so i was thinking of delaying typing this to tomorrow morning - but knowing me and my (severly deficient) data retention system, i figured that i'm better off reflecting now [ahem, and also because i just realised that my missionary biography review is due tomorrow and i'm only like a few chapters into the book as i type this, and i figured there's no way i can complete the book and the review before tomorrow, so shall instead do something that is more feasible to complete...]...
well, i did share some reflections just now, but as usual my extremely slow data processing system meant that a lot of what i wanted to say was not said since had no time to think about it so i shall maybe say some of it here if i can still remember it.
yup basically was very much looking forward to this camp, at the least since it provided a good opportunity for me to attend a cf camp as an ordinary camper and nothing more (my second chance to do this after last year's ANNTIC) because, as i shared, being an ordinary camper allows for much better data absorption since you are not so bothered with duties and what not (of course i am not saying that you should only attend a camp as an ordinary camper because taking up some kind of role has its own great benefits too), especially so in between periods of extreme activity (MEET trip, SEP prep, teaching, SEP itself) - the camp provided a little respite of sorts, whereby i had no way to be distracted by email checking and all that nonsense. And maybe the fact that i'm flying off so soon added to the whole relaxed atmosphere for me...
Of course, now i realise that in anticipation of the camp, i had not once ever expected anything from the teaching - or in fact given the teaching and the theme little if any thought. Well thankfully the Lord had different ideas and used his servant Edmund to minister in very deep ways to myself (and i believe every other camper too). Things that i often tended to ignore and not give a second thought about doing(or a first thought, for that matter), like eating sweets and candy bars in the library suddenly came back to slap me in the face as i realised that even for these leetle things are still in their own leetle ways means of disregarding authority figures. Additionally, at the moment when he was talking about that, i chuckled to myself when i thought about the many times when the question "Shall i jaywalk or not?" when i am at the crossing is answered in my head with "well, that depends upon whether you are wearing a Christian shirt, isn't it?". Well, that answer is wrong, the correct answer HAS to be a big flat NO... Hmmm... And these are but two of the myriad things that in fact all add up to one huge level of mediocre holiness. At the heart of holiness is obedience - and my disobediance in these things that i brush aside as merely trivial is simply unacceptable in God's eyes...
The Lord also challenged me with regards to my over-indulgence in the features of my own comfort zone - in areas such as interactions with other people - whereby i tend to shy away from unfamiliar people and all the more from so-called unloveable people. Well, now i am reminded that all of us, of course with myself included, really ought to have been unloveable in God's eyes because of our inherent sinful nature, which cannot coexist with God in His holiness. Of course, even in our own unlovable-ness, God still in His amazing love sent His Son Jesus Christ to die on the cross to redeem us from our sins - n act of grace so undeserved considering how unloveable we actually should have been in God's eyes. And so, who am i to ignore God's example and brush off such unfamiliar and unloveable people? It's a great challenge, that's for sure, but again as i always say (and you can never say too much of this) ultimately it is not up to us to put in all our own effort in doing this because it counts for nothing - the attitude of humility and total surrender to God is what is needed, for only He is able to surmount our human weaknesses (for His power is made perfect in our weakness - 2 Cor 12:9)...
Also with regards to evangelism, to be more aware of the situations that God has placed me in and to be more convicted of the spiritual reality of those who do not yet know Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Saviour - that they will spend an eternity apart from Him. Even in the little things - how can i show myself to others to be a Christian - and possibly from there to share the gospel? It can be through simple things like wearing a Christian shirt (and not jaywalking whle wearing it haha) when you go and meet up with friends (which is by the way what i intend to do for my primary 6 class reunion on sunday night...) or through subtly dropping Christian stuff into conversations or emails or things like that... And of course to actively and consistently pray for my pre-believer friends...
Oh well, apart from some of the things that the Lord challenged me with in the course of the theme talks, there also were the worship sessions which once again really spoke to me - i can honestly say that no session passed without me wiping my eyes - because the Lord was reminding me through the songs and through other means of the great harvest field that we have even in campus (and by implication the ultra-enormous harvest field beyond campus) and how His desire is for all these people to be like us and sing from our hearts songs of praise to our God. I was sharing a lot about taking spiritual ownership of campus - but i suppose that given that evangelism forms an essential part of taking this spiritual ownership, that perhaps i'd be like Mr Black Pot talking to an audience of kettles... The vision of the multitudes from all nations endlessly praising His name in Revelation - we have a part to play in the eventual fulfillment of that - but what is done in response to my recognition of this?
On a less serious note, the camp also provided for me the opportunity to get to meet many new people, both freshies and seniors - since this time i was not occupied with organizing games here and writing a song there [of course, even among the new people, certain familiar things remained - for example - if i threw a stone at random, chances are i'd hit an ACSian (though, knowing my throwing skills, possibly not because of the sheer abundance of ACSians, but rather because i'd somehow hit myself instead =p)] My group Moses was filled with a great and somewhat diverse bunch of people, most of whom i either did not know or was only merely somewhat acquainted with prior to the camp - i always lament as to how during cf camps i always seem to be put into groups where i do not know most of the other people - but now i realise that perhaps this is God's way of - as mentioned earlier - making me get out of my puny comfort zone and be in a way forced to get to know unfamiliar people. Well I am really glad to have met and known every single person in my group, and i thank God for each of them =) A minor regret perhaps is having to be away to do annoying SEP stuff on the first day such that i didn't get to be around for a good portion of the icebreakers and perhaps know more about them... Also, of course to see so many cf people for the first time since i came back - that was great too... And also i felt rather encouraged to see many of the ex-freshies step up to serve as comm members and ogls and what not - it's like the passing on of the baton - which of course also makes me feel really old *bleah* But seriously, their enthusiasm and energy is really very heartening to see =)
The unfamiliar bed syndrome struck again during the camp - i found myself taking quite some time to fall asleep even though i was dead tired every night, and always woke up hours before sunrise. Of course i looked forward to this so that i could go for a pre-dawn run (ippt two weeks away and counting) since at home my bed is way too welcoming for me to even think of waking up early to run. Good to get some exercise - because i seriously am quite worried about the silly thing itself - even to merely pass... But i digress... Anyway, the wake up meant early run which meant early shower which meant early and longer quiet time, which i really appreciated - MEET trip made me realise that i was not spending enough time in personal prayer time with God - tried to do more of this during FOC to limited success - worked for a while this morning but i was too sleepy - such that i had to drink a whole can of Nescafe Ice (which tastes strange btw). The beach also was a great place for quiet time - cool enough, peaceful, without much distractions, fairly clean [as opposed to ecp, which doesn't really work for me (but then again, i can never wake up early enough to get to the beach in the early morning anyway)]
Anyway, it feels strange to have left the camp, which is strange since i don't think it in total lasted more than 80 hours... Suddenly there's no one around but Bingo... *woof*
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