So i finally got myself down to seriously considering what modules to bid for, which i reckon is quite a wise thing to do considering that round zero (though i don't fully understand what it's all about) begins at 9am tomorrow morning...
And it's such a headache!!! Goodness, i seriously don't remember being in such a maniacal state during the last two bidding exercises... [Actually come to think of it, maybe i've just subconciously suppressed (gosh i actually just forgot how to spell that word - needed to double-check at www.dictionary.com, my mind has really been laying idle for far too long... in any case, is the correct word suppressed or repressed? -- It's official, i've become a bodoh...) all those bad memories in the back of my mind.
It's especially painful to see how my dream schedule of fridays off and no exams in december is most probably not to be, since one of the history modules that Sida has recommended me to take, which also is the most promising option for me for a level 3 module, has both a friday lecture slot and an exam on 1st december, which is in the afternoon furthermore, which means i'll be one of the last to finish... I also will probably be having an exam on my birthday too... What a bummer...
I also realise how lazy i've become when it comes to what modules to choose... I was suddenly so turned off by many of the modules that i initially had an interest in solely due to the fact that the module description on the ivle was rather alarming, in the sense that they listed so many things to do... Gosh, i miss the days of exposure modules, when the assessment was merely class participation, maybe the odd test or essay here and there, and the final exam. Nowadays, i have to contend with stuff like movie reviews, graded journalling, field trips and all sorts of other yuck stuff that my lazy self would rather not do... Of course, since there's not much choice left anymore, i will probably have to choose some of these dreaded modules. Anyway, i feel that i have been challenged by the Lord to get out of my comfort zone in so many different aspects, and this, i guess is one way that i can do just that.
No clue have i as to what cross fac module to take as well... I've alerady more or less decided upon roughly what i'll bid for in terms of my arts modules (two level 2 hy, one level 3 hy, one level 2 el) but dunno what to do for the dreaded cross fac module... I really can't stand doing non arts modules, and i really don't see how i could have gotten through my As if the policy of having to do at least one subject from outside your fac was around during my time. If i had ever thought otherwise, i was brought back down to earth rather abrubtly when i saw my B grade for science of music last sem... bleah....
Another thing that is weighing on my mind is my personal drive to do much better this upcoming sem after the wasted opportunity that was last sem. Honestly, i really want to see my cap to go way up there, but i know that my motivations are totally wrong. Perhaps God was teaching me a lesson for thinking that way even though i outwardly kept on saying that it was not about the results, by allowing for my cap to slip by 0.3. On the one hand i am pleased to see so many of those around me doing well, but there still is a tiny part of me that wants those results for myself... I definitely see it as an ongoing struggle, one of my Achilles' heels if you may, but whatever it is, it's certainly somethingthat i have to pray very hard about...
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