back at church again

Maybe that title's not entirely accurate since i never left church to begin with, but that's somehow how i feel after church today.

To cut a long story short, and since some people reading this would already know the whole story about what i've been doing in church over the past year or so, basically, today was the first week i attended church after the whole slew of VCF activities over the holidays had finally ended. Before this, much of my weekly attendance in church during most of the holiday period merely consisted of attending the service, then zao-ing to go home (which is just next door anyway =) either to do stuff related to some of the CF activities, or to rest after having spent the whole previous day doing the stuff related to the CF activities...

After having basically done that for a couple of months at least, i decided to stay for my youth cell, which is right after service, since i had no more stuff to prepare for now, as well as realising that i have really been too under-involved as of late...

Anyway, i really feel that today, the Lord was telling me that after such a long period of being rather invisible where church is concerned, that i had to get back into the whole flow of things. I prayed that i wouldn't feel so out of place, cos i really have hardly been around at church stuff as of late, and He definitely saw me through. First, he got Daniel Vai to ask me if i was going for cell, to which i responded yes, which meant that there would be no chickening out later. Then, could definitely feel the closeness of His presence during the time of worship, it just felt so awesome and overwhelming, i even was tearing away again (with enough tears to rival yesterday's onion cutting episode) while singing the songs, which somehow ministered to me much more than usual. I couldn't help but feel that He was assuring me that He would help me overcome any reservations that i might have had about going for cell again after so long...

So i went for cell in the end, and emerged greatly blessed by the time that i spent there. Any inhibitions that i might have felt prior to it were soon gone. The Lord even has blessed the cell with a couple of new members while i was absent, and it was so cool to see all of us actively contributing to the discussion.

I really thank God for His calm assurance when i was asking myself several "what ifs?" regarding church prior to today, as well as for erasing any potential doubts i might have faced regarding my role in church. Also for every single member of cell-u-lights for being such a blessing to my life. I will definitely aim to be a better cell-u-light from now on. =)