Currently the progress level of my packing for exchange has remained consistent - consistently unchanged at the point of not having packed anything at all that is - i definitely have a lot of ideas on what to pack and where to pack it in my head, but virtually none of these great ideas have translated into any actual work done to advance the packing process by any means possible - so i guess that tomorrow it's do or die - not only is there packing to do but also last-minute shopping and instruction-reading for the uni. And i am very positively sure that no matter how well tomorrow may go, once i finally take my seat on the plane i know that soon enough i'll go "oh shucks, i forgot to bring (insert name of random important thing)!" Ah well that's me for you...
In terms of communication some of you may be glad to know that i have decided to expand the narrow technological boundaries that i hold dearly to and get Skype, if not solely because it makes more monetary sense to do so for me. Now, msn is still a definite no-no, but at least got this right... Quite farny how the decaying and dusty microphone that had up to this moment had been chucked aside in one dank corner next to my pc monitor for years on end without ever being used has now suddenly found a new lease of life and even will get to go on a holiday too...
Today and yesterday too i said my so-called last goodbyes to quite a few people - have come to realise that there's a need to gradually detach oneself from these people (or more accurately - to not let my life revolve around meeting these people), simply because if i don't then i'll be feeling way too lonely once i get there and have no more chance to see them in person till many months later... Ah well, enjoyed myself today - it's very encouraging especially to see the matric comm people and the fair going on well...
Monday, July 31, 2006
Saturday, July 29, 2006
That poster ain't for free, the best is yet to be...
Am slacking at home now because the ippt of two days ago is still taking its toll on my body, which now is aching all over. Anyway since it's finally over there's no real need to exercise right now i suppose - so that means that i can do more bo liao stuff like experiment with the digicam that i finally got for the immediate purpose of taking photos in the States - and being the kind who has no clue on how to operate such sophisticated technologically-advanced devices, it took me all of half-an-hour just to get everything set up and take the first photo - not exactly the power shot that Maria Sharapova promises every shot will be like, but it will do i suppose...
And btw i am not that crazy about the school lah [in fact, when it was announced during morning assembly in my attachment school a few days ago that they had beaten ACS (I) in hockey with the score being something to the effect of 13-0, i clapped and cheered as loud as anyone else there (but of course if we were talking about Barker now that would be a different story...)]. I only pasted that on my door because my father paid at least $10 (if not $15-20) for it many years ago at an AC Founder's Day dinner, and i am not about to let that $ go to waste by seeing the rolled-up poster collecting dust in some corner of the house...
And also as you can see, my expressed aim to clear up and rearrange my room many months ago has still not achieved anything close to fruition yet - til next year then...
And btw i am not that crazy about the school lah [in fact, when it was announced during morning assembly in my attachment school a few days ago that they had beaten ACS (I) in hockey with the score being something to the effect of 13-0, i clapped and cheered as loud as anyone else there (but of course if we were talking about Barker now that would be a different story...)]. I only pasted that on my door because my father paid at least $10 (if not $15-20) for it many years ago at an AC Founder's Day dinner, and i am not about to let that $ go to waste by seeing the rolled-up poster collecting dust in some corner of the house...
And also as you can see, my expressed aim to clear up and rearrange my room many months ago has still not achieved anything close to fruition yet - til next year then...
Thursday, July 27, 2006
pass + incentive redux
So before I knew it it was time for ippt again - here's how it turned out this time:
Station: Score (Pts)
Sit Up: 38 (4)
Broad Jump: 221 cm (2)
Chin Up: 6 (2)
Shuttle Run: 9.8s (4)
2.4km Run: 11:30 min (3)
Total: 16
Result: PASS
Award: INCENTIVE (which btw is $)
Looking at these results compared to last year's, basically there's a slight improvement since overall i did increase by one point (and hence up my ippt cap from 3 to 3.2), although the award obtained is still the same, and i actually worsened in three of the five stations. Whatever it is, i'm very thankful for being able to clear it because i was at times extremely worried that i'd fail and end up having to kena rt... Especially glad that all that running paid off - haven't run 2.4 at that time since ORD... Though of course pull ups and standing broad jump - always the two thorns at my side throughout my NS ippt life still have to be looked at if i want to get double the $ next time - but i shall not ponder upon what might have been - it's cleared and over with - that's all that counts =)
Well it turns out that most of the people taking the ippt today were much older - a lot of them were rt personnel in fact. The average age was so far above my own that one of the PTIs saw me, gave a puzzled stare, and then clarified if i was cat X (<25), before asking then how old i actually was - i suppose that i stood out so much like a sore thumb that i must have given people the impression that i was some slack nsf...
So now the only thing left is packing *cue ominous music*...
Station: Score (Pts)
Sit Up: 38 (4)
Broad Jump: 221 cm (2)
Chin Up: 6 (2)
Shuttle Run: 9.8s (4)
2.4km Run: 11:30 min (3)
Total: 16
Result: PASS
Award: INCENTIVE (which btw is $)
Looking at these results compared to last year's, basically there's a slight improvement since overall i did increase by one point (and hence up my ippt cap from 3 to 3.2), although the award obtained is still the same, and i actually worsened in three of the five stations. Whatever it is, i'm very thankful for being able to clear it because i was at times extremely worried that i'd fail and end up having to kena rt... Especially glad that all that running paid off - haven't run 2.4 at that time since ORD... Though of course pull ups and standing broad jump - always the two thorns at my side throughout my NS ippt life still have to be looked at if i want to get double the $ next time - but i shall not ponder upon what might have been - it's cleared and over with - that's all that counts =)
Well it turns out that most of the people taking the ippt today were much older - a lot of them were rt personnel in fact. The average age was so far above my own that one of the PTIs saw me, gave a puzzled stare, and then clarified if i was cat X (<25), before asking then how old i actually was - i suppose that i stood out so much like a sore thumb that i must have given people the impression that i was some slack nsf...
So now the only thing left is packing *cue ominous music*...
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Allow me to wax philosophical
Ok first a couple of pics from the wedding of my JC teacher on Saturday - unfortunately some problems with uploading the picture of the happy couple themselves but anyway here's my class people who turned up...
Well, before i knew it, the thirteen days of school attachment have drawn to a close - so long to waking up at five thirty every morning, wearing on a daily basis the type of clothes that this year i have otherwise only worn at wedding dinners, feeling hungry enough to on occasion eat three meals within three hours, and of course having to adopt an entirely different persona so as not to appear as a total goofball in front of the boys.
Yup but in spite of all these minor inconveniences, i've come to appreciate the time that i've spent there - at the start before the first day i was like super sian, yet today as i left the school for the last time i lamented to the others, as we all did to one another too; that this whole thingy passed really fast, and that in the end we're not exactly the happiest of people to have completed our last day there.
Of course it helps that the school was on a whole very hospitable towards us (a few hiccups and arrows shot our way notwithstanding), and that the four of us were similarly able to get along well with one another. A lot of the staff, including many of the higher-ups are extremely friendly folk, and i both respect and have learnt quite a bit from them. While not every experience with them may be a pleasant one, but still overall it was good to get a much better picture as to what teaching is like, and what i have gotten myself into at least from graduation all the way to 2013 (gasp!).
One thing that i also appreciate about this attachment was the fact that it was my first experience in a secular (i.e. non-Christian) formal school environment since primary school, where seriously, i was too young to know what was going on. No chapels once a week, nor any devotions read every morning, or even an identifiable group of Christians meeting together. It reached a stage when i was heartened even to see a teacher wearing a cross pendant, or sticking Bible verses in his or her cubicle.
Yup, this has made me thankful and more appreciative for stuff like that when i was in AC (not to say that the 'Christian' environment there was always an immaculate one - but that's another story for another day...). And it also reminded me of what the message at FOC was talking about - how do we reflect our faith to the glory of God in whatever environment we are placed in? Well, to me the secular school environment is a better representation of the so-called real world of the education system here, especially in this school, where the racial profile of the country was much more accurately represented by the makeup of the student population than in AC or even NUS. So how identifiable are we as Christians when placed in such an environment - especially when as a teacher the chance to influence others is perhaps greater, while having to bear in mind the need to be mindful of the limitations that are in place? While i was in the school, i felt a semblance of a burden especially for some of the pre-believer staff, and even my fellow attached personnel (not so much with the boys because of my limited interactions with them)l - and the Lord was reminding me to pray about how to in any possible way show His love to them (and to do so in love too, and not out of obligation)... In this short period well not much was achieved so to speak, but i'm thankful for the Lord reminding me of this - something to pray about... (and i could go on and on, but of course it would take forever...)
Well, before i knew it, the thirteen days of school attachment have drawn to a close - so long to waking up at five thirty every morning, wearing on a daily basis the type of clothes that this year i have otherwise only worn at wedding dinners, feeling hungry enough to on occasion eat three meals within three hours, and of course having to adopt an entirely different persona so as not to appear as a total goofball in front of the boys.
Yup but in spite of all these minor inconveniences, i've come to appreciate the time that i've spent there - at the start before the first day i was like super sian, yet today as i left the school for the last time i lamented to the others, as we all did to one another too; that this whole thingy passed really fast, and that in the end we're not exactly the happiest of people to have completed our last day there.
Of course it helps that the school was on a whole very hospitable towards us (a few hiccups and arrows shot our way notwithstanding), and that the four of us were similarly able to get along well with one another. A lot of the staff, including many of the higher-ups are extremely friendly folk, and i both respect and have learnt quite a bit from them. While not every experience with them may be a pleasant one, but still overall it was good to get a much better picture as to what teaching is like, and what i have gotten myself into at least from graduation all the way to 2013 (gasp!).
One thing that i also appreciate about this attachment was the fact that it was my first experience in a secular (i.e. non-Christian) formal school environment since primary school, where seriously, i was too young to know what was going on. No chapels once a week, nor any devotions read every morning, or even an identifiable group of Christians meeting together. It reached a stage when i was heartened even to see a teacher wearing a cross pendant, or sticking Bible verses in his or her cubicle.
Yup, this has made me thankful and more appreciative for stuff like that when i was in AC (not to say that the 'Christian' environment there was always an immaculate one - but that's another story for another day...). And it also reminded me of what the message at FOC was talking about - how do we reflect our faith to the glory of God in whatever environment we are placed in? Well, to me the secular school environment is a better representation of the so-called real world of the education system here, especially in this school, where the racial profile of the country was much more accurately represented by the makeup of the student population than in AC or even NUS. So how identifiable are we as Christians when placed in such an environment - especially when as a teacher the chance to influence others is perhaps greater, while having to bear in mind the need to be mindful of the limitations that are in place? While i was in the school, i felt a semblance of a burden especially for some of the pre-believer staff, and even my fellow attached personnel (not so much with the boys because of my limited interactions with them)l - and the Lord was reminding me to pray about how to in any possible way show His love to them (and to do so in love too, and not out of obligation)... In this short period well not much was achieved so to speak, but i'm thankful for the Lord reminding me of this - something to pray about... (and i could go on and on, but of course it would take forever...)
Sunday, July 23, 2006
One Hundred and Fifty-Seven Days
That's how long i'll be away for, according to the mindef online overseas trip notification service - hmm it certainly seems much longer in days rather than in months - ah well...
How apt to get a reminder in the mail to do this notification just in time before i leave - or i wouldn't have done so at all (i am positive that the last time i tried to do so - which was for the MEET trip, the website clearly said that i didn't need to as long as it was less than six months - so i didn't - oh well, i was only following orders), and risk some unpleasant surprise upon my return...
Another possible unpleasant surprise that may await upon my return is rt in the event that the higher-ups really care that i don't clear ippt, if indeed i don't clear it on thursday - it's just too bad i have no physically fit identical twin brother at hand to help me out here...
In a follow-up from yesterday's post - i did sleep at ten, and finally got up only at eight thirty am - boy was that a much needed rest - i think that i can honestly say that this is the longest i have slept continuously at least for this year (recalling bmt days - PC: "Has everyone had seven hours of uninterrupted sleep?" moi: "Yes Sir!!!") - just too bad that such a schedule cannot be kept up for the next week...
How apt to get a reminder in the mail to do this notification just in time before i leave - or i wouldn't have done so at all (i am positive that the last time i tried to do so - which was for the MEET trip, the website clearly said that i didn't need to as long as it was less than six months - so i didn't - oh well, i was only following orders), and risk some unpleasant surprise upon my return...
Another possible unpleasant surprise that may await upon my return is rt in the event that the higher-ups really care that i don't clear ippt, if indeed i don't clear it on thursday - it's just too bad i have no physically fit identical twin brother at hand to help me out here...
In a follow-up from yesterday's post - i did sleep at ten, and finally got up only at eight thirty am - boy was that a much needed rest - i think that i can honestly say that this is the longest i have slept continuously at least for this year (recalling bmt days - PC: "Has everyone had seven hours of uninterrupted sleep?" moi: "Yes Sir!!!") - just too bad that such a schedule cannot be kept up for the next week...
Saturday, July 22, 2006
can't come up with a decent title
Went for a wedding today - that of my JC class teacher Mr Koh, at KKMC. Realised that over the course of the month before i leave i'd have had reunions of sorts with classmates from primary school, secondary school and JC. All that's left is for Ascension Kindergarten to organize a Class of '89 reunion (like that would ever happen heh). But back to my point - it's good to finally see him settle down after so long - wonderful how God's appointment was clearly evident in how they met... Also had the usual "oh, i haven't seen you in soooo long!" moments with teachers, and also saw other familiar faces too.
After that it was time to head down to school for anniversary celebrations where i was more or less just a flower vase (hua ping) save for the occasional smile to a guest or a token hand gesture directing them towards their seats. The school really put in a lot of effort - reminded me quite a bit of AC Founders' Day celebrations - though think that since this time i see things from a different perspective, i really appreciate all the effort that goes into such celebrations, unlike last time when these things were very much just touch-and-go - which is why i am not one for organizing gatherings/parties etc... The highlight of my day? Maybe it was getting to shake the hand of the oompa loompa lookalike - he was the guest of honour - he's a really affable guy - was just being my flower vase self in one corner, together with a fellow attached personnel - and when he passed us he even stretched out his hand first to greet us... Considering the sheer number of hands he has to shake at any public appearance, i thought that he'd be totally sian about it... Must give him kudos for that...
Due to this school job, i have had to resort to taking a cab three times within one short week - on tuesday i took one back to school from the embassy cos i didn't want to be late, then today i took one to the church cos i figured in the oppressive heat i didn't want to be walking in the sun to the bus stop and then to the church wearing a thick long-sleeved shirt which i needed to wear for the subsequent anniversary celebrations cos i knew that i'd soak it in sweat if i did, and then lastly after the service when i had to rush down again to school in order not to be late... Think in total it's cost me almost $30 - and i wonder, why does it seem to hurt my pocket so much when i have to change bus and threfore pay more for bus fare, but i don't even bat an eyelid whenever i have to pay the cab fare?
From this point onwards till i fly off i realise that i'll have an extremely packed schedule ahead - with school stuff, final sep preperations, worship practice and worship itself (of which i am still very much in the initial prayer stage of planning), saying last goodbyes to people (and there still are more that i want to arrange), preparing for and (in faith) clearing ippt, and then some... And it's guaranteed to tire me out - i mean already now as i type this i have almost no energy left and hence have decided to go to sleep once i post this - sleeping at ten - almost unheard of...
So i shall sleep now - nitey...
After that it was time to head down to school for anniversary celebrations where i was more or less just a flower vase (hua ping) save for the occasional smile to a guest or a token hand gesture directing them towards their seats. The school really put in a lot of effort - reminded me quite a bit of AC Founders' Day celebrations - though think that since this time i see things from a different perspective, i really appreciate all the effort that goes into such celebrations, unlike last time when these things were very much just touch-and-go - which is why i am not one for organizing gatherings/parties etc... The highlight of my day? Maybe it was getting to shake the hand of the oompa loompa lookalike - he was the guest of honour - he's a really affable guy - was just being my flower vase self in one corner, together with a fellow attached personnel - and when he passed us he even stretched out his hand first to greet us... Considering the sheer number of hands he has to shake at any public appearance, i thought that he'd be totally sian about it... Must give him kudos for that...
Due to this school job, i have had to resort to taking a cab three times within one short week - on tuesday i took one back to school from the embassy cos i didn't want to be late, then today i took one to the church cos i figured in the oppressive heat i didn't want to be walking in the sun to the bus stop and then to the church wearing a thick long-sleeved shirt which i needed to wear for the subsequent anniversary celebrations cos i knew that i'd soak it in sweat if i did, and then lastly after the service when i had to rush down again to school in order not to be late... Think in total it's cost me almost $30 - and i wonder, why does it seem to hurt my pocket so much when i have to change bus and threfore pay more for bus fare, but i don't even bat an eyelid whenever i have to pay the cab fare?
From this point onwards till i fly off i realise that i'll have an extremely packed schedule ahead - with school stuff, final sep preperations, worship practice and worship itself (of which i am still very much in the initial prayer stage of planning), saying last goodbyes to people (and there still are more that i want to arrange), preparing for and (in faith) clearing ippt, and then some... And it's guaranteed to tire me out - i mean already now as i type this i have almost no energy left and hence have decided to go to sleep once i post this - sleeping at ten - almost unheard of...
So i shall sleep now - nitey...
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Wah, sir must be very boring...
No, i did not overhear the boys say that, but i suppose that was definitely the impression that they must have gotten when i took over their class today. Why? Well here's a sample of the dialogue that went on during the class today.
Boy A: "Sir, do you play dota?" (and he asked this twice btw)
moi: "No."
Boy B: "Sir, then what online games do you play?"
moi: "Erm, none."
Boy C: "Sir, then what's your hotmail contact, erm, i mean msn?"
moi: "Sorry, i don't have one."
Boy C: "Wah sir so low tech one ah? *chuckles*
moi: ...
Boy D: "Sir then do you like sports?"
moi: "Not really..."
Boy B: "Sir, got girlfriend or not?"
moi: *shakes head*
(and so to elaborate on my response to Ade's question on the tagboard there ------->, one step at a time lah - not even attached, then think about possibly pesky children for what? And come to think of it, no, i don't want to have kids - cos i ain't no billy goat =p)
Anyway, this was a sec one class, the first one that i've taken - and i tell you - it's boys like this which remind me why i get irritated by children so easily. Of course, they're already thirteen this year - but at least some of their actions today didn't correspond with their supposed age. Suffice to say that i've never shouted so much in a class in my life as i did during this class (though to be fair to them, that was only my fourth out of four classes), to the extent that whenever they were making unnecessary noise and one particular boy saw me inhaling deeply, he would go: "wah, going to explode again!" then he and certain other boys would cover their ears... Was just thinking, since it was in school and not say, in an army camp, the good old "whole lot knock it down!!!", which was always my last line of defence with my men last time (though said in a strange tone cos my attempted fierceness always can never make it one...), would only land me in hot water... By the end of the class i had given up on shouting for fear of aiding the growth of throat polyps so i just wrote a note on the board - something to the effect of "you don't keep quiet for three minutes and you can stay back with me after the dismissal bell rings" - worked like a charm =)
Well, i could get extremely irritated by them and be extremely thankful that when i do finally teach for real chances are i won't kena sec ones again, but then i realised that all of ten years ago my sec one class (full of playful young boys as was this one ten years on) did all sorts of horrible things (which i can honestly say i played but a minimal part in) - what takes the cake of course was how some of the boys succeeded in delivering a mild but dramatic electric shock to our old lao shi (back in the days when i still was xue-ing hua yu - which meant i couldn't stand her as much as any other of the boys), dramatic because it resulted in a big flash of light and a loud boom, and also threw back the poor lao shi a few metres (but she was still standing) and made her hair even frizzier than it already way. I dunno if this incident played a part in her hasty departure from the school only six months after she had become our teacher (but in the defence of our class, she actually said that she liked our class when compared to the other sec one classes that she taught - i'll leave it to your imagination as to what they did to her...)
Ah, but pesky sec one boys aside (need lots of grace for that one) actually am beginning to see myself a bit comfortable in the shoes of a teacher - was rather enjoying explaining to a sec three class (whether they actually were interested i dunno though) more about the origins of the Malayan Emergency of 1948-1960, so much so that i ran out of time only having covered but bits of what i wanted to cover - gosh i feel like such a history geek...
In other news, went for another mega run today of 51:40 minutes at ecp again, then went to try pull-ups again and finally reached my (puny but realistic) target of six - which is the minimum needed to pass - laid my mind to rest quite a bit - though am not out of the woods yet... Over the past few times that i've been running (sparked by a train of conversation at Jasmine's sacred-secular divide workshop at FOC regarding how running could become a so-called sacred activity by praying while doing it), i've been trying just that to very limited success (have had better productivity when swimming or cycling) - but today went on fairly okay, less disruptions than usual...
Was subject to S'pore Idol torture just now cos my mother was watching it while i was eating - practically everyone i heard was really flat -terok sia...
Boy A: "Sir, do you play dota?" (and he asked this twice btw)
moi: "No."
Boy B: "Sir, then what online games do you play?"
moi: "Erm, none."
Boy C: "Sir, then what's your hotmail contact, erm, i mean msn?"
moi: "Sorry, i don't have one."
Boy C: "Wah sir so low tech one ah? *chuckles*
moi: ...
Boy D: "Sir then do you like sports?"
moi: "Not really..."
Boy B: "Sir, got girlfriend or not?"
moi: *shakes head*
(and so to elaborate on my response to Ade's question on the tagboard there ------->, one step at a time lah - not even attached, then think about possibly pesky children for what? And come to think of it, no, i don't want to have kids - cos i ain't no billy goat =p)
Anyway, this was a sec one class, the first one that i've taken - and i tell you - it's boys like this which remind me why i get irritated by children so easily. Of course, they're already thirteen this year - but at least some of their actions today didn't correspond with their supposed age. Suffice to say that i've never shouted so much in a class in my life as i did during this class (though to be fair to them, that was only my fourth out of four classes), to the extent that whenever they were making unnecessary noise and one particular boy saw me inhaling deeply, he would go: "wah, going to explode again!" then he and certain other boys would cover their ears... Was just thinking, since it was in school and not say, in an army camp, the good old "whole lot knock it down!!!", which was always my last line of defence with my men last time (though said in a strange tone cos my attempted fierceness always can never make it one...), would only land me in hot water... By the end of the class i had given up on shouting for fear of aiding the growth of throat polyps so i just wrote a note on the board - something to the effect of "you don't keep quiet for three minutes and you can stay back with me after the dismissal bell rings" - worked like a charm =)
Well, i could get extremely irritated by them and be extremely thankful that when i do finally teach for real chances are i won't kena sec ones again, but then i realised that all of ten years ago my sec one class (full of playful young boys as was this one ten years on) did all sorts of horrible things (which i can honestly say i played but a minimal part in) - what takes the cake of course was how some of the boys succeeded in delivering a mild but dramatic electric shock to our old lao shi (back in the days when i still was xue-ing hua yu - which meant i couldn't stand her as much as any other of the boys), dramatic because it resulted in a big flash of light and a loud boom, and also threw back the poor lao shi a few metres (but she was still standing) and made her hair even frizzier than it already way. I dunno if this incident played a part in her hasty departure from the school only six months after she had become our teacher (but in the defence of our class, she actually said that she liked our class when compared to the other sec one classes that she taught - i'll leave it to your imagination as to what they did to her...)
Ah, but pesky sec one boys aside (need lots of grace for that one) actually am beginning to see myself a bit comfortable in the shoes of a teacher - was rather enjoying explaining to a sec three class (whether they actually were interested i dunno though) more about the origins of the Malayan Emergency of 1948-1960, so much so that i ran out of time only having covered but bits of what i wanted to cover - gosh i feel like such a history geek...
In other news, went for another mega run today of 51:40 minutes at ecp again, then went to try pull-ups again and finally reached my (puny but realistic) target of six - which is the minimum needed to pass - laid my mind to rest quite a bit - though am not out of the woods yet... Over the past few times that i've been running (sparked by a train of conversation at Jasmine's sacred-secular divide workshop at FOC regarding how running could become a so-called sacred activity by praying while doing it), i've been trying just that to very limited success (have had better productivity when swimming or cycling) - but today went on fairly okay, less disruptions than usual...
Was subject to S'pore Idol torture just now cos my mother was watching it while i was eating - practically everyone i heard was really flat -terok sia...
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Je suis très fatigué
(by the way, a French-titled blog post titles indicate utter sian-ness on my part)
I've been very physically and mentally tired over the past few days for some strange and unexplainable reason(s). Perhaps part of it had to do with the rollover effect of having too little sleep last week because of school. Averaging five hours a night is seriously not the brightest of ideas... That aside think that the pace in school also has picked up over the last couple of days, with projects to prepare and present and classes to supervise, definitely more so than last week.
The net effect has been to leave me falling asleep for practically the whole afternoon on Sunday, as well as most of yesterday once i got back home as well, in lieu of the original intention of ippt prep of some kind on both days, though think that if i had done that instead, i'd be even more dead beat now so i suppose in the larger scheme of things it's ok - everything in moderation...
Today marked the first time i got to handle a class - two in fact - though it was only to administer a test and then to screen a WWII-related film. Had to try and appear more serious though, even though today's classes did not entail that much effort on my part. Didn't help that i was feeling a little tired, having gone in the morning to the embassy to settle some visa stuff (which thankfully is near it's rightful completion), but in the end everything went alright. Ooh, did i mention that to spend so much time in the staff room, behind the scenes so to speak, is a very amusing experience indeed - i hadn't a clue as to what i was missing on the other side of the staff room door all that while...
Then originally i again had the intention of going for a run after school, but decided to tag along with some cf folk to catch Pirates 2 (and just for the record i can't for the life of me figure out what made me decide to watch Pirates 1 as a midnight show on the eve of army half marathon three years ago - sleeping all of two or so hours and eventually waking up the next day after the tortuous, cramp-filled run practically bedridden due to the pain). Wasn't the best of shows, i thought, and well, come to think of it i didn't really care much for the ride at Disneyland either... Went more for the fellowship (especially since i won't be seeing these people for a whole five months really soon) than for the movie, cos i could do without watching it since the first one didn't exactly knock my socks off. Was still rather tired though, so so much for the fellowship - since too tired (and consequently, moody) to talk much. Also meant that i probably couldn't appreciate the movie for what it was worth (though that was mainly the funny antics of Johnny Depp). But overall still ok lah (though i got pretty turned off by the abundance of seafood in the movie - almost to the point of nausea - yuck)...
So have decided to try and sleep a little more tonight - another long day ahead tomorrow - the fact that this tiring life will be over in a week, and that i am leaving in almost two weeks (plus a few hours) is just plain surreal - yes so surreal that i shall only ponder over it in my sleep... Nite folks...
I've been very physically and mentally tired over the past few days for some strange and unexplainable reason(s). Perhaps part of it had to do with the rollover effect of having too little sleep last week because of school. Averaging five hours a night is seriously not the brightest of ideas... That aside think that the pace in school also has picked up over the last couple of days, with projects to prepare and present and classes to supervise, definitely more so than last week.
The net effect has been to leave me falling asleep for practically the whole afternoon on Sunday, as well as most of yesterday once i got back home as well, in lieu of the original intention of ippt prep of some kind on both days, though think that if i had done that instead, i'd be even more dead beat now so i suppose in the larger scheme of things it's ok - everything in moderation...
Today marked the first time i got to handle a class - two in fact - though it was only to administer a test and then to screen a WWII-related film. Had to try and appear more serious though, even though today's classes did not entail that much effort on my part. Didn't help that i was feeling a little tired, having gone in the morning to the embassy to settle some visa stuff (which thankfully is near it's rightful completion), but in the end everything went alright. Ooh, did i mention that to spend so much time in the staff room, behind the scenes so to speak, is a very amusing experience indeed - i hadn't a clue as to what i was missing on the other side of the staff room door all that while...
Then originally i again had the intention of going for a run after school, but decided to tag along with some cf folk to catch Pirates 2 (and just for the record i can't for the life of me figure out what made me decide to watch Pirates 1 as a midnight show on the eve of army half marathon three years ago - sleeping all of two or so hours and eventually waking up the next day after the tortuous, cramp-filled run practically bedridden due to the pain). Wasn't the best of shows, i thought, and well, come to think of it i didn't really care much for the ride at Disneyland either... Went more for the fellowship (especially since i won't be seeing these people for a whole five months really soon) than for the movie, cos i could do without watching it since the first one didn't exactly knock my socks off. Was still rather tired though, so so much for the fellowship - since too tired (and consequently, moody) to talk much. Also meant that i probably couldn't appreciate the movie for what it was worth (though that was mainly the funny antics of Johnny Depp). But overall still ok lah (though i got pretty turned off by the abundance of seafood in the movie - almost to the point of nausea - yuck)...
So have decided to try and sleep a little more tonight - another long day ahead tomorrow - the fact that this tiring life will be over in a week, and that i am leaving in almost two weeks (plus a few hours) is just plain surreal - yes so surreal that i shall only ponder over it in my sleep... Nite folks...
Sunday, July 16, 2006
changi tales
Think that over the past week I've become so used to waking up at fiveish that it's become almost second nature already (of course once i say this i know that tomorrow i'll end up waking up much later than fiveish) which is quite amazing, especially since i am able to hear my alarm clock every morning, since previously almost one out of every two times when i set the alarm i end up sleeping right through it (methinks that in my semi-awake state i turn off the alarm without realising it and going back to sleep again)
Well, today called for an early wake-up cos i had to get a lift from Sida to the airport to welcome the MEET Mongolia team back home at sixish in the morning. Good to see them back, since haven't seen them in close to two months already. I realised that i was at the airport to send off/ receive every single MEET team as was possible (i.e. when i was not away in Thailand) - that's what you get for living (relatively) near the airport...
After that we went down to ecp to run - quite pleased with myself, cos was able to cover longer than i have in recent memory, and actually managed to keep running for 55 minutes straight without tiring out or cramping halfway - think that this sets a new non-army-related running distance and time record for me heh - from the far end of costa sands to the sailing centre and back again... Once again by the end of it my shirt was so wet i looked as though i had fallen into the sea. Think that running shouldn't be a problem for ippt anymore - ironically, it's those dreaded pull ups that could pull me down...
Then we had breakfast [i had breakfast! - and i've actually been having breakfast for the past few days in school - somehow the moulding process makes me feel hungry - in fact yesterday in school i had two breakfasts (one bun and then one plate of spaghetti plus chicken chop) and one lunch (cai fan) within the span of three hours...] at killiney kopitiam - my first time eating there ever - not bad lah, but sooo much butter in the kaya toast (Eunice, sounds familiar? =p)
Slacked almost the whole rest of the morning and afternoon at home - got some much needed sleep (actually only an hour) since this whole week i've been averaging five hours a night - thankfully the whole module mapping process is nearing an end - the past few days (or at least the free time that i've had while in the staff room) have in large part been spent carefully crafting emails to the relevant people from both schools - it's quite a headache i must say... At least with some progress made, exchange becomes much more of something to tangibly look forward to...
And while we're on that topic in the evening made the trip back to the airport again (the second time this year i've been to the airport twice in a day btw - for the sake of totally useless trivia) to see Debs off - quite a number of people were there - basically summed up as lots of arts people, past and present, plus Damien =p Had fun, most of it at the expense of certain individuals who shall remain unnamed. I shall keep quiet as to who exactly =p. Debs, if and when you read this, have a blast...
Huh - so my turn is apparently next - it's actually in a very short while, though it stil seems like eons away thanks to the visa and mapping stuff that requires completion, as well as the travel plans finalization process - hopefully by once the dreaded ippt passes i'll be more excited - 18 days left and counting...
Well, today called for an early wake-up cos i had to get a lift from Sida to the airport to welcome the MEET Mongolia team back home at sixish in the morning. Good to see them back, since haven't seen them in close to two months already. I realised that i was at the airport to send off/ receive every single MEET team as was possible (i.e. when i was not away in Thailand) - that's what you get for living (relatively) near the airport...
After that we went down to ecp to run - quite pleased with myself, cos was able to cover longer than i have in recent memory, and actually managed to keep running for 55 minutes straight without tiring out or cramping halfway - think that this sets a new non-army-related running distance and time record for me heh - from the far end of costa sands to the sailing centre and back again... Once again by the end of it my shirt was so wet i looked as though i had fallen into the sea. Think that running shouldn't be a problem for ippt anymore - ironically, it's those dreaded pull ups that could pull me down...
Then we had breakfast [i had breakfast! - and i've actually been having breakfast for the past few days in school - somehow the moulding process makes me feel hungry - in fact yesterday in school i had two breakfasts (one bun and then one plate of spaghetti plus chicken chop) and one lunch (cai fan) within the span of three hours...] at killiney kopitiam - my first time eating there ever - not bad lah, but sooo much butter in the kaya toast (Eunice, sounds familiar? =p)
Slacked almost the whole rest of the morning and afternoon at home - got some much needed sleep (actually only an hour) since this whole week i've been averaging five hours a night - thankfully the whole module mapping process is nearing an end - the past few days (or at least the free time that i've had while in the staff room) have in large part been spent carefully crafting emails to the relevant people from both schools - it's quite a headache i must say... At least with some progress made, exchange becomes much more of something to tangibly look forward to...
And while we're on that topic in the evening made the trip back to the airport again (the second time this year i've been to the airport twice in a day btw - for the sake of totally useless trivia) to see Debs off - quite a number of people were there - basically summed up as lots of arts people, past and present, plus Damien =p Had fun, most of it at the expense of certain individuals who shall remain unnamed. I shall keep quiet as to who exactly =p. Debs, if and when you read this, have a blast...
Huh - so my turn is apparently next - it's actually in a very short while, though it stil seems like eons away thanks to the visa and mapping stuff that requires completion, as well as the travel plans finalization process - hopefully by once the dreaded ippt passes i'll be more excited - 18 days left and counting...
Thursday, July 13, 2006
the mundane and the (for lack of a better word) not-so-mundane
School so far has been largely uneventful (which of course is a good thing) apart from some arrows shot in the general direction of the four attachees (the term "teaching scholar" carries with it a lot of positive implications which at least i don't feel i can live up to so i prefer the label "attachee", if such a word exists (and of course not as in attaché case) (and after all, as they say, "nothing without labour" =p so work is expected lah). Of course there's nothing that i can complain about [cos from the group discussions at FOC have decided that my life can do without (excessive) complaining], suffice to say that it's been a rather interesting and quite enjoyable experience so far - as i've said before the staff and my fellow attachees are generally very nice people to work with. While i haven't even started handling a class yet (note i said "handling a class" cos won't actually have to teach in the strictest sense of the word), am in any case thankfully getting into the whole swim of things...
Had a good break from school today since a good portion of thursday cg and friends gathered at Orchard (which btw looks different every single time i step into it - which is hardly a surprise considering that nowsaday i step into it all of once every two months or even less, compared to the so-called heyday back when i was still studying merely up the road at barker, and would go down to Orchard at least once a week) for a gathering facilitated by Debs' imminent departure to what one prof in my department (and he's from that very country so he's entitled to call it that) the white trash nation of Asia... Anyway, almost everyone seemed so busy - loads of working folk there especially...
Bumped into Chong Yak, my bmt mate who's now in smucf exco whom i have not seen for the longest time at the mrt station, and then into Lily, one of my primary six classmates whom i just met at the gathering that our class had only a few days ago. That was rather cool...
I must say that the attendance was impressive - around twenty or so of us from past and present alike (future a bit the hard lah...) - haven't seen some people in ages and it was good to catch up, even if time was a bit rushed. Good of Kumuthan to organise such an event, think he put in quite a bit of effort into it =) The community of believers whom i've grown accustomed to over here is definitely something that i'll miss when i'm away...
Which reminds me - quite a few people have asked me whether i am looking forward to going on exchange. Well the matter-of-fact answer that i give is a flat NO, or at least NOT YET, as i think it'll only sink in once the rest of the annoying bureaucracy and what not is cleared- and there still is some way to go for that. And after that there is the pre-term travel to plan, which i also am not looking too forward to. Only then once all this is settled, then i shall look forward to going on exchange...
Had a good break from school today since a good portion of thursday cg and friends gathered at Orchard (which btw looks different every single time i step into it - which is hardly a surprise considering that nowsaday i step into it all of once every two months or even less, compared to the so-called heyday back when i was still studying merely up the road at barker, and would go down to Orchard at least once a week) for a gathering facilitated by Debs' imminent departure to what one prof in my department (and he's from that very country so he's entitled to call it that) the white trash nation of Asia... Anyway, almost everyone seemed so busy - loads of working folk there especially...
Bumped into Chong Yak, my bmt mate who's now in smucf exco whom i have not seen for the longest time at the mrt station, and then into Lily, one of my primary six classmates whom i just met at the gathering that our class had only a few days ago. That was rather cool...
I must say that the attendance was impressive - around twenty or so of us from past and present alike (future a bit the hard lah...) - haven't seen some people in ages and it was good to catch up, even if time was a bit rushed. Good of Kumuthan to organise such an event, think he put in quite a bit of effort into it =) The community of believers whom i've grown accustomed to over here is definitely something that i'll miss when i'm away...
Which reminds me - quite a few people have asked me whether i am looking forward to going on exchange. Well the matter-of-fact answer that i give is a flat NO, or at least NOT YET, as i think it'll only sink in once the rest of the annoying bureaucracy and what not is cleared- and there still is some way to go for that. And after that there is the pre-term travel to plan, which i also am not looking too forward to. Only then once all this is settled, then i shall look forward to going on exchange...
Monday, July 10, 2006
all about moulding
Last night i had a primary six class reunion, the first one in a long time and the biggest one by very far. It all started around a week ago, i got a call from one of my old classmates whom i had not talked to, let alone seen, since circa post-PSLE time 1995, to inform me about a class reunion barbeque at a pavilion near the house of our former class teacher. Being one for these sort of things i made it a point to go, even though the house was around my old haunt - the North East Hougang/Serangoon/Sengkang area, or in other words, VERY FAR AWAY FROM MY HOUSE. Ah but rekindling of broken bonds supercedes distance anytime, so...
It was great to see so many people whom i have not seen in very long - in fact think at least a third of the people who turned up were people whom i had not seen since 1995 - a frighteningly long eleven years ago (which gasp- is almost half my life ago). Mdm Azlina, our class teacher included. [At this point i'd just like to make the note (which i know i've made before) that my primary school is ROSYTH school - that's R-O-S-Y-T-H, and not roadside or lao sai or any of that stuff] Most people were rather recognizable, though maybe that's because since this was an old class gathering, we knew who to expect to see, so we could agar agar guess who the random person making his/her way towards us was... (of course - and i'm being honest here - i look roughly the same as eleven years ago, so no one had any trouble recognizing me)
My class and i circa 1995
Eleven years on...
Would like to think we look much better now heh...
And you'd agree, wouldn't you? =p
Speaking of jobs and majors - i dunno why almost everyone either raised an eyebrow or grimaced at my mention that i am a history major and am gonna teach - hmm... Am i really worlds apart from them? Well maybe, considering that the dominant language there was indeed Mandarin - which reminded me of the fact that i was the only one from our class (supposedly the best em2 class) to be relegated to the 'special' Chinese class in the depths of the building - where i eventually toiled hard enough at the %$@# language to get a C - which in my eyes was even better methinks than getting As and A*s for the other subjects... In fact, that was one of the things that some people remembered about me, that i struggled and struggled with the language - well, just like my appearance, think that my command of the language, or rather the lack of it, too has not changed much since then... (Oh and just to note, all this started even BEFORE i had even stepped into an AC school thank you very much...)
As one of the first to arrive, and being a guy, i naturally felt obliged to help out in the setting up - and from this experience i learned how to fan dying but glowing embers into flame (and btw i tell you it's hard work - woke up this morning with arm muscles aching to a degree comparable to the time when i was kena tekan in taurus coy in bmt), as well as how to skewer chicken wings (which thankfully turned out far better than the other time a few years ago when i was tasked to skewer of all things, PRAWNS - yes - PRAWNS - so then i managed to withstand breathing through my nose for the whole duration, only to then accidentally puncture myself with a sharp and short spine at the backside of the wretched creature while attempting to skewer it- which of course did no good to my aversion to them...)
Oh, and another thing, many of them drove there - which was enough to get me kicking myself again and again for procrastinating getting a licence up till now, and probably till long after i return as well...
Then today was the first day of school for me - honestly i dunno how in future i am gonna do it - cos if school life entails reaching the place by early 7ish in the morning, that means if i want to do my quiet time first then i'll have to get up around early 5ish every day - which would in the long run entail sleeping by latest eleven pm on average - highly impossible for me...
So needless to say i couldn't wake up early enough to do my qt prior to leaving the house, but anyway got there and then i had to make a conscious effort to adopt a more serious persona - for exameple when they introduced us to the school, i was about to give them one of my cheesy grins that i normally give when i bump into people along the corridors of nus, when i realised that i should be more teacher-ish, so i just smiled simply and raised my hand instead. Yup it had to be Mr Tay, not blur and moody me who was there today...
But anyway, it was quite enjoyable i must say, even though the work in store promises to be a lot and the learning curve very expotentially shaped... The staff are generally very friendly and accomodating people as are the other three guys also attached to the school (all easties =). Haven't had a chance to really see how the boys are like, but think they should be fine lah - or at least i hope...
(Oh, and i must say that you really should check out an all guys school the morning after the world cup finals - if you get my drift... I'd like to think that yours truly, not giving two hoots about the match, would be wide awake in comparison for once heh...)
It was great to see so many people whom i have not seen in very long - in fact think at least a third of the people who turned up were people whom i had not seen since 1995 - a frighteningly long eleven years ago (which gasp- is almost half my life ago). Mdm Azlina, our class teacher included. [At this point i'd just like to make the note (which i know i've made before) that my primary school is ROSYTH school - that's R-O-S-Y-T-H, and not roadside or lao sai or any of that stuff] Most people were rather recognizable, though maybe that's because since this was an old class gathering, we knew who to expect to see, so we could agar agar guess who the random person making his/her way towards us was... (of course - and i'm being honest here - i look roughly the same as eleven years ago, so no one had any trouble recognizing me)
My class and i circa 1995
Eleven years on...
Would like to think we look much better now heh...
And you'd agree, wouldn't you? =pWas very heartening to hear everyone's, particularly Mdm Azlina's reflections on our class eleven years ago, and how things have changed since then. Personally, it's rather hard to believe that now i have an ex-classmate who should be getting married soon, one doing her masters, one who smokes, a regular, a chemist, and many others too...
Speaking of jobs and majors - i dunno why almost everyone either raised an eyebrow or grimaced at my mention that i am a history major and am gonna teach - hmm... Am i really worlds apart from them? Well maybe, considering that the dominant language there was indeed Mandarin - which reminded me of the fact that i was the only one from our class (supposedly the best em2 class) to be relegated to the 'special' Chinese class in the depths of the building - where i eventually toiled hard enough at the %$@# language to get a C - which in my eyes was even better methinks than getting As and A*s for the other subjects... In fact, that was one of the things that some people remembered about me, that i struggled and struggled with the language - well, just like my appearance, think that my command of the language, or rather the lack of it, too has not changed much since then... (Oh and just to note, all this started even BEFORE i had even stepped into an AC school thank you very much...)
As one of the first to arrive, and being a guy, i naturally felt obliged to help out in the setting up - and from this experience i learned how to fan dying but glowing embers into flame (and btw i tell you it's hard work - woke up this morning with arm muscles aching to a degree comparable to the time when i was kena tekan in taurus coy in bmt), as well as how to skewer chicken wings (which thankfully turned out far better than the other time a few years ago when i was tasked to skewer of all things, PRAWNS - yes - PRAWNS - so then i managed to withstand breathing through my nose for the whole duration, only to then accidentally puncture myself with a sharp and short spine at the backside of the wretched creature while attempting to skewer it- which of course did no good to my aversion to them...)
Oh, and another thing, many of them drove there - which was enough to get me kicking myself again and again for procrastinating getting a licence up till now, and probably till long after i return as well...
Then today was the first day of school for me - honestly i dunno how in future i am gonna do it - cos if school life entails reaching the place by early 7ish in the morning, that means if i want to do my quiet time first then i'll have to get up around early 5ish every day - which would in the long run entail sleeping by latest eleven pm on average - highly impossible for me...
So needless to say i couldn't wake up early enough to do my qt prior to leaving the house, but anyway got there and then i had to make a conscious effort to adopt a more serious persona - for exameple when they introduced us to the school, i was about to give them one of my cheesy grins that i normally give when i bump into people along the corridors of nus, when i realised that i should be more teacher-ish, so i just smiled simply and raised my hand instead. Yup it had to be Mr Tay, not blur and moody me who was there today...
But anyway, it was quite enjoyable i must say, even though the work in store promises to be a lot and the learning curve very expotentially shaped... The staff are generally very friendly and accomodating people as are the other three guys also attached to the school (all easties =). Haven't had a chance to really see how the boys are like, but think they should be fine lah - or at least i hope...
(Oh, and i must say that you really should check out an all guys school the morning after the world cup finals - if you get my drift... I'd like to think that yours truly, not giving two hoots about the match, would be wide awake in comparison for once heh...)
Friday, July 07, 2006
the obligatory FOC reflection post
so i was thinking of delaying typing this to tomorrow morning - but knowing me and my (severly deficient) data retention system, i figured that i'm better off reflecting now [ahem, and also because i just realised that my missionary biography review is due tomorrow and i'm only like a few chapters into the book as i type this, and i figured there's no way i can complete the book and the review before tomorrow, so shall instead do something that is more feasible to complete...]...
well, i did share some reflections just now, but as usual my extremely slow data processing system meant that a lot of what i wanted to say was not said since had no time to think about it so i shall maybe say some of it here if i can still remember it.
yup basically was very much looking forward to this camp, at the least since it provided a good opportunity for me to attend a cf camp as an ordinary camper and nothing more (my second chance to do this after last year's ANNTIC) because, as i shared, being an ordinary camper allows for much better data absorption since you are not so bothered with duties and what not (of course i am not saying that you should only attend a camp as an ordinary camper because taking up some kind of role has its own great benefits too), especially so in between periods of extreme activity (MEET trip, SEP prep, teaching, SEP itself) - the camp provided a little respite of sorts, whereby i had no way to be distracted by email checking and all that nonsense. And maybe the fact that i'm flying off so soon added to the whole relaxed atmosphere for me...
Of course, now i realise that in anticipation of the camp, i had not once ever expected anything from the teaching - or in fact given the teaching and the theme little if any thought. Well thankfully the Lord had different ideas and used his servant Edmund to minister in very deep ways to myself (and i believe every other camper too). Things that i often tended to ignore and not give a second thought about doing(or a first thought, for that matter), like eating sweets and candy bars in the library suddenly came back to slap me in the face as i realised that even for these leetle things are still in their own leetle ways means of disregarding authority figures. Additionally, at the moment when he was talking about that, i chuckled to myself when i thought about the many times when the question "Shall i jaywalk or not?" when i am at the crossing is answered in my head with "well, that depends upon whether you are wearing a Christian shirt, isn't it?". Well, that answer is wrong, the correct answer HAS to be a big flat NO... Hmmm... And these are but two of the myriad things that in fact all add up to one huge level of mediocre holiness. At the heart of holiness is obedience - and my disobediance in these things that i brush aside as merely trivial is simply unacceptable in God's eyes...
The Lord also challenged me with regards to my over-indulgence in the features of my own comfort zone - in areas such as interactions with other people - whereby i tend to shy away from unfamiliar people and all the more from so-called unloveable people. Well, now i am reminded that all of us, of course with myself included, really ought to have been unloveable in God's eyes because of our inherent sinful nature, which cannot coexist with God in His holiness. Of course, even in our own unlovable-ness, God still in His amazing love sent His Son Jesus Christ to die on the cross to redeem us from our sins - n act of grace so undeserved considering how unloveable we actually should have been in God's eyes. And so, who am i to ignore God's example and brush off such unfamiliar and unloveable people? It's a great challenge, that's for sure, but again as i always say (and you can never say too much of this) ultimately it is not up to us to put in all our own effort in doing this because it counts for nothing - the attitude of humility and total surrender to God is what is needed, for only He is able to surmount our human weaknesses (for His power is made perfect in our weakness - 2 Cor 12:9)...
Also with regards to evangelism, to be more aware of the situations that God has placed me in and to be more convicted of the spiritual reality of those who do not yet know Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Saviour - that they will spend an eternity apart from Him. Even in the little things - how can i show myself to others to be a Christian - and possibly from there to share the gospel? It can be through simple things like wearing a Christian shirt (and not jaywalking whle wearing it haha) when you go and meet up with friends (which is by the way what i intend to do for my primary 6 class reunion on sunday night...) or through subtly dropping Christian stuff into conversations or emails or things like that... And of course to actively and consistently pray for my pre-believer friends...
Oh well, apart from some of the things that the Lord challenged me with in the course of the theme talks, there also were the worship sessions which once again really spoke to me - i can honestly say that no session passed without me wiping my eyes - because the Lord was reminding me through the songs and through other means of the great harvest field that we have even in campus (and by implication the ultra-enormous harvest field beyond campus) and how His desire is for all these people to be like us and sing from our hearts songs of praise to our God. I was sharing a lot about taking spiritual ownership of campus - but i suppose that given that evangelism forms an essential part of taking this spiritual ownership, that perhaps i'd be like Mr Black Pot talking to an audience of kettles... The vision of the multitudes from all nations endlessly praising His name in Revelation - we have a part to play in the eventual fulfillment of that - but what is done in response to my recognition of this?
On a less serious note, the camp also provided for me the opportunity to get to meet many new people, both freshies and seniors - since this time i was not occupied with organizing games here and writing a song there [of course, even among the new people, certain familiar things remained - for example - if i threw a stone at random, chances are i'd hit an ACSian (though, knowing my throwing skills, possibly not because of the sheer abundance of ACSians, but rather because i'd somehow hit myself instead =p)] My group Moses was filled with a great and somewhat diverse bunch of people, most of whom i either did not know or was only merely somewhat acquainted with prior to the camp - i always lament as to how during cf camps i always seem to be put into groups where i do not know most of the other people - but now i realise that perhaps this is God's way of - as mentioned earlier - making me get out of my puny comfort zone and be in a way forced to get to know unfamiliar people. Well I am really glad to have met and known every single person in my group, and i thank God for each of them =) A minor regret perhaps is having to be away to do annoying SEP stuff on the first day such that i didn't get to be around for a good portion of the icebreakers and perhaps know more about them... Also, of course to see so many cf people for the first time since i came back - that was great too... And also i felt rather encouraged to see many of the ex-freshies step up to serve as comm members and ogls and what not - it's like the passing on of the baton - which of course also makes me feel really old *bleah* But seriously, their enthusiasm and energy is really very heartening to see =)
The unfamiliar bed syndrome struck again during the camp - i found myself taking quite some time to fall asleep even though i was dead tired every night, and always woke up hours before sunrise. Of course i looked forward to this so that i could go for a pre-dawn run (ippt two weeks away and counting) since at home my bed is way too welcoming for me to even think of waking up early to run. Good to get some exercise - because i seriously am quite worried about the silly thing itself - even to merely pass... But i digress... Anyway, the wake up meant early run which meant early shower which meant early and longer quiet time, which i really appreciated - MEET trip made me realise that i was not spending enough time in personal prayer time with God - tried to do more of this during FOC to limited success - worked for a while this morning but i was too sleepy - such that i had to drink a whole can of Nescafe Ice (which tastes strange btw). The beach also was a great place for quiet time - cool enough, peaceful, without much distractions, fairly clean [as opposed to ecp, which doesn't really work for me (but then again, i can never wake up early enough to get to the beach in the early morning anyway)]
Anyway, it feels strange to have left the camp, which is strange since i don't think it in total lasted more than 80 hours... Suddenly there's no one around but Bingo... *woof*
well, i did share some reflections just now, but as usual my extremely slow data processing system meant that a lot of what i wanted to say was not said since had no time to think about it so i shall maybe say some of it here if i can still remember it.
yup basically was very much looking forward to this camp, at the least since it provided a good opportunity for me to attend a cf camp as an ordinary camper and nothing more (my second chance to do this after last year's ANNTIC) because, as i shared, being an ordinary camper allows for much better data absorption since you are not so bothered with duties and what not (of course i am not saying that you should only attend a camp as an ordinary camper because taking up some kind of role has its own great benefits too), especially so in between periods of extreme activity (MEET trip, SEP prep, teaching, SEP itself) - the camp provided a little respite of sorts, whereby i had no way to be distracted by email checking and all that nonsense. And maybe the fact that i'm flying off so soon added to the whole relaxed atmosphere for me...
Of course, now i realise that in anticipation of the camp, i had not once ever expected anything from the teaching - or in fact given the teaching and the theme little if any thought. Well thankfully the Lord had different ideas and used his servant Edmund to minister in very deep ways to myself (and i believe every other camper too). Things that i often tended to ignore and not give a second thought about doing(or a first thought, for that matter), like eating sweets and candy bars in the library suddenly came back to slap me in the face as i realised that even for these leetle things are still in their own leetle ways means of disregarding authority figures. Additionally, at the moment when he was talking about that, i chuckled to myself when i thought about the many times when the question "Shall i jaywalk or not?" when i am at the crossing is answered in my head with "well, that depends upon whether you are wearing a Christian shirt, isn't it?". Well, that answer is wrong, the correct answer HAS to be a big flat NO... Hmmm... And these are but two of the myriad things that in fact all add up to one huge level of mediocre holiness. At the heart of holiness is obedience - and my disobediance in these things that i brush aside as merely trivial is simply unacceptable in God's eyes...
The Lord also challenged me with regards to my over-indulgence in the features of my own comfort zone - in areas such as interactions with other people - whereby i tend to shy away from unfamiliar people and all the more from so-called unloveable people. Well, now i am reminded that all of us, of course with myself included, really ought to have been unloveable in God's eyes because of our inherent sinful nature, which cannot coexist with God in His holiness. Of course, even in our own unlovable-ness, God still in His amazing love sent His Son Jesus Christ to die on the cross to redeem us from our sins - n act of grace so undeserved considering how unloveable we actually should have been in God's eyes. And so, who am i to ignore God's example and brush off such unfamiliar and unloveable people? It's a great challenge, that's for sure, but again as i always say (and you can never say too much of this) ultimately it is not up to us to put in all our own effort in doing this because it counts for nothing - the attitude of humility and total surrender to God is what is needed, for only He is able to surmount our human weaknesses (for His power is made perfect in our weakness - 2 Cor 12:9)...
Also with regards to evangelism, to be more aware of the situations that God has placed me in and to be more convicted of the spiritual reality of those who do not yet know Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Saviour - that they will spend an eternity apart from Him. Even in the little things - how can i show myself to others to be a Christian - and possibly from there to share the gospel? It can be through simple things like wearing a Christian shirt (and not jaywalking whle wearing it haha) when you go and meet up with friends (which is by the way what i intend to do for my primary 6 class reunion on sunday night...) or through subtly dropping Christian stuff into conversations or emails or things like that... And of course to actively and consistently pray for my pre-believer friends...
Oh well, apart from some of the things that the Lord challenged me with in the course of the theme talks, there also were the worship sessions which once again really spoke to me - i can honestly say that no session passed without me wiping my eyes - because the Lord was reminding me through the songs and through other means of the great harvest field that we have even in campus (and by implication the ultra-enormous harvest field beyond campus) and how His desire is for all these people to be like us and sing from our hearts songs of praise to our God. I was sharing a lot about taking spiritual ownership of campus - but i suppose that given that evangelism forms an essential part of taking this spiritual ownership, that perhaps i'd be like Mr Black Pot talking to an audience of kettles... The vision of the multitudes from all nations endlessly praising His name in Revelation - we have a part to play in the eventual fulfillment of that - but what is done in response to my recognition of this?
On a less serious note, the camp also provided for me the opportunity to get to meet many new people, both freshies and seniors - since this time i was not occupied with organizing games here and writing a song there [of course, even among the new people, certain familiar things remained - for example - if i threw a stone at random, chances are i'd hit an ACSian (though, knowing my throwing skills, possibly not because of the sheer abundance of ACSians, but rather because i'd somehow hit myself instead =p)] My group Moses was filled with a great and somewhat diverse bunch of people, most of whom i either did not know or was only merely somewhat acquainted with prior to the camp - i always lament as to how during cf camps i always seem to be put into groups where i do not know most of the other people - but now i realise that perhaps this is God's way of - as mentioned earlier - making me get out of my puny comfort zone and be in a way forced to get to know unfamiliar people. Well I am really glad to have met and known every single person in my group, and i thank God for each of them =) A minor regret perhaps is having to be away to do annoying SEP stuff on the first day such that i didn't get to be around for a good portion of the icebreakers and perhaps know more about them... Also, of course to see so many cf people for the first time since i came back - that was great too... And also i felt rather encouraged to see many of the ex-freshies step up to serve as comm members and ogls and what not - it's like the passing on of the baton - which of course also makes me feel really old *bleah* But seriously, their enthusiasm and energy is really very heartening to see =)
The unfamiliar bed syndrome struck again during the camp - i found myself taking quite some time to fall asleep even though i was dead tired every night, and always woke up hours before sunrise. Of course i looked forward to this so that i could go for a pre-dawn run (ippt two weeks away and counting) since at home my bed is way too welcoming for me to even think of waking up early to run. Good to get some exercise - because i seriously am quite worried about the silly thing itself - even to merely pass... But i digress... Anyway, the wake up meant early run which meant early shower which meant early and longer quiet time, which i really appreciated - MEET trip made me realise that i was not spending enough time in personal prayer time with God - tried to do more of this during FOC to limited success - worked for a while this morning but i was too sleepy - such that i had to drink a whole can of Nescafe Ice (which tastes strange btw). The beach also was a great place for quiet time - cool enough, peaceful, without much distractions, fairly clean [as opposed to ecp, which doesn't really work for me (but then again, i can never wake up early enough to get to the beach in the early morning anyway)]
Anyway, it feels strange to have left the camp, which is strange since i don't think it in total lasted more than 80 hours... Suddenly there's no one around but Bingo... *woof*
Sunday, July 02, 2006
so old already
Yesterday was my mother's birthday, so part of the larger family went down to Sizzler (i dunno what's our affinity with this place - it's my second time there in two weeks). As usual i stuffed myself silly (a recurring theme in my eating habits ever since Thailand) with salad, soup, lamb chops and ice cream. What was interesting was how my two aunts and my cousin Ann were excitedly talking about soccer, especially the upcoming Germany-Argentina clash; while the interest of yours truly, the sole male in between them, was not even piqued to the slightest extent...
Today i went down with the folks to one of my old churches - we were there from 1992 to 1995 - or in other words, what seems to me to be eons ago. Went there to attend the wedding reception of one church member, someone whom i distinctly remember visiting the house of a long long time ago, where i joined her in dismembering her barbie dolls and then proceeding to throw the body parts all over the room - and now she's married - go figure...
Well, i was only in this particular church for a few years, so my memories of it are not as profound as say the next church, where i was for all of nine years. But still, there were loads of familiar-looking people. I realised that since i was already of a reasonable age when i was there, i have somewhat no excuse not to recognise all the church members, unlike my current church for example, since when our family first left it i was all of two and a half years old, sowhen we returned to this current church two years ago, i had an excuse not to recognise the scores of people who were greeting me and saying stuff like "wah, so big now!"...
So what i mean to say is that today in this church during the reception i encountered many familiarish people who similarly made random comments to the effect of conveying to me the fact that i've grown so much since the last time they saw me (which of course is a given since i was like primary 6 when many of them last saw me...), but this time, i felt compelled to greet them and say their names (which thankfully i remembered more often than not) when i did so, since i was already able to recognise and carry out reasonable amounts of conversation with them even all those years ago...
All in all, the whole experience today made me realise how old i actually am now - my fellow barbie dismemberer is only a year older than me - and now she's married. Additionally, her younger brother and other people whom i remember as little tots when i was there are now in JC and army and all that stuff - in fact i could not for the life of me recognise any of them until i heard their names. And you know that when you reach the stage where you marvel at how much others have grown to the point of them being unrecognisable since you last saw them that you yourself are getting on in years. And in fact almost half of my current life has passed since i left this church. Ah well - to look at it from a more positive point of view, the older you get, the closer you are to leaving this temporal existence and being assured of eternal life in a better place...
On a semi-related note, i happened to chance upon happy floor-cleaning powder at the reception. It turns out that she's distantly related to the aforementioned barbie dismemberer - quite cool to see how all these connections can occur in this small world of ours...
After we got back, i decided to go for a run at ecp again (my first since a pretty bad attempt at a run while i was still in Thailand) so as to prepare for the impending ippt as well as to burn off the excess of the aforementioned visit to Sizzler - it turned out pretty well methinks - 38min 45 sec from parkway to round the lagoon and back again. What alarmed me however was after that when i stopped by a pull up bar just to see my standard, since pull ups are probably the most dangerous ippt station since my clearing it probably would be dependent upon whether i do at least 6 of them. Well, needless to say, i struggled and kicked my way to only four. And ippt is in just under than three weeks - aaaaahhhhh...
Today i went down with the folks to one of my old churches - we were there from 1992 to 1995 - or in other words, what seems to me to be eons ago. Went there to attend the wedding reception of one church member, someone whom i distinctly remember visiting the house of a long long time ago, where i joined her in dismembering her barbie dolls and then proceeding to throw the body parts all over the room - and now she's married - go figure...
Well, i was only in this particular church for a few years, so my memories of it are not as profound as say the next church, where i was for all of nine years. But still, there were loads of familiar-looking people. I realised that since i was already of a reasonable age when i was there, i have somewhat no excuse not to recognise all the church members, unlike my current church for example, since when our family first left it i was all of two and a half years old, sowhen we returned to this current church two years ago, i had an excuse not to recognise the scores of people who were greeting me and saying stuff like "wah, so big now!"...
So what i mean to say is that today in this church during the reception i encountered many familiarish people who similarly made random comments to the effect of conveying to me the fact that i've grown so much since the last time they saw me (which of course is a given since i was like primary 6 when many of them last saw me...), but this time, i felt compelled to greet them and say their names (which thankfully i remembered more often than not) when i did so, since i was already able to recognise and carry out reasonable amounts of conversation with them even all those years ago...
All in all, the whole experience today made me realise how old i actually am now - my fellow barbie dismemberer is only a year older than me - and now she's married. Additionally, her younger brother and other people whom i remember as little tots when i was there are now in JC and army and all that stuff - in fact i could not for the life of me recognise any of them until i heard their names. And you know that when you reach the stage where you marvel at how much others have grown to the point of them being unrecognisable since you last saw them that you yourself are getting on in years. And in fact almost half of my current life has passed since i left this church. Ah well - to look at it from a more positive point of view, the older you get, the closer you are to leaving this temporal existence and being assured of eternal life in a better place...
On a semi-related note, i happened to chance upon happy floor-cleaning powder at the reception. It turns out that she's distantly related to the aforementioned barbie dismemberer - quite cool to see how all these connections can occur in this small world of ours...
After we got back, i decided to go for a run at ecp again (my first since a pretty bad attempt at a run while i was still in Thailand) so as to prepare for the impending ippt as well as to burn off the excess of the aforementioned visit to Sizzler - it turned out pretty well methinks - 38min 45 sec from parkway to round the lagoon and back again. What alarmed me however was after that when i stopped by a pull up bar just to see my standard, since pull ups are probably the most dangerous ippt station since my clearing it probably would be dependent upon whether i do at least 6 of them. Well, needless to say, i struggled and kicked my way to only four. And ippt is in just under than three weeks - aaaaahhhhh...
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