(and i know that this is like a total turn-around from what i posted yesterday - but it's the truth)
Must have woken up on the wrong side of bed today, cos i felt extremely crappy...
Woke up late - 7:10am - which meant that the perfect, early start to the day that i had envisioned in my head would not come to pass.
And knowing me, once something's messed up, the rest of the thing will mess up too
Made my way to the bus stop (after hearing my father for the first time that i can remember remark that i looked sleepy - which meant that i must have looked horrible) and waited there for 20 minutes while three 12s, one 14, two 32s, one 40 and one 608 came, before two 10s came trundling along (thankfully it was a double-decker or i think i would have screamed)
Got to school at five to nine, which meant that i couldn't detour to the library to deposit bag and chope seat...
After our time of prayer and praise (one of the few good things about the day - but then again i obviously wasn't all there hence the general crappiness of the time following), went back to the library to find it full. Of course there was space, but i am the kind who must have everything just so - i.e. an empty table, or at the least empty chairs at a not so empty table, and dunno why i just started to feel very anti... Yup i don't like crowds, but just now i really felt rather abhorrent of the whole sea of humanity, just felt like i needed to escape it all, so i decided to retreat to the engin bridge. Seriously dunno what got over me...
Was fairly productive there, by God's grace, in spite of all the bad stuff that was hovering in my mind - wasn't at all bothered by the buses below or the noisy people walking to and fro
Lunch with Daniel and Seng Wee was another better moment - though methinks i still was wearing a black face there and then...
Went back to the bridge, but it soon started to rain and it was pattering down on my notes, so i made another long journey to the yih canteen - which i realise isn't all that bad a studying place - better lighting and seats than arts canteen - less stifling and crowded than the library - and kopi o nearby too - all i ever needed... But i still had these horrible things in me, which i honestly i can't explain further cos also dunno how...
Was praying intermittently for the Lord to ease these feelings - after one of those prayers i looked up and out of the window to see a big banner proclaiming:
Must have woken up on the wrong side of bed today, cos i felt extremely crappy...
Woke up late - 7:10am - which meant that the perfect, early start to the day that i had envisioned in my head would not come to pass.
And knowing me, once something's messed up, the rest of the thing will mess up too
Made my way to the bus stop (after hearing my father for the first time that i can remember remark that i looked sleepy - which meant that i must have looked horrible) and waited there for 20 minutes while three 12s, one 14, two 32s, one 40 and one 608 came, before two 10s came trundling along (thankfully it was a double-decker or i think i would have screamed)
Got to school at five to nine, which meant that i couldn't detour to the library to deposit bag and chope seat...
After our time of prayer and praise (one of the few good things about the day - but then again i obviously wasn't all there hence the general crappiness of the time following), went back to the library to find it full. Of course there was space, but i am the kind who must have everything just so - i.e. an empty table, or at the least empty chairs at a not so empty table, and dunno why i just started to feel very anti... Yup i don't like crowds, but just now i really felt rather abhorrent of the whole sea of humanity, just felt like i needed to escape it all, so i decided to retreat to the engin bridge. Seriously dunno what got over me...
Was fairly productive there, by God's grace, in spite of all the bad stuff that was hovering in my mind - wasn't at all bothered by the buses below or the noisy people walking to and fro
Lunch with Daniel and Seng Wee was another better moment - though methinks i still was wearing a black face there and then...
Went back to the bridge, but it soon started to rain and it was pattering down on my notes, so i made another long journey to the yih canteen - which i realise isn't all that bad a studying place - better lighting and seats than arts canteen - less stifling and crowded than the library - and kopi o nearby too - all i ever needed... But i still had these horrible things in me, which i honestly i can't explain further cos also dunno how...
Was praying intermittently for the Lord to ease these feelings - after one of those prayers i looked up and out of the window to see a big banner proclaiming:
SUBWAY - Opening Soon!
And while it sounds sooooo superficial, i really was to a certain extent cheered up after seeing that (already can picture my first purchase - footlong meatball on parmesan oregano with all the veggies except onions, capsicum and cucumber, extra jalepeños please). [i also am not inferring that the Lord provided that as the answer to my prayer - but think was all in His sense of humour]
Anyway, something tells me that i'll be in yih a whole lot more next time... And hence be a whole lot more broke too... Ah, but at least it's healthy, so hopefully won't be a whole lot fatter too... (but hey, there's plenty of time for that one when i am in the states...)
Ya lah, so after that i went back to the arts canteen and gradually warmed up to more of the people around, now quite ok lah...
But seriously, i dunno what's gotten over me the past week or so - relatively inexplicable general negativity has been plaguing me - and it's quite an on/off thing too - just like how yesterday was all roses, then the thorns appeared today. Don't want to speculate as to what's going on lah, but i do know that whatever it is that i am not alone...
Yup dunno how the rest of the study break and exam week will turn out, but don't mind me if i am less visible than i would otherwise be - feel that i need a whole lot more time to myself nowsaday then before. Will still go down for morning prayer and praise and other stuff though...
Apologies to anyone whom i may have rubbed the wrong way over the course of this past week owing to the aforementioned stuff - think if i were you i'd be rather peeved...
And thanks to all the dear friends around who've noticed and encouraged =)
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