Saturday, February 25, 2006

to borrow from Billy...

You know how a famous line from one of Shakespeare's plays (i forget which one, heck, i'm not even sure if it's his line to begin with...) goes "a rose by any other name smells just as sweet" or something to that effect?

Well allow me to modify this line, and say that, pardon the lack of poetic feel, "a four-day break by any other name (i.e. a five-day break) smells fishy and foul"

That being the case, i have had a relatively good break, in terms of catching up with work and recreation as well...

Decided to break from the books early on wed and went to catch Match Point... Like many of its counterparts nowsaday, it was a rather good movie, save for its apparent endorsement of immorality. I already know how it would end before i even watched it, which saved me the suspense of awaiting how it was resolved... Anyway, dunno why, but i was rooting for the bad guy the whole time...

I suppose all that is needed to know about yesterday's apparently amusing episodes can be found here.

Thankfully, my lessons today got pushed back/cancelled because there are people who exist who realise the whole stupidity of this break arrangement...

In the afternoon went with some prc/esc people to Sentosa, as they had wanted to go see Underwater World... Haven't been there for quite some time, got to pat a stingray at the touch pool and got dizzy at the travellator/tunnel thingy cos my eyes were too close to the concave glass, which caused my head to spin... Can't believe how expensive it is to enter that place, especially since it really isn't that good to begin with. Well, at least i saw the pink dolphins (of strange-tasting colourless drinks fame) for the first time...

All in all i had quite a good time today, and more importantly so did the prcs... I was initially reconsidering whether i should get involved in esc this year especially since pragmatically speaking it may not have been the best decision for me to take. Yet i did feel that the Lord was leading me to some kind of involvement in this area in spite of the busyness, and i am thankful for how through the building up of relationships with the prcs (transcending a massive language barrier in the process) He has blessed me so far in the process. It's always so comforting and sobering to know that, as the song goes, He sees the master plan...

I normally cannot stand white chocolate, but the one in the box that i just opened (from Royce - merely one of the mountains of foodstuff that has been given to my family over the past few months, and has hitherto remained untouched...) is just sooo good, that before i knew it i had eaten five pieces (out of thirty) of them...

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

in painful anticipation of pain

Experienced a totally different study environment today, cos before the cg outing in the wild wild west of woodlands (ok so geographically speaking it it not in the west of S'pore, but it is to the west of admiralty, so it is technically still west - ah the lengths i go to in order to justify my apparent adoration of alliteration) decided it best to study there from the morning, in lieu of making my way there midway through the day from school.

So in McD's (little productivity and lousy breakfast food - i honour your restaurant by actually holding the rare ceremony of actually eating something for breakfast at your outlet with your food and you repay me with totally blah hotcakes? how can the phrase "to sell like hotcakes" be legitimate, unless people are really interested in eating glorified fried batter topped with 'maple-flavoured syrup'... fàn-tastic? Your head ah, re-fàn is more like it =p...), and later in the library (first time there - not bad lah, certainly more impressive than the marine parade one, passable study environment but still not as good as school...), managed to complete the remaining fifty pages of the dry history text that cover the entire first half of lectures... hopefully that will go some way in preparing for the test which i am at present totally clueless about...

Had a short and good run around the woodlands of woodlands with Huishan before the outing proper... Reminded me once again that i ought to start preparing for ippt (yup, it's here again bleah) now, especially in the possible eventuality that i will be abroad when my window closes on my birthday, hence my need to take it (and pass) before i leave, and perhaps even before MEET trip... i.e. (and i know this is the gazillionth time i am typing this phrase) i need to exercise...

Floorball itself was great, had lots of fun, good exercise, and it was a therapeutic release from the sian-ness of studying that has plagued me so far... What do i have to show for it? Two identical small abrasions on either inner side of my foot at that bony jutting-out part whose name i have no clue what it is, thanks to my overly-dramatic stops and lunges for the ball, as well as a horribly aching body [back, neck, calves, thighs, upper and lower arms, shoulder, abs (or whatever i have behind the flab) ...] once i wake up tomorrow morning...

Dinner and the talking was a good time too... Pity that we were far from full attendance, but enjoyable fellowship nevertheless. Thanks Ade for opening up your church and house, remember that the east beckons next time round... =)

Dunno what work to do tomorrow, cos there's just so much to be done... But at least, by God's grace, am not slacking lah (not too much, at least...)

Wanna watch a movie soon, to make use of my vouchers (have four altogether, but two have hidden themselves somewhere in the recesses of my room), and while i have some time to do so... Brokeback or Match Point anybody?

bonsoir

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

recovering

actually wanted a much more catchy title than the above, wanted to find something that rhymes with the word "virus" and that makes some sense, but alas all the words that come to mind are totally unsuitable ones like walrus, platypus, stylus, prospectus, Billy Ray Cyrus (the achy breaky heart guy), cirrus, stratus, cumulo-nimbus...

but in any case, and as i am sure you can guess, i am more or less rid of that awful viral cough that has plagued me like, well, the plague for the past two weeks... Thank God for His healing, it has certainly been the worst cough that i've ever had, and has had quite a sapping effect on me for quite some time...

to celebrate the occasion, i ate post honey roasted honey bunches of oats topped with yoghurt and gong1 bao4 ji1 ding1, complete with all those sliced dried chillies that i love to suck all the heat out of *slurp*

today was the most productive day in terms of schoolwork that i've had, possibly in the whole sem so far, more than 100 pages of a dry history text from 2pm to 945pm, though there's still much room for improvement (as well as lots of work to do in order to improve)

have been taken by the book of Job over the past few days during quiet time, this passage, among others, in particular:

Job 19:25-26
I know that my Redeemer lives,
and that in the end He will stand upon the earth.
And after my skin has been destroyed,
yet in my flesh I will see God;

ok must admit that perhaps i wouldn't have been so taken by this passage if it had not been adapted into a song... Anyway, think that it's so wonderful to see how Job can declare firmly, inspite of al the affliction that he is undergoing, that his Redeemer, God Himself, is a living God, who is from everlasting to everlasting. Even upon his eventual passing, he can still claim in faith that he will see God with his own eyes. Just felt so challenged as i was reading this passage, reminded me once again of my own inadequacies in terms of faith in our unchanging great God... Thank You God for how Your word is always fresh and relevant =)

Saturday, February 18, 2006

in days of yore...

Highlight of today was fun-o-rama back at acjc, which i haven't physically stepped into methinks since all the way back in 2002. Good excuse to see how the school has changed since the renovation heyday that was my two years there (and boy has it changed - new buildings, new areas air-conditioned, new teachers etc...), as well as to meet up with people, while taking a small break after the taxing week or so that i had...

I originally started out with four coupons (worth $40 - two i purchased from Hannah, and two from the poor acjc students that were desperately trying to sell their coupons in nus...) and figured that it would be good if there were others with whom i could spend it with cos i myself would be at a loss as to what to do with so many coupons, so after asking a bunch of other people, Mei Si agreed to tag along...

Of course, who better for me to bump into than my Aunt who is a Christian ministry staff at the school, and who promptly passed me $70 more worth of coupons to use =)

When it comes to these funfair thingys, the problem i always face is that there are so many ways in which to spend your money yet somehow you are not particularly attracted to anything, and hence you don't know how to spend your $ at all...

Hence my purchases tended towards the blatantly exorbitant [e.g. paying $5 for a single and smaller-than-usual Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut - "it costs so much because we flew them in from Australia this morning" according to the girl who sold it to me - but anyway it was really good (and fattening) stuff, i tell you...], the impulsive [e.g. buying a fun-o-rama tee in the morning at $30 when they were going at $20 once the fair began to die down and everyone was slashing prices to clear stock (note to self, come next fun-o-rama, put off all purchases, wherever possible, to the very last minute, cos that's when the really good deals come, especially for the ac merchandise, for otherwise, it's just plain daylight robbery)], and the downright wasteful [e.g. paying $10 per person to wait in line for twenty or so minutes for a two minute and rather blah haunted house experience]

You think i would have known better and been wiser in my purchases and purchasing strategy, especially when considering that this is at least my fourth or fifth fun-o-rama (btw Paul Seah said that this was his tenth...), but oh well, the first few happened before i came into acjc anyway, so rather ignorant or all that was going on; while the one when i was in acjc was just one big tiring blur for me, in between selling food at my stall and running to and fro; while the last one i went to took place on the saturday i booked out from bmt, so was dead tired...

Anyway, have not met so many people from so many parts of my life in such a short stretch of time for ages... Lemme see, saw and met people from vcf, nus, acjc (duh), barker, present church, previous church, family (who are by and large all ac people anyway)... Great to meet up with so many people, many of whom i have not seen in ages...

One memorable experience: managing to (in consideration of my general cannot-make-it-ness with regards to sport as a whole),and semi-forced by some of my previous church people, actually muster enough aiming and throwing expertise to channel a tennis ball to hit a target two times in succession, each time causing a bucket of water to empty onto one of my old childhood friends, who is now teaching there and who exchanged churches (and rooms) with me two years back... (Oh and btw, that cost $10 =p)

Dunno why but couldn't help but somehow miss the environment there (though there are many things that i still have issues with, but nevertheless), think there's something about the vibrancy and energy in the air that made me reminisce about my time in school (or maybe it's just cos i am getting older...)

Ah well, all in all it was an enjoyable experience... Good job...

breaking news!!!

In a sign of being on the road to recovery from the viral cough that yours truly has been afflicted with for the past week or so, the gross cloudy yellow stuff (to Ade Fam's disgust, of the same shade as her top) that i had hitherto been spewing out on a daily basis has now been replaced by less cloudy colourless stuff...

Wowwee, the highlight of my week, a change in the colour of phlegm...

The cough is still there though, and now i even vibrate violently like my phone on silent mode whenever i do so...

I seriously am suffering here since i am (by right) not supposed to eat cold food, fried food, dry food, and chilli (nooooooo...) which practically leads me with what? Soup with noodles... The past few days at the arts canteen have been featuring me uttering phrases like "auntie, mi fen tang" or "auntie, guo tiao tang" or "auntie, zhu gan mian xian" or "auntie, yu pian mian xian"... you get the picture...

That reminds me, this evening at the arts canteen two of the aunties were arguing very loudly with each another in hokkien, but from where i was seated (where i couldn't actually see what was going on), i couldn't tell if they were angry with one another or were just recounting a funny story cos to me both would have sounded the same...

Friday, February 17, 2006

the emancipation of me

Slept at four am and got all of one and a half hours of sleep last night as i was occupied with the essay that was due today, and which finally, by God's grace was done around 1030, giving a more than comfortable amount of time for me to hand it in before the deadline hit.

Am only now finally feeling the effects of my (lack of) sleep

The pent-up tiredness has resulted in me looking quite unkempt over the past few days, i gave myself a bit of a shock when i was washing my hands while looking at the mirror only to see a close-to-death figure that i hardly recognized...

Well, at least i am now free from this first thing that has been weighing upon me for the longest time (hence the title). Really dunno what kind of results to expect for that one though...

Desperately in need of sleep...

Thursday, February 16, 2006

home stretch

So here am i trying to finish off the essay that has been dogging me for the longest time...

Getting there, but it's so near yet so far...

Twelve and a half hours or so till i am to hand this in =x

Wonder if i'll be getting any sleep...

Jialat! (© CMS)

Ah well... will be happier once it's over, and will be sadder once i get it back...

nitey then...

oops, or rather, morning...

When you wake up to a happy sound
(yummy yummy yum, yummy yum yum yum)
The rockin' hotcakes are coming to town
(scooby dop-a-doo-dop a yummy yum yum)
The rockin' hotcakes are really neat
With juice and milk to make breakfast complete
(yeah yeah, yeah yeah)
It's a good time, great taste
(yubba yubba, hotcakes!)
Of McDonald's
(yubba yubba HOT!)

A bit loopy at this hour...

Monday, February 13, 2006

post-concert syndrome

Just came back from the Corrinne May concert, definitely a good and welcome change from my less-than-ideal rest of the week.

Yup, there is much difference between merely listening to a cd and attending a concert. The whole experience just felt so much more complete and fulfilling than it is now when i am listening to the chap goh meh song (i.e. Same Side of the Moon) on my com. Definitely came out of the concert with a far better appreciation of her songs, and in particular, her lyrics, after tonight. She's been greatly blessed with talents that she's definitely using to their fullest potential now, for the enjoyment of many. Without a doubt she's on a totally different planet from any nonsense singer that singapore idol could even dream of conjuring up. For one, i don't see her starring in any atrociously bad and unoriginal local television programme or becoming the spokesperson for big gulps anytime soon =p

And what has my less-than-ideal rest of the week consisted of? Basically, a lack of productivity, save for my cough, which has proved to buck the trend by producing a large dollop of cloudy yellow stuff every morning. In fact, my due-on-thursday essay only saw its conception on the bus on the way to the concert just now, which leaves just over a hundred hours before it is due. Thankfully, i have been able to find a fairly straightforward topic, but that then means that a lot of people will probably also be doing this question, which means that i have to put in that much more quality into it, quality which i fear has taken a hiatus from germinating in my little grey cells as of late.

Ah well, i certainly believe that will get through this essay by God's grace, so that hopefully after that i can try to get my academics back on the track that they have so horribly derailed from. Yup and after that hopefully i can stay on the road and get through this sem, which now officially takes the cake for the worst sem that i've had in nus so far. And all that i need for this to happen is a complete surrender of it all to God... Just have to let it go. Then and only then will i feel free and safe in a crazy world. Yup, but to that point, it's a long, long journey...

Time to fly away ... to dreamland that is...

nitey

Friday, February 10, 2006

by His grace

Have been on the verge of being officially sick for the past few days ('officially' meaning having the sickness being serious enough to warrant a visit to the doctor - the more previous times before this having been during army when, let's face it, even when you are in the pink of health, you do occasionally just want to see the doc and go home and rest - the time that happened while i was in bmt was just about one of the happiest moments in my military life), felt like all energy was just sapped from me, and i was practically dragging myself through school most of yesterday in particular, and, from what i heard from others, looked rather out-of-sorts. Today was a little better but still felt rather horrible, particularly in the morning.

*koff koff*

In fact, was feeling so %^#@ as i woke up this morning and as i headed to school that i entertained the thought at the back of my mind that should this %^#@-ness continue, i would just head home after class and hope that miraculously cg would turn out fine, even though i was supposed to be the one facilitating the BS...

Furthermore, was experiencing all sorts of problems with the BS itself, cos had really no idea as to how to go about with it. The topic was 'relationships', and i felt totally unprepared and unqualified to facilitate this study since i thought that it was akin to perhaps the various idiot European newspapers collaborating to write an article on "how to be respectful of foreign religions in cartoons". How, i thought, was i to handle the thingy, while still going along with God's word (it is a Bible study after all), and not having it degenerate into some maudlin Oprah-style gossip-fest.

*koff wheeeeze koff*

Oh well, i do believe that it was the Lord who gave me the strength to get through the day today, and also to handle the study ok as well. I know this cos at the start of the study itself i had practically no idea as to how to lead it, and all that subsequently came out of my mouth was therefore really spoken by the Lord through me. It's so wonderful as to how He can use us in such cool ways for His purposes.

So once again i have been humbled by how He has seen me through both this day, in my less-than-ideal health, as well as specifically in the BS itself. In my own inadequacy, the Lord has shown his more-than-sufficiency =)

*koff kooooff*

In related news, the words of this song that Sida led for worship today really ministered to me. Here's a bit of it:

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise.
When the darkness closes in
Lord, still I will say.

Blessed be the Name of the Lord,
Blessed be Your name.
Blessed be the Name of the Lord,
Blessed be Your glorious name.

You give and take away,
You give and take away.
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name.


Amen.

*koff*

Sunday, February 05, 2006

how watching tv helps you to lose weight...

(apart from those weird things like Richard Simmons "look at me, i'm a pony / shake your booty to the sixties" videos, that is)

Ate dinner at home today, and decided to turn on the telly. The only thing (in the absence of cable) that was worth watching was channelnewsasia (for once - mainly cos an imported, rather than an in-house program was airing at the time). So what was airing? A documentary on America's battle with the bulge.

Before i knew it, the stuff that was reported on the program had a direct impact on my subsequent actions:

i eased up on the dark sauce, which under normal circumstances i would smother my chicken rice with until it's a glop of black gooey stuff

i had second thoughts about eating the juicy and fatty roast chicken skin (though i did eat it anyway =p)

i eschewed the chewy beef ligaments in the soup that my mother made (even though it's not fat methinks) and tossed them to Bingo instead (on whom the documentary obviously had no effect)

i made a concious effort to not eat so much rice (too much unrefined carbs make you feel hungry sooner, according to the program - which come to think of it, explains why there are days when i can consume three dinners in one evening)

i decided not to eat any dessert (when there was an ample supply of jelly, ice cream and chocs awaiting me in the fridge)

after clearing my plate, i immediately brought Bingo for an extended brisk walk around the neighbourhood (the program said that 10000 steps a day puts you on the right road to a healthy lifestyle - and anyway, comparatively speaking Bingo needs to lose much more weight than i do)

i counted the number of steps i made while walking (but lost count before 1000)

i have resolved to maintain some kind of exercise program even now though my academic stagnation as of late probably advises against it

Heehee not bad eh =p?

Friday, February 03, 2006

refilled

Once again God has amazed me so...

After the draining experience that was much of the past few days, He was once again perfect in His timing, through His bringing into my path various channels for both spiritual and emotional renewal.

(from a chronological point of view, this next thing actually belongs in yesterday's moody post but not from a thematic point of view so i shall persist) esc was a very affirming and encouraging time for me, definitely turned out much better than i thought that it would be, and am much more enthusiastic about it now than i ever was before. Of course, all may not bode well for me eventually once the time arises when i may have competing stuff to do once the workload gets heavier, but for now, happy am i =)

Very thankful for my dear MEET atl (who will probably be reading this eventually) for helping me out through all the admin and other stuff cos recently have really been too out-of-sorts to process anything for myself. Dunno how things would turn out without the invaluable help... Truly blessed to have you around =)

CG today was a very refreshing time for me today, especially in considering all the %^#@ stuff that has been coming up over the past few days, specifically in terms of busyness. Yup the topic today was sooo relevant for my situation, that i suppose that it's just as well that i didn't have to lead BS, so that i would have a chance to listen better to what God wanted to tell me. A guy afflicted by the very problems addressed in the BS is probably, as a general rule, not the best person to lead a BS on that specific topic. Or else, i might as well conduct a seminar on how to choose the freshest seafood too...

Talking to Delia on 30 on the way home after cg was also very theraputic for me, always good to share with someone who identifies with what you are facing at that point in time... Was greatly encouraged and cheered after that...

Which brings me to this point in time, where the stuff to handle remains the same, but the perspective and attitude towards it has changed... Thank God for that...

Thursday, February 02, 2006

drained

the past few days have been rather %^#@ ones for me.

Maybe it was a combination of moodiness from the totally unproductive cny i had plus the realisation of all the stuff from everywhere that had been and is continuing to pile up, i dunno, but haven't felt so emotionally tired and spent for the longest time, methinks since army. Definitely have come closest to burning out as i ever have been.

Now, not that i have a talent for hyperboly, but i suppose that things were never as dire as i make them out to be, but at least by the standards of the usually cheery and heck care little me, things could have been far better.

I dunno if being in this state caused me to rub off the wrong way on anyone over the past few days, so apologies to anyone reading this if i did.

Thank God that today in His own special ways through the prayer and encouragement of brothers He ministered to me and helped things to be less %^#@. Our God truly is faithful (, infinite in mercy, He bridged the h... ah well you know the rest =)

Now, these tiresome issues are still there, that's for sure, and still require quite a bit of working through, but thank God that i am not alone in any of this...

Happy 21st, Eunice =)