More from me once this ridiculous amount of work which i have been clearing at a ridiculously slow pace is finally over and done with by God's grace alone but now just for a little bit of nonsense posting before getting back to working on essay #1, due in just about 17 hours' time (with essays #2 & #3 due this wed and fri respectively still very much in the exploratory committee phase at the moment)
A couple of lessons learnt from this week:
- As little as cny means to me, it still nevertheless takes up a heck of a lot of my time (which ideally would have been spent on the aforementioned essays #1, #2 and #3, but in all likelihood would have been spent wasted on nothing significant)
- Attempting to stay at home and do work will result in me clocking in at least seven hours of sleep every night plus at least three to four hours of sleep every afternoon
- Never decide to be a hero and finish off the remainders of reunion dinner's devil curry featuring at least ten whole chilli padis at one sitting - your stomach will hate you for it...
- The American and S'porean definitions of the word 'break' are vastly different - during my fall break in the States i was happily exploring Chicago, during my midterm break here, well, the only exploring i could get around to is around my desk trying to find discarded notes...
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Sunday, February 18, 2007
grounddog day
Well after being reminded of a similar bout of antipathy toward cny that i felt a year ago, i'm more or less convinced that you can count me as the grinch of cny, if there ever were such a thing. Today has really been the most blah of holidays that i've had in a long time. Especially since this cny was on a Sunday again, and looking back at what i wrote about last year's cny experience, it almost seemed as though i was reliving the start of the year of the dog all over again, the only difference being that this year's was more boring.
Ah well, whatever it is, i've come to realise that there really is no such thing as healthy food when it comes to cny stuff, save for maybe the mandarin oranges (which i don't really like anyways). Today i was searching the house for something to eat and found lots of stuff, but it all was unhealthy stuff like pineapple tarts, cookies with tons of butter, fatty bak kwa and the like... Yesterday's cny dinner featured a grand total of one healthy dish - a token plate of sliced cucumbers and cherry tomatoes, which i feel was palced there just to assure ourselves that we were eating our veggies. Even the yusheng, which at least without the fish is technically vegetarian, is full of unappetising and sodium-and-sugar-laden preserved thingies which i doubt are very healthy either... But i guess given that this year is the year of the pig (though of course i don't believe in such stuff), perhaps it's only apt that we pig out eh...
Oh and speaking of yusheng, thought that it was pretty funny when my brother, some of my cousins and me, all proudly ACS-educated, were thinking of suitable cheng(2) yu(3) to use when preparing it, just as the waitress does in the restaurant. "wu(3) yan(2) liu(4) se(4)", "luan(4) qi(1) ba(1) zao(1)" and "feng(1) he(2) ri(4) li(4)" were some of what came to mind =p - not bad actually rite, at least the first two can apply in this context rite...
Anyways, i decided to skip visiting in the afternoon today and get some rest, cos already after the first house i was feeling extremely sian and tired. I can't imagine that i once actually looked forward to all the stuff that we'd do during cny. Nowsaday, i'm just glad for the reprieve from school (and btw let me reiterate the fact that the clash of cny with the midterm break sucks big time), even if it means being subject to horrible cny music that relentlessly attacks my eardrums. Oops i digress. Woke up and went with Mark for our fortnightly ecp run, which was great though i'm still quite unfit at least when compared to before i left... Shucks i dunno what i'm gonna do for running (or cycling, for that matter) once i move to my new place, which is somewhere up the slope of a hill in town...
What i'm rather pleased with myself about is the fact that i finally got down to doing some forum posting today - yup that's two overly-long-drawn and confusing posts down, so at least i know i won't get 0 out of 10%. Was just thinking back to the annoying formalities that i encounter on forums and i came up with a perfect new one which i was so tempted to add in just to be a pain, but i decided to refrain - instead of "here's just my two cents' worth," i wanted to say "here's just my ten percent's worth..." But anyways, tomorrow i've to head back to school to catch a video on my laptop that is only accessible on campus. Too bad the lib is closed, so have to find some good secret place with a powerpoint where i can watch it - dang...
Ah well, whatever it is, i've come to realise that there really is no such thing as healthy food when it comes to cny stuff, save for maybe the mandarin oranges (which i don't really like anyways). Today i was searching the house for something to eat and found lots of stuff, but it all was unhealthy stuff like pineapple tarts, cookies with tons of butter, fatty bak kwa and the like... Yesterday's cny dinner featured a grand total of one healthy dish - a token plate of sliced cucumbers and cherry tomatoes, which i feel was palced there just to assure ourselves that we were eating our veggies. Even the yusheng, which at least without the fish is technically vegetarian, is full of unappetising and sodium-and-sugar-laden preserved thingies which i doubt are very healthy either... But i guess given that this year is the year of the pig (though of course i don't believe in such stuff), perhaps it's only apt that we pig out eh...
Oh and speaking of yusheng, thought that it was pretty funny when my brother, some of my cousins and me, all proudly ACS-educated, were thinking of suitable cheng(2) yu(3) to use when preparing it, just as the waitress does in the restaurant. "wu(3) yan(2) liu(4) se(4)", "luan(4) qi(1) ba(1) zao(1)" and "feng(1) he(2) ri(4) li(4)" were some of what came to mind =p - not bad actually rite, at least the first two can apply in this context rite...
Anyways, i decided to skip visiting in the afternoon today and get some rest, cos already after the first house i was feeling extremely sian and tired. I can't imagine that i once actually looked forward to all the stuff that we'd do during cny. Nowsaday, i'm just glad for the reprieve from school (and btw let me reiterate the fact that the clash of cny with the midterm break sucks big time), even if it means being subject to horrible cny music that relentlessly attacks my eardrums. Oops i digress. Woke up and went with Mark for our fortnightly ecp run, which was great though i'm still quite unfit at least when compared to before i left... Shucks i dunno what i'm gonna do for running (or cycling, for that matter) once i move to my new place, which is somewhere up the slope of a hill in town...
What i'm rather pleased with myself about is the fact that i finally got down to doing some forum posting today - yup that's two overly-long-drawn and confusing posts down, so at least i know i won't get 0 out of 10%. Was just thinking back to the annoying formalities that i encounter on forums and i came up with a perfect new one which i was so tempted to add in just to be a pain, but i decided to refrain - instead of "here's just my two cents' worth," i wanted to say "here's just my ten percent's worth..." But anyways, tomorrow i've to head back to school to catch a video on my laptop that is only accessible on campus. Too bad the lib is closed, so have to find some good secret place with a powerpoint where i can watch it - dang...
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Better late than never
Well i've talked at length before regarding my procrastination regarding getting work done, which has led to me now at midterm break realizing that there's a lot of stuff to do if i'm to get back on the path to academic excellence (haha that's so unrepresentative of the reality, but i just like the sound of it); but i've come to realize that this procrastinating streak in me extends to other areas as well.
One good piece of evidence in support of that is the fact that i just opened my Christmas presents. And not just this year's ones, but in fact some of last year's too. (With regards to last year's ones, i had just opened the flap of the wrapping to see what they were, but i did not actually take them out until today. Additionally, a week or so after coming back i opened up my drawers only to find a significant amount of $ inside - i then realized what they were: last year's CNY $, which i'd every intention of banking in last year but never got around to, eventually forgetting to do so and going off on exchange...
But anyways, i'm looking forward to this break. Of course not because of all the work that i've to do, but for the opportunity to relax just a bit and regroup for the second half of the sem, where hopefully the old academically-inclined matt (haha like real) will be back. It definitely helps that there's not much CNY stuff to do where my family is concerned, even my Chinese half of the family doesn't do much apart from the dinner tonight and the visiting of a grand total of one house tomorrow, which ought to be done by after lunch. Just as well cos i don't really like this holiday much - i'm the kind which left to his own devices wouldn't mind going around dressed head-to-toe in old black clothes throughout the fifteen days just to irk the more superstitious lot...
So in any case, i really have to get quite a bit of work done this break. The first item on my agenda is the much-delayed forum posting. I seriously hate doing this - everyone knows that if not for the participation grades no one would really care about it, but simply because it is graded there's this persistent open secret one-upmanship that goes on, whereby people are basically milking whatever teeny bit of opinion that they have for all its microbial worth (of course i can write this because when i finally do post my stuff on the forum, i'd merely be doing the same). Whatever it is though, those super fake-o formalities that everyone uses in their posts like "here's just my two cents worth"; "hope that i'm correct in saying this" and "these are just my humble opinions" are just so cringe-inducing to me. I guess i've to remind myself about the need to take work seriously, that God calls for us to adopt a spirit of excellence in whatever we do, for His glory.
What to do, where to go for holiday? Will i even have a holiday?
One good piece of evidence in support of that is the fact that i just opened my Christmas presents. And not just this year's ones, but in fact some of last year's too. (With regards to last year's ones, i had just opened the flap of the wrapping to see what they were, but i did not actually take them out until today. Additionally, a week or so after coming back i opened up my drawers only to find a significant amount of $ inside - i then realized what they were: last year's CNY $, which i'd every intention of banking in last year but never got around to, eventually forgetting to do so and going off on exchange...
But anyways, i'm looking forward to this break. Of course not because of all the work that i've to do, but for the opportunity to relax just a bit and regroup for the second half of the sem, where hopefully the old academically-inclined matt (haha like real) will be back. It definitely helps that there's not much CNY stuff to do where my family is concerned, even my Chinese half of the family doesn't do much apart from the dinner tonight and the visiting of a grand total of one house tomorrow, which ought to be done by after lunch. Just as well cos i don't really like this holiday much - i'm the kind which left to his own devices wouldn't mind going around dressed head-to-toe in old black clothes throughout the fifteen days just to irk the more superstitious lot...
So in any case, i really have to get quite a bit of work done this break. The first item on my agenda is the much-delayed forum posting. I seriously hate doing this - everyone knows that if not for the participation grades no one would really care about it, but simply because it is graded there's this persistent open secret one-upmanship that goes on, whereby people are basically milking whatever teeny bit of opinion that they have for all its microbial worth (of course i can write this because when i finally do post my stuff on the forum, i'd merely be doing the same). Whatever it is though, those super fake-o formalities that everyone uses in their posts like "here's just my two cents worth"; "hope that i'm correct in saying this" and "these are just my humble opinions" are just so cringe-inducing to me. I guess i've to remind myself about the need to take work seriously, that God calls for us to adopt a spirit of excellence in whatever we do, for His glory.
What to do, where to go for holiday? Will i even have a holiday?
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Ready to make nice
Have been trying to get back on the road toward academic excellence (ok, that's pushing it quite a bit heh =p) as of late, and positive results have been rather limited in their appearance, and very gradual too. Yes this weekend was perhaps the most productive weekend i've had since coming back, but that being said i still ended up being toot enough to totally screw up preparations for a midterm on mon such that i'm pretty certain it'll be my worst-scoring history test ever. And where other classes are concerned, i've still heaps of readings to do, a massive number of forum postings to read and contribute towards, and seemingly endless prep for term papers and what not that i've barely even noticed up till this point. Yeah the outlook at this point studies wise is still far from good, but thankfully i'm fully aware of the situation now and so we'll see how that goes by God's grace...
So anyways this by and large meant that the past two days have not been very good for me - was feeling super tired throughout, enough to make me not realise i was eating my dandan mian with the wrong end of the pair of wooden chopsticks. Have also seriously come close to falling asleep during class, and as a result never have i missed the arts canteen (and its 40 cents kopi-o, of which merely taking a deep whiff of it was enough to wake me up) so much... The attractiveness of a room on campus has never been greater i tell you - just imagine two extra hours to play with every weekday...
Ironically though, i felt most energetic just now when after ft we went and played capture the flag - had really great fun, and it reminded me of when i played it back at UNC. Too bad in the darkness as i was running away from Evan cos i had been caught snooping round her zone, i ended up running into the nylon ropes and wooden sticks that they use to put up some kind of barrier for some small trees, breaking a stick in the process, not to mention cutting and scraping myself pretty badly on my right inner elbow joint. Nothing serious though, and i'd definitely want to play again sometime...
I know that you know what we know...
And yay for the Dixie Chicks =) After all that boycott nonsense, this sure is a way to go...
for what it's worth, happy Valentines...
So anyways this by and large meant that the past two days have not been very good for me - was feeling super tired throughout, enough to make me not realise i was eating my dandan mian with the wrong end of the pair of wooden chopsticks. Have also seriously come close to falling asleep during class, and as a result never have i missed the arts canteen (and its 40 cents kopi-o, of which merely taking a deep whiff of it was enough to wake me up) so much... The attractiveness of a room on campus has never been greater i tell you - just imagine two extra hours to play with every weekday...
Ironically though, i felt most energetic just now when after ft we went and played capture the flag - had really great fun, and it reminded me of when i played it back at UNC. Too bad in the darkness as i was running away from Evan cos i had been caught snooping round her zone, i ended up running into the nylon ropes and wooden sticks that they use to put up some kind of barrier for some small trees, breaking a stick in the process, not to mention cutting and scraping myself pretty badly on my right inner elbow joint. Nothing serious though, and i'd definitely want to play again sometime...
I know that you know what we know...
And yay for the Dixie Chicks =) After all that boycott nonsense, this sure is a way to go...
for what it's worth, happy Valentines...
Friday, February 09, 2007
tiredness and opportunities
Fwah just now's captain's ball/ultimate was uber tiring can - after we were finished i had to go over to the library to get some readings for monday's test zapped, and so i had to get the books from rbr. After i zapped and returned the first book, i put in my next request slip and waited for the next book. After i got it i went over to the photocopying room and put my cashcard in, all ready to zap the necessary pages, when i took a closer look and realized that i had the same book that was in my hands just minutes before - in my saaa-ness (sp?) i had submitted the same rbr request slip for a second time in a row! Diao - well at least at the end of the day i got that settled. Two side notes: 1) after two-and-a-half years at nus i finally realized that there was a monitor located right next to the rbr bookdrop that listed whether your book had successfully been accepted by the machine; and 2) there was a certain nice photocopy room staff that was kind enough to instruct me in some of the ways to make my zapping jobs easier - never knew there was such a thing as a landscape function - always thought that the paper select tray labelled "A4 R" was simply for recycled paper heh...
But anyways, back to the captain's ball/ultimate we had just now - had a great time even if now i'm feeling really without much energy left in me. Haven't played games like that since UNC - where i was so bad in comparison to all the Americans that they sort of gave me face and applauded whenever i made a block or caught the frisbee successfully - so paiseh can. Anyways my 'American training' didn't have much positive impact on my skill level cos my standard was just about the same as ever but in any case the important thing is good fun and fellowship rite...
Was quite cool today cos i had originally planned to get to school by ten am so as to get some work done before class at two. But as i was in the bus i got a text from a friend from esc last sem, he was asking for language help for an essay that he had to write. Well to cut a long story short my original plan to get some work done from ten to two was aborted in favor of spending time suggesting improvements in the essay and also to catch up and talk about lots of stuff. What was particularly cool was that the topic of the essay that he had to write was on Christianity, so he was asking me some questions about that, and when he did ask questions about that i was like "ok if this isn't an opportunity provided by God i also dunno what is..." so by God's grace He gave me the words to say in sharing more about my faith with him - aiyah long story lah, and don't want to say so much as well, but basically i thank God again for this opportunity and all that has come out of it...
This being said however, i'm still sticking to my initiative to take all the work that i've to do more seriously, so along this line as i've mentioned earlier do ask me what i'm up to if you see me around and i appear to be wasting the hours away instead of doing more constructive things...
But anyways, back to the captain's ball/ultimate we had just now - had a great time even if now i'm feeling really without much energy left in me. Haven't played games like that since UNC - where i was so bad in comparison to all the Americans that they sort of gave me face and applauded whenever i made a block or caught the frisbee successfully - so paiseh can. Anyways my 'American training' didn't have much positive impact on my skill level cos my standard was just about the same as ever but in any case the important thing is good fun and fellowship rite...
Was quite cool today cos i had originally planned to get to school by ten am so as to get some work done before class at two. But as i was in the bus i got a text from a friend from esc last sem, he was asking for language help for an essay that he had to write. Well to cut a long story short my original plan to get some work done from ten to two was aborted in favor of spending time suggesting improvements in the essay and also to catch up and talk about lots of stuff. What was particularly cool was that the topic of the essay that he had to write was on Christianity, so he was asking me some questions about that, and when he did ask questions about that i was like "ok if this isn't an opportunity provided by God i also dunno what is..." so by God's grace He gave me the words to say in sharing more about my faith with him - aiyah long story lah, and don't want to say so much as well, but basically i thank God again for this opportunity and all that has come out of it...
This being said however, i'm still sticking to my initiative to take all the work that i've to do more seriously, so along this line as i've mentioned earlier do ask me what i'm up to if you see me around and i appear to be wasting the hours away instead of doing more constructive things...
work worries
Hmm only after posting the last post did i remember that my purpose of posting it was to note it being a month since i got back so here's mention of it just for the record...
Well it's been a good day for the Tar Heels, we both beat the hated Duke in basketball and apparently got a very good recruiting class for football. Guess i care more for the former since at least i can see the ball and roughly understand what's going on when i watch a basketball match compared to the relative cluelessness that is a given for me whenever i watch a football game. (in fact probably would have had no clue regarding the occurence of the latter if not for Greg - last season's football really turned me off...). Guess whatever it is this bodes well for the rest of the basketball season, and hopefully for the years to come for football (any season can be better than the crap one we had when i was there). Apparently there's a really big impromptu celebration that takes place on the street where my hall is located every time after we beat Duke - too bad i missed that...
But alas, these feelings of sentimentality over my UNC experience have unfortunately in part translated into a total lack of enthusiasm and motivation to get down to doing schoolwork that sorely needs to be done. Think that to a certain extent i've used all the stuff that's been weighing on my mind recently as an excuse to not get bothered about the work that has to be done. But was just browsing through some of my course ivle pages as of late and i then realized the sheer amount of work to be done that i've been blissfully unaware of up till this point - stuff from the pesky but nevertheless obligatory forum postings to tests that i had conveniently forgot about to stacks of readings that have already been printed but remain untouched since the day of their printing to essays and other written assignments that are due just after the midterm break. Yes this is a heck of a lot of work, and even with my grumblings about the total sian-ness that i've felt towards work here since coming back taken into full consideration; this really cannot be the way to go for me in the long run.
Yup so with that in mind don't mind me or take it personally if i seem to be appearing withdrawn when you next see me, or physically withdrawing myself from where i usually may be found, depending on the amount of work that i need to get done and how much distractions i can tahan at that point in time. Chances are however that unless it seriously gets too distracting for me and/or the mercury really starts to rise, i'll probably still hang in the forum. Do me a favor though, and nag me to get started on work if you see me wasting time in one way or other (which is in all likelihood a high probability)...
Well it's been a good day for the Tar Heels, we both beat the hated Duke in basketball and apparently got a very good recruiting class for football. Guess i care more for the former since at least i can see the ball and roughly understand what's going on when i watch a basketball match compared to the relative cluelessness that is a given for me whenever i watch a football game. (in fact probably would have had no clue regarding the occurence of the latter if not for Greg - last season's football really turned me off...). Guess whatever it is this bodes well for the rest of the basketball season, and hopefully for the years to come for football (any season can be better than the crap one we had when i was there). Apparently there's a really big impromptu celebration that takes place on the street where my hall is located every time after we beat Duke - too bad i missed that...
But alas, these feelings of sentimentality over my UNC experience have unfortunately in part translated into a total lack of enthusiasm and motivation to get down to doing schoolwork that sorely needs to be done. Think that to a certain extent i've used all the stuff that's been weighing on my mind recently as an excuse to not get bothered about the work that has to be done. But was just browsing through some of my course ivle pages as of late and i then realized the sheer amount of work to be done that i've been blissfully unaware of up till this point - stuff from the pesky but nevertheless obligatory forum postings to tests that i had conveniently forgot about to stacks of readings that have already been printed but remain untouched since the day of their printing to essays and other written assignments that are due just after the midterm break. Yes this is a heck of a lot of work, and even with my grumblings about the total sian-ness that i've felt towards work here since coming back taken into full consideration; this really cannot be the way to go for me in the long run.
Yup so with that in mind don't mind me or take it personally if i seem to be appearing withdrawn when you next see me, or physically withdrawing myself from where i usually may be found, depending on the amount of work that i need to get done and how much distractions i can tahan at that point in time. Chances are however that unless it seriously gets too distracting for me and/or the mercury really starts to rise, i'll probably still hang in the forum. Do me a favor though, and nag me to get started on work if you see me wasting time in one way or other (which is in all likelihood a high probability)...
Monday, February 05, 2007
mixed bag
My mind is in what recently has come to be its default mode which is basically chockful of scrambled thoughts so the following is just whatever is off the top of my head...
My house is almost empty for the week, with my parents being in KK (Sabah, not the hospital) for a provincial Anglican pastors' retreat thingy and my brother being away on reservist (which makes me shudder as to when my turn may come). Only ones left are my grandmother and Bingo. Nice to have things somewhat more quiet around here for a change - haven't been having enough quiet moments like this since i've been back...
Well bummer, the Tar Heels lost again, just when i thought we were on the upswing - it's complacency i tell you. Consolation however lies in the news that Duke lost too haha. But in any case, i'm quite amazed at how a couple of months over there can leave me now doing what last time i'd consider to be the unimaginable act of checking out the latest NCAA and NBA scores online on a very regular basis. Scary eh. And since i've become a basketball fan (and boy is it weird even just typing that), it stinks having won tickets to games but not being able to use them. At least i've friends there who can use my tics, but as selfless as i could be, i still would love to be able to catch the game...
Checked my frequent flyer miles - it turns out that i've suffered enough on United over the past few years to be eligible for a free round trip on SQ to as far as places like Istanbul, Cape Town, Cairo or Auckland. Probably will not have time to use them before some of them expire in July though, at least not to places that are so far away, so may settle for Manila or somewhere else nice in the region itself, and use the rest of the miles that still are not to expire for a while another time. Who wants to go somewhere before July? Need to find people to travel with...
I was quietly laughing to myself and grinning widely when i read the article in the papers about businesses not being able to play CNY cds without having first to pay loyalties. Apparently depending on the size of the business fees can reach four-figure sums! Hopefully this means that i'll be hearing far less tacky noise this time round...
Saturday saw me fall asleep from 7 till 11:30pm and again from around 1 till 8:30am, methinks due to accumulated lack of sleep over the week and a general tiredness on many levels. There's just been so much going on that i haven't really had time to sit back and take a breather i guess. Thank God for people He's brought round for me to talk about all this stuff with - things are slowly getting better for me partly as a result of this... However let me again emphasize the word "slowly", though i suppose it's on all counts better than not at all... The need for a better grasp of the concept of God's timing comes across so strongly in times like this...
Wish that self-recharging would come as easily as it does for my cellphone...
My house is almost empty for the week, with my parents being in KK (Sabah, not the hospital) for a provincial Anglican pastors' retreat thingy and my brother being away on reservist (which makes me shudder as to when my turn may come). Only ones left are my grandmother and Bingo. Nice to have things somewhat more quiet around here for a change - haven't been having enough quiet moments like this since i've been back...
Well bummer, the Tar Heels lost again, just when i thought we were on the upswing - it's complacency i tell you. Consolation however lies in the news that Duke lost too haha. But in any case, i'm quite amazed at how a couple of months over there can leave me now doing what last time i'd consider to be the unimaginable act of checking out the latest NCAA and NBA scores online on a very regular basis. Scary eh. And since i've become a basketball fan (and boy is it weird even just typing that), it stinks having won tickets to games but not being able to use them. At least i've friends there who can use my tics, but as selfless as i could be, i still would love to be able to catch the game...
Checked my frequent flyer miles - it turns out that i've suffered enough on United over the past few years to be eligible for a free round trip on SQ to as far as places like Istanbul, Cape Town, Cairo or Auckland. Probably will not have time to use them before some of them expire in July though, at least not to places that are so far away, so may settle for Manila or somewhere else nice in the region itself, and use the rest of the miles that still are not to expire for a while another time. Who wants to go somewhere before July? Need to find people to travel with...
I was quietly laughing to myself and grinning widely when i read the article in the papers about businesses not being able to play CNY cds without having first to pay loyalties. Apparently depending on the size of the business fees can reach four-figure sums! Hopefully this means that i'll be hearing far less tacky noise this time round...
Saturday saw me fall asleep from 7 till 11:30pm and again from around 1 till 8:30am, methinks due to accumulated lack of sleep over the week and a general tiredness on many levels. There's just been so much going on that i haven't really had time to sit back and take a breather i guess. Thank God for people He's brought round for me to talk about all this stuff with - things are slowly getting better for me partly as a result of this... However let me again emphasize the word "slowly", though i suppose it's on all counts better than not at all... The need for a better grasp of the concept of God's timing comes across so strongly in times like this...
Wish that self-recharging would come as easily as it does for my cellphone...
Sunday, February 04, 2007
말씀하시면
주님 말씀하시면 내가 나아가리다
주님 뜻이 아니면 내가 멈춰서리다
나의 가고 서는 것 주님 뜻에 있으니
오 주님 나를 이끄소서
주님 뜻하신 그곳에 나 있기 원합니다
이끄시는대로 순종하며 살리니
연약한 내 영혼 통하여 일하소서
주님 나라와 그 뜻을 위하여
ok, apart from the cheap thrill of posting in a foreign language with a foreign script, the lyrics of this song are really meaningful and relevant to me at this point in time - quick summary in English: "Lord, may i follow You in whatever i do"
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Cathartic randomness
hokays randomness awaits - am just killing time cos don't feel like sleeping yet but definitely don't feel like getting any work done either...
Crossroads - well after an initial total lack of interest in going i figured that i should go after all, not so much because i'm graduating (since i ain't) but really to get a little more in touch with VCF after being away for a sem, which if you haven't realized yet has made me feeling quite blur and detached whenever i've attended any VCF activities that entail participation from people outside my cg.
Well, i went and at the end of the day while i did become a tad bit less blur and feel less detached the blurness and detachment still remains so i guess that motive remained relatively unfulfilled. Didn't help that the same old issues kept on running through my mind which sort of made me somewhat off at times. But all that being said, Crossroads was great for me in other ways that i didn't really think about when i signed up such as getting a wider perspective of the implications of being a Christian teacher and principles and habits that would be very apt when observed both now and when i do graduate and start teaching eventually (which in retrospect was rather silly since these later issues are somewhat rather expected given the nature of Crossroads to begin with) And time spent alone with God while i was there was great too i guess, at times painful but still great at the end of the day...
Been affected greatly by noise pollution this past week in the form of excessively loud and annoying forum events and the usual peskiness that is tv mobile. Between seriously cannot-make-it bands that are unintentionally humorous, bizarre eating contests with bad food and worse hosts, and dancing demonstrations by weirdly and skimpily-attired people, the forum has proved to be a one times useless study venue this past week. And for tv mobile, if i hear "true colors" or "fly me to the moon" one more time, i almost will feel like i've no other choice but to make that tv mobile really mobile - by hurling the screen out of the bus window, that is...
One thing i'm thankful for is being blessed with nice people for the two project/discussion groups that i'm in - that makes the torture that is group work less tortuous. And also for the Lord preserving me through my first ever even week with full tutorial load, which sees me finishing fourteen of my sixteen hours of class that week by tuesday 6pm. Thas has also added more fuel to my tentative plan to try and get a room on campus next year cos methinks am getting too tired easily and old for having to spend two hours a day travelling to and from school when the time could be spent doing work instead (ok, more like sleeping lah =p) and i'll need all the time i can get if i'll be as busy as i think i'll be next sem...
Am still bummed over the fact that over this past week there has taken place at UNC: 1) snow; 2) two nights of Rent being performed by the US touring cast at Memorial Hall, of which student tickets were going at really good prices while i was there; 3) an awesome 105 - 64 Tar Heels victory over Miami of which i had won riser seats to but of course which i had to relinquish to Greg since there was no way i'd be able to use them for myself; 4) $1 biscuits at Bojangles since we crossed the 100 point barrier. Yup i guess i've reached the point of realization that i'll probably always miss the place and wish i was there to at least some degree for quite some time to come - especially when compared to the seemingly eternal sian-ness that i'm feeling back here - have to learn to deal with it and not get all mopey so frequently...
And i've also realized that i really appreciate and treasure it whenever people just ask me how i'm doing since i've been back, guess mainly since catharsis is very therapeutic for me in the sense of pulling me out of the partially self-imposed rut that i find myself in nowsaday... Yup so if you're reading this you know what to do, and i thank you in advance, for bearing with listening to stuff that is probably not very interesting to you in the first place - yeah it really does help...
later...
Crossroads - well after an initial total lack of interest in going i figured that i should go after all, not so much because i'm graduating (since i ain't) but really to get a little more in touch with VCF after being away for a sem, which if you haven't realized yet has made me feeling quite blur and detached whenever i've attended any VCF activities that entail participation from people outside my cg.
Well, i went and at the end of the day while i did become a tad bit less blur and feel less detached the blurness and detachment still remains so i guess that motive remained relatively unfulfilled. Didn't help that the same old issues kept on running through my mind which sort of made me somewhat off at times. But all that being said, Crossroads was great for me in other ways that i didn't really think about when i signed up such as getting a wider perspective of the implications of being a Christian teacher and principles and habits that would be very apt when observed both now and when i do graduate and start teaching eventually (which in retrospect was rather silly since these later issues are somewhat rather expected given the nature of Crossroads to begin with) And time spent alone with God while i was there was great too i guess, at times painful but still great at the end of the day...
Been affected greatly by noise pollution this past week in the form of excessively loud and annoying forum events and the usual peskiness that is tv mobile. Between seriously cannot-make-it bands that are unintentionally humorous, bizarre eating contests with bad food and worse hosts, and dancing demonstrations by weirdly and skimpily-attired people, the forum has proved to be a one times useless study venue this past week. And for tv mobile, if i hear "true colors" or "fly me to the moon" one more time, i almost will feel like i've no other choice but to make that tv mobile really mobile - by hurling the screen out of the bus window, that is...
One thing i'm thankful for is being blessed with nice people for the two project/discussion groups that i'm in - that makes the torture that is group work less tortuous. And also for the Lord preserving me through my first ever even week with full tutorial load, which sees me finishing fourteen of my sixteen hours of class that week by tuesday 6pm. Thas has also added more fuel to my tentative plan to try and get a room on campus next year cos methinks am getting too tired easily and old for having to spend two hours a day travelling to and from school when the time could be spent doing work instead (ok, more like sleeping lah =p) and i'll need all the time i can get if i'll be as busy as i think i'll be next sem...
Am still bummed over the fact that over this past week there has taken place at UNC: 1) snow; 2) two nights of Rent being performed by the US touring cast at Memorial Hall, of which student tickets were going at really good prices while i was there; 3) an awesome 105 - 64 Tar Heels victory over Miami of which i had won riser seats to but of course which i had to relinquish to Greg since there was no way i'd be able to use them for myself; 4) $1 biscuits at Bojangles since we crossed the 100 point barrier. Yup i guess i've reached the point of realization that i'll probably always miss the place and wish i was there to at least some degree for quite some time to come - especially when compared to the seemingly eternal sian-ness that i'm feeling back here - have to learn to deal with it and not get all mopey so frequently...
And i've also realized that i really appreciate and treasure it whenever people just ask me how i'm doing since i've been back, guess mainly since catharsis is very therapeutic for me in the sense of pulling me out of the partially self-imposed rut that i find myself in nowsaday... Yup so if you're reading this you know what to do, and i thank you in advance, for bearing with listening to stuff that is probably not very interesting to you in the first place - yeah it really does help...
later...
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