Sunday, December 11, 2005

AnnTIC '05

Okies i'd better note down my memories and reflections of the above mentioned before the barrage of December stuff overwhelms me and i forget certain stuff that i don't want to forget. And since blogging provides an easy-access means for me to do so, so i shall. If you (i.e. not me) want to read my long-winded and random musings, please do feel free to do so, but just be prepared for (what i predict to be) a largely disjointed and anyhow narrative sans any real flow whatsoever.

This year's theme was "Faith in an Unchanging Great God", with teachings by Dr Lee Soo Ann based upon Daniel 1-6. The style of the theme talks this year was vastly different from that used in last year's AnnTIC by Dr and Mrs Harley but nevertheless they were very interesting and though-provoking insights into these six chapters and what can be taken out of them.

Was reminded once again about how faithful the Lord has been, even as we looked at the example of Daniel and his three friends Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah (whose Babylonian names Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego roll much easier off the tongue but are rooted in Babylonian paganism hence my preference for the former - i vaguely recall a Sunday school song referring to the latter three by these names, regarding their experience in the fiery furnace), whose faith and resolve in the Lord remained unshaken in spite of the threat of death. In response to this, we see that the Lord in His sovereignty and faithfulness intervened in the interests of their safety.

What basically strikes me is how God's faithfulness was readily apparent to them upon their own display of ultimate trust in God. This in contrast to myself, who have, at several instances seen God's faithfulness in my life in spite of my own unfaithfulness towards Him. It is indeed a very humbling thought. This morning, as i woke up from my 12-hour-long sleep (more on that later), and as i did my quiet time, i remembered that it was exactly four years ago today that i enlisted in the army. I recalled how at that time i was absolutely dreading the time that lay ahead. At the same time, i think my relationship with God was then strictly on a so-what-can-You-do-for-me basis... Yet, in spite of that negative attitude that i took, the Lord saw me through the whole experience (including two near-drownings and many other bad experiences)... Then came the past year-and-a-half at NUS, where similarly, the Lord has been so faithful to me, even in the light of all my shortcomings...

Ah well... Anyway, apart from the theme talks themselves, have much more to muse about regarding the camp...

I had gone to the camp with a rather joyous demeanour, mainly because this was the first cf camp that i would be attending strictly in the capacity as a participant (i.e. no appointments to hold). Therefore i thought that there would be ample time for me to relax...

Well, in the end, while i did get to relax a bit (which was mainly through exercise such as frisbee/captain's ball/running - in other words no slacking involved), was still largely occupied with other stuff during whatever free time there was, such as prep for MEET (which is still ongoing as i type) and talking to and sharing with various people... But anyway, it's not as if i had no time on my hands, for as Taiyu put it "the only person with no time is a dead person".

When i first saw and observed the groupings for the camp, i was admittedly a little disappointed because there were very little people i knew in it (and i thought that i knew quite a few people in cf as it was), and furthermore, i was the only person currently from arts, which i thought would have been an impossibility since there were close to thirty (methinks) people from arts at the camp.

In the end, things turned out totally in the other way from what i had unfoundedly feared it would have been. Lester was a great group leader, and i have been greatly encouraged by his faith in the Lord. Yizhuang was similarly a great Bible study leader, bringing his own unique insights into the pasages, and challenging us on issues pertinent to our faith. Xiu Ting was another person who encouraged me with her love for the Lord. Pei Fen was a friendly breath of fresh air, bringing us new perspectives, coming from a different school and a different country. Deyao not only provided comic relief, but also brought up very important ideas and issues in our studies. Joseph helped to provide very grounded insights into the Word. Lastly [but not leastly(?)], Joanne and Kok Soon (better known as Kelvin Tan) drew from their wealth of experiences in cf ministry to bless us with. The times of sharing and Bible study and meals together (and praying for no fats and calories) that we had were times that i was greatly blessed by. And on top of all this, of course, the friendship of all is most treasured =)

I also had the great experience of co-leading worship together with Ming Hui on the last night. Now, in faith i had indicated my interest to serve as a worship leader on the online registration form because i felt that the Lord was prompting me to do so, and also because i realised how hard it can be on the comm member in charge to get people to help lead and play for worship after having that experience at this year's FOC. I didn't really know what to expect beyond that.

Then, just around a month ago, Ming Hui came up to me, somewhat on a whim methinks, and asked if i wanted to co-lead with him. I thought that it was a cool idea (the Barker boys work together - *coolness*) so i agreed. Over the course of the next month we toyed around with ideas (not-sung-for-a-long-time-since-the-hillsongs/planetshakers-era-came kind of songs, a medley of praise songs in E, whether to sing 'in-house' songs? - that kinda thing), and prayed. This was the first tua zhong (sp?) worship session that i have led, and have only just realised the sheer amount of effort and prayer that is needed in preparation for it, with Christ still ever at the focus, of course...

Also, i realised the importance of humility, in the face of pride that can so often get into the picture, especially in this particular ministry, and push God out of the picture, which basically makes having worship pointless to begin with, for it becomes nothing more that a superficial, musical and lyrical means of self-glorification. I definitely was faced with this at several points in time, and it was only on the morning of the last day itself that i felt a certain peaceful assurance come upon me that the Lord would move mightily on that night's worship. I know that was at least in part because it was only then that i was able to let go of my own interests and to purely focus upon God, after much prayer. Of course, in my own sinful nature that still is a struggle that i face, but i believe that the important thing is that such issues are recognised whenever they come up, and immediately brought before the Lord, who will handle them in His own perfect time. So basically i am very thankful to the Lord for this experience, and also for Ming Hui, who helped to encourage me through it, along with others whom the Lord sent... "May i die to self, and live for You, who died and rose again."

Once again, sleep became an issue for me at this camp. I realise that my body has problems with new sleeping environments. Now, the ability to sleep on unfamiliar surfaces is not an issue - i have slept on desktops, cold aluminium floors of army boats, uncomfortable and rigid plastic packing boxes and wet shellscrapes, among others - but the problem is that i can't sleep on such surfaces for too long. So, during the camp (in spite of a vast improvement from the coolie hq that i slept in at last year's AnnTIC in Cameron Highlands), i would wake up every hour or so, particularly on the sweltering first two days before air-conditioning graced the room (which went on to cause me a dry and itchy throat for the rest of the camp), and be up by 630, at the latest. Of course, this helped me to wake up in time for the two 6am runs that i had with Qibin during the camp (need to exercise!), but also meant that i got precious little sleep during the camp, ranging from five hours on the first day, to just about two on the last. The thing was that i was never too sleepy during those times, methinks because of the camp-induced adrenalin rush that i always get (in all camps save for army camps haha - which have the opposite effect on me). Once i got home, this expired, and i promptly fell on my bed and slept from sevenish at night all the way to sevenish in the morning.

Food was another issue. While the food was generally good, the ingredients of the food sometimes saw me turning vegetarian. Specifically so whenever seafood was served. I have never eaten so much veggies and nothing else for a looong time...

I even had an interesting time on the way back. After picking up some secret recipe stuff in JB, took a lift right to my doorstep in Taiyu's car. Only thing was that the traffic all the way from city square in JB to the S'pore customs was extremely slow-moving. Thankfully there was the in-house entertainment of Taiyu, Weihao, Joel and Chris to see me through those incredibly long hours till i finally reached home at around fiveish.

I never realised that the words "ni yao wo yong wo de jian lai ca ni?" would cause so much amusement...

The AnnTIC comm did a great job, btw...

Edited to add in:

Some of the fruit of my brief time of personal reflection:

My name for God for this camp:
(know that this is rather duh considering that this was basically the theme of the camp in the first place but anyhoos) God who is faithful. For He has been faithful to me at all times, even when i have been utterly lacking in my own faith in Him and have fallen away.

My new name that "reflect(s) who we are (our identity) and our hopes":
(know that this is a really long name that even surpasses the length of my already-long name as in i/c - T** Q********, M****** L***) he who is continually being molded by God into His image. Linked to my name for God above, i've come to realise that though sometimes i may go wayward in my walk with God, He never discards this deformed piece of pottery but instead reshapes me and still continues to mold me more and more into His perfect image...

One new meaningful worship song that i learnt:
Ming Hui taught me this as we were prepping for worship, it is taken from 2 Chronicles 7:14 and Isaiah 6:5 (hooray for Biblically-based and theologically-sound songs!), so i suppose that the full lyrics can be placed here since i have no idea who actually pieced together this song.

Send Revival

We're looking to Your promise of old
That if we pray and humble ourselves
You will come and heal our land
You will come, You will come

We're looking to the promise You made
That if we turn and look to Your face
You will come, and heal our land
You will come, You will come to us

Lord send revival
Start with me
For I am one of unclean lips
And my eyes have seen the King
Your glory I have glimpsed
Send revival
Start with me

This song serves as a challenge to us all to look inwards and see in what ways we may still not be right before the Lord and subsequently lift this up in full to Him, for only then will He be able to, in His nature as God, accept our sacrifices of thanks and praise and work His marvellous deeds in our lives.

Another side note:
In co-leading worship and seeing all the rest of the campers singing heartfelt praises to the Lord in front of me, it just felt so amazing to be in the company of so many people united in love in the body of Christ in praise of our sovereign God and King. What a wonderful feeling. Yet at the same time a reminder to do our part, as He leads, to contribute towards the fulfillment of the vision that John received as described in Revelation 7 (mz: haha), to not isolate ourselves from the multitudes who up till now do not know of the saving grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. May we all do our part with God as our focus above all.

Less pertinent side note:
Somehow became embroiled in yet another string of relationship discussions, regarding the rate and state of attachments in cf. Now this took a particularly significant turn for yours truly since, thanks to the so-called informal relationship plenary sessions held on the last night, now a great deal more people know that the only attachments i have had up to this point have been, how do we say, of either the military or otherwise still non-relational variety, and so pressure is mounting, so to speak, specifically so from the, you guessed it, girls... Thank goodness for sane like-minded brothers (here in terms of views towards relationships, not in terms of walk with God) who agree and empathize with my own views regarding this... But anyways, talk about an evergreen topic, think this one will never leave cf conversation circles for a long time yet.

3 comments:

maicie said...

i miss anntic.

tofu panda said...

bleah. :S

Anonymous said...

bro, 'Send Revival' is written by Matt Redman, so i guess we know why it's biblically sound eh? :)