by His grace

Have been on the verge of being officially sick for the past few days ('officially' meaning having the sickness being serious enough to warrant a visit to the doctor - the more previous times before this having been during army when, let's face it, even when you are in the pink of health, you do occasionally just want to see the doc and go home and rest - the time that happened while i was in bmt was just about one of the happiest moments in my military life), felt like all energy was just sapped from me, and i was practically dragging myself through school most of yesterday in particular, and, from what i heard from others, looked rather out-of-sorts. Today was a little better but still felt rather horrible, particularly in the morning.

*koff koff*

In fact, was feeling so %^#@ as i woke up this morning and as i headed to school that i entertained the thought at the back of my mind that should this %^#@-ness continue, i would just head home after class and hope that miraculously cg would turn out fine, even though i was supposed to be the one facilitating the BS...

Furthermore, was experiencing all sorts of problems with the BS itself, cos had really no idea as to how to go about with it. The topic was 'relationships', and i felt totally unprepared and unqualified to facilitate this study since i thought that it was akin to perhaps the various idiot European newspapers collaborating to write an article on "how to be respectful of foreign religions in cartoons". How, i thought, was i to handle the thingy, while still going along with God's word (it is a Bible study after all), and not having it degenerate into some maudlin Oprah-style gossip-fest.

*koff wheeeeze koff*

Oh well, i do believe that it was the Lord who gave me the strength to get through the day today, and also to handle the study ok as well. I know this cos at the start of the study itself i had practically no idea as to how to lead it, and all that subsequently came out of my mouth was therefore really spoken by the Lord through me. It's so wonderful as to how He can use us in such cool ways for His purposes.

So once again i have been humbled by how He has seen me through both this day, in my less-than-ideal health, as well as specifically in the BS itself. In my own inadequacy, the Lord has shown his more-than-sufficiency =)

*koff kooooff*

In related news, the words of this song that Sida led for worship today really ministered to me. Here's a bit of it:

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise.
When the darkness closes in
Lord, still I will say.

Blessed be the Name of the Lord,
Blessed be Your name.
Blessed be the Name of the Lord,
Blessed be Your glorious name.

You give and take away,
You give and take away.
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name.

Amen.

*koff*