'American training' didn't have much positive impact on my skill level cos my standard was just about the same as ever but in any case the important thing is good fun and fellowship rite...
Was quite cool today cos i had originally planned to get to school by ten am so as to get some work done before class at two. But as i was in the bus i got a text from a friend from esc last sem, he was asking for language help for an essay that he had to write. Well to cut a long story short my original plan to get some work done from ten to two was aborted in favor of spending time suggesting improvements in the essay and also to catch up and talk about lots of stuff. What was particularly cool was that the topic of the essay that he had to write was on Christianity, so he was asking me some questions about that, and when he did ask questions about that i was like "ok if this isn't an opportunity provided by God i also dunno what is..." so by God's grace He gave me the words to say in sharing more about my faith with him - aiyah long story lah, and don't want to say so much as well, but basically i thank God again for this opportunity and all that has come out of it...
This being said however, i'm still sticking to my initiative to take all the work that i've to do more seriously, so along this line as i've mentioned earlier do ask me what i'm up to if you see me around and i appear to be wasting the hours away instead of doing more constructive things...
But anyways, back to the captain's ball/ultimate we had just now - had a great time even if now i'm feeling really without much energy left in me. Haven't played games like that since UNC - where i was so bad in comparison to all the Americans that they sort of gave me face and applauded whenever i made a block or caught the frisbee successfully - so paiseh can. Anyways my 'American training' didn't have much positive impact on my skill level cos my standard was just about the same as ever but in any case the important thing is good fun and fellowship rite...
Was quite cool today cos i had originally planned to get to school by ten am so as to get some work done before class at two. But as i was in the bus i got a text from a friend from esc last sem, he was asking for language help for an essay that he had to write. Well to cut a long story short my original plan to get some work done from ten to two was aborted in favor of spending time suggesting improvements in the essay and also to catch up and talk about lots of stuff. What was particularly cool was that the topic of the essay that he had to write was on Christianity, so he was asking me some questions about that, and when he did ask questions about that i was like "ok if this isn't an opportunity provided by God i also dunno what is..." so by God's grace He gave me the words to say in sharing more about my faith with him - aiyah long story lah, and don't want to say so much as well, but basically i thank God again for this opportunity and all that has come out of it...
This being said however, i'm still sticking to my initiative to take all the work that i've to do more seriously, so along this line as i've mentioned earlier do ask me what i'm up to if you see me around and i appear to be wasting the hours away instead of doing more constructive things...
Monday, February 05, 2007
mixed bag
My mind is in what recently has come to be its default mode which is basically chockful of scrambled thoughts so the following is just whatever is off the top of my head...
My house is almost empty for the week, with my parents being in KK (Sabah, not the hospital) for a provincial Anglican pastors' retreat thingy and my brother being away on reservist (which makes me shudder as to when my turn may come). Only ones left are my grandmother and Bingo. Nice to have things somewhat more quiet around here for a change - haven't been having enough quiet moments like this since i've been back...
Well bummer, the Tar Heels lost again, just when i thought we were on the upswing - it's complacency i tell you. Consolation however lies in the news that Duke lost too haha. But in any case, i'm quite amazed at how a couple of months over there can leave me now doing what last time i'd consider to be the unimaginable act of checking out the latest NCAA and NBA scores online on a very regular basis. Scary eh. And since i've become a basketball fan (and boy is it weird even just typing that), it stinks having won tickets to games but not being able to use them. At least i've friends there who can use my tics, but as selfless as i could be, i still would love to be able to catch the game...
Checked my frequent flyer miles - it turns out that i've suffered enough on United over the past few years to be eligible for a free round trip on SQ to as far as places like Istanbul, Cape Town, Cairo or Auckland. Probably will not have time to use them before some of them expire in July though, at least not to places that are so far away, so may settle for Manila or somewhere else nice in the region itself, and use the rest of the miles that still are not to expire for a while another time. Who wants to go somewhere before July? Need to find people to travel with...
I was quietly laughing to myself and grinning widely when i read the article in the papers about businesses not being able to play CNY cds without having first to pay loyalties. Apparently depending on the size of the business fees can reach four-figure sums! Hopefully this means that i'll be hearing far less tacky noise this time round...
Saturday saw me fall asleep from 7 till 11:30pm and again from around 1 till 8:30am, methinks due to accumulated lack of sleep over the week and a general tiredness on many levels. There's just been so much going on that i haven't really had time to sit back and take a breather i guess. Thank God for people He's brought round for me to talk about all this stuff with - things are slowly getting better for me partly as a result of this... However let me again emphasize the word "slowly", though i suppose it's on all counts better than not at all... The need for a better grasp of the concept of God's timing comes across so strongly in times like this...
Wish that self-recharging would come as easily as it does for my cellphone...
My house is almost empty for the week, with my parents being in KK (Sabah, not the hospital) for a provincial Anglican pastors' retreat thingy and my brother being away on reservist (which makes me shudder as to when my turn may come). Only ones left are my grandmother and Bingo. Nice to have things somewhat more quiet around here for a change - haven't been having enough quiet moments like this since i've been back...
Well bummer, the Tar Heels lost again, just when i thought we were on the upswing - it's complacency i tell you. Consolation however lies in the news that Duke lost too haha. But in any case, i'm quite amazed at how a couple of months over there can leave me now doing what last time i'd consider to be the unimaginable act of checking out the latest NCAA and NBA scores online on a very regular basis. Scary eh. And since i've become a basketball fan (and boy is it weird even just typing that), it stinks having won tickets to games but not being able to use them. At least i've friends there who can use my tics, but as selfless as i could be, i still would love to be able to catch the game...
Checked my frequent flyer miles - it turns out that i've suffered enough on United over the past few years to be eligible for a free round trip on SQ to as far as places like Istanbul, Cape Town, Cairo or Auckland. Probably will not have time to use them before some of them expire in July though, at least not to places that are so far away, so may settle for Manila or somewhere else nice in the region itself, and use the rest of the miles that still are not to expire for a while another time. Who wants to go somewhere before July? Need to find people to travel with...
I was quietly laughing to myself and grinning widely when i read the article in the papers about businesses not being able to play CNY cds without having first to pay loyalties. Apparently depending on the size of the business fees can reach four-figure sums! Hopefully this means that i'll be hearing far less tacky noise this time round...
Saturday saw me fall asleep from 7 till 11:30pm and again from around 1 till 8:30am, methinks due to accumulated lack of sleep over the week and a general tiredness on many levels. There's just been so much going on that i haven't really had time to sit back and take a breather i guess. Thank God for people He's brought round for me to talk about all this stuff with - things are slowly getting better for me partly as a result of this... However let me again emphasize the word "slowly", though i suppose it's on all counts better than not at all... The need for a better grasp of the concept of God's timing comes across so strongly in times like this...
Wish that self-recharging would come as easily as it does for my cellphone...
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Cathartic randomness
hokays randomness awaits - am just killing time cos don't feel like sleeping yet but definitely don't feel like getting any work done either...
Crossroads - well after an initial total lack of interest in going i figured that i should go after all, not so much because i'm graduating (since i ain't) but really to get a little more in touch with VCF after being away for a sem, which if you haven't realized yet has made me feeling quite blur and detached whenever i've attended any VCF activities that entail participation from people outside my cg.
Well, i went and at the end of the day while i did become a tad bit less blur and feel less detached the blurness and detachment still remains so i guess that motive remained relatively unfulfilled. Didn't help that the same old issues kept on running through my mind which sort of made me somewhat off at times. But all that being said, Crossroads was great for me in other ways that i didn't really think about when i signed up such as getting a wider perspective of the implications of being a Christian teacher and principles and habits that would be very apt when observed both now and when i do graduate and start teaching eventually (which in retrospect was rather silly since these later issues are somewhat rather expected given the nature of Crossroads to begin with) And time spent alone with God while i was there was great too i guess, at times painful but still great at the end of the day...
Been affected greatly by noise pollution this past week in the form of excessively loud and annoying forum events and the usual peskiness that is tv mobile. Between seriously cannot-make-it bands that are unintentionally humorous, bizarre eating contests with bad food and worse hosts, and dancing demonstrations by weirdly and skimpily-attired people, the forum has proved to be a one times useless study venue this past week. And for tv mobile, if i hear "true colors" or "fly me to the moon" one more time, i almost will feel like i've no other choice but to make that tv mobile really mobile - by hurling the screen out of the bus window, that is...
One thing i'm thankful for is being blessed with nice people for the two project/discussion groups that i'm in - that makes the torture that is group work less tortuous. And also for the Lord preserving me through my first ever even week with full tutorial load, which sees me finishing fourteen of my sixteen hours of class that week by tuesday 6pm. Thas has also added more fuel to my tentative plan to try and get a room on campus next year cos methinks am getting too tired easily and old for having to spend two hours a day travelling to and from school when the time could be spent doing work instead (ok, more like sleeping lah =p) and i'll need all the time i can get if i'll be as busy as i think i'll be next sem...
Am still bummed over the fact that over this past week there has taken place at UNC: 1) snow; 2) two nights of Rent being performed by the US touring cast at Memorial Hall, of which student tickets were going at really good prices while i was there; 3) an awesome 105 - 64 Tar Heels victory over Miami of which i had won riser seats to but of course which i had to relinquish to Greg since there was no way i'd be able to use them for myself; 4) $1 biscuits at Bojangles since we crossed the 100 point barrier. Yup i guess i've reached the point of realization that i'll probably always miss the place and wish i was there to at least some degree for quite some time to come - especially when compared to the seemingly eternal sian-ness that i'm feeling back here - have to learn to deal with it and not get all mopey so frequently...
And i've also realized that i really appreciate and treasure it whenever people just ask me how i'm doing since i've been back, guess mainly since catharsis is very therapeutic for me in the sense of pulling me out of the partially self-imposed rut that i find myself in nowsaday... Yup so if you're reading this you know what to do, and i thank you in advance, for bearing with listening to stuff that is probably not very interesting to you in the first place - yeah it really does help...
later...
Crossroads - well after an initial total lack of interest in going i figured that i should go after all, not so much because i'm graduating (since i ain't) but really to get a little more in touch with VCF after being away for a sem, which if you haven't realized yet has made me feeling quite blur and detached whenever i've attended any VCF activities that entail participation from people outside my cg.
Well, i went and at the end of the day while i did become a tad bit less blur and feel less detached the blurness and detachment still remains so i guess that motive remained relatively unfulfilled. Didn't help that the same old issues kept on running through my mind which sort of made me somewhat off at times. But all that being said, Crossroads was great for me in other ways that i didn't really think about when i signed up such as getting a wider perspective of the implications of being a Christian teacher and principles and habits that would be very apt when observed both now and when i do graduate and start teaching eventually (which in retrospect was rather silly since these later issues are somewhat rather expected given the nature of Crossroads to begin with) And time spent alone with God while i was there was great too i guess, at times painful but still great at the end of the day...
Been affected greatly by noise pollution this past week in the form of excessively loud and annoying forum events and the usual peskiness that is tv mobile. Between seriously cannot-make-it bands that are unintentionally humorous, bizarre eating contests with bad food and worse hosts, and dancing demonstrations by weirdly and skimpily-attired people, the forum has proved to be a one times useless study venue this past week. And for tv mobile, if i hear "true colors" or "fly me to the moon" one more time, i almost will feel like i've no other choice but to make that tv mobile really mobile - by hurling the screen out of the bus window, that is...
One thing i'm thankful for is being blessed with nice people for the two project/discussion groups that i'm in - that makes the torture that is group work less tortuous. And also for the Lord preserving me through my first ever even week with full tutorial load, which sees me finishing fourteen of my sixteen hours of class that week by tuesday 6pm. Thas has also added more fuel to my tentative plan to try and get a room on campus next year cos methinks am getting too tired easily and old for having to spend two hours a day travelling to and from school when the time could be spent doing work instead (ok, more like sleeping lah =p) and i'll need all the time i can get if i'll be as busy as i think i'll be next sem...
Am still bummed over the fact that over this past week there has taken place at UNC: 1) snow; 2) two nights of Rent being performed by the US touring cast at Memorial Hall, of which student tickets were going at really good prices while i was there; 3) an awesome 105 - 64 Tar Heels victory over Miami of which i had won riser seats to but of course which i had to relinquish to Greg since there was no way i'd be able to use them for myself; 4) $1 biscuits at Bojangles since we crossed the 100 point barrier. Yup i guess i've reached the point of realization that i'll probably always miss the place and wish i was there to at least some degree for quite some time to come - especially when compared to the seemingly eternal sian-ness that i'm feeling back here - have to learn to deal with it and not get all mopey so frequently...
And i've also realized that i really appreciate and treasure it whenever people just ask me how i'm doing since i've been back, guess mainly since catharsis is very therapeutic for me in the sense of pulling me out of the partially self-imposed rut that i find myself in nowsaday... Yup so if you're reading this you know what to do, and i thank you in advance, for bearing with listening to stuff that is probably not very interesting to you in the first place - yeah it really does help...
later...
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Whooshing by...
Oh boy has it been a long time since the last one - meanwhile it's been a draining time for me physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally - yup you name it i probably had kena it. Yup it's been fun that's for sure heh...
And as usual, with the long hiatus has come a lot of things to include here which once again have decided to evade my immediate memory at this point in time. I do remember these two thingies though, which suggest to me that perhaps it's too early for me to move house since i'm still discovering a lot of things about it. 1) After staying in my room for almost three years, i finally realized that the black florescent lamp that had been sitting on the desk, abandoned by the previous owner, was actually working - i'd always assumed that it was not working just from looking it; 2) After more than a year i found my set of house keys that i'd thought were misplaced somewhere never to be found again.
Anyways speaking of house moving, the latest is that we're moving to an apartment somewhere behind PS/Istana, i.e. in town - have rather mixed feelings about that one...
Maybe will elaborate more another time - for now i ought to get to bed - but before i go here's some lyrics from a Delirious song [Majesty (Here I Am)] that spoke to me just now:
Your grace has found me just as i am
Empty-handed but alive in Your hands
Amen
And as usual, with the long hiatus has come a lot of things to include here which once again have decided to evade my immediate memory at this point in time. I do remember these two thingies though, which suggest to me that perhaps it's too early for me to move house since i'm still discovering a lot of things about it. 1) After staying in my room for almost three years, i finally realized that the black florescent lamp that had been sitting on the desk, abandoned by the previous owner, was actually working - i'd always assumed that it was not working just from looking it; 2) After more than a year i found my set of house keys that i'd thought were misplaced somewhere never to be found again.
Anyways speaking of house moving, the latest is that we're moving to an apartment somewhere behind PS/Istana, i.e. in town - have rather mixed feelings about that one...
Maybe will elaborate more another time - for now i ought to get to bed - but before i go here's some lyrics from a Delirious song [Majesty (Here I Am)] that spoke to me just now:
Your grace has found me just as i am
Empty-handed but alive in Your hands
Amen
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