the unearthly hour

How does yours truly end up wide awake at four in the morning, and furthermore having had been so for the past twenty or so hours? How is it that from one look at his face he looks like a long-abandoned castaway on Survivor? How is it that he has not brushed his teeth in two days, nor eaten any dinner the previous night apart from five cream crackers?

It's a real long story you know, but to cut it short - it all has to do with that old bugaboo - moving house. Every new day, its annoyances unfold. Filling my mind, with more grumbles untold (well, at least until now, although i shall keep it real short since now i do feel sleepy again...)

It's been a real tiring couple of days for us all,
with Bingo not being an exception...

By the end of moving most of the stuff to the new place,
this is what greeted me when i tried to enter my room.
"How do i enter thee? Let me count the ways... Eh, none!"

Hmm maybe i'll elaborate more once this day's sleep catches up with me...

Ma vie dans les images...

Not even sure if the French is correct (think it's wrong...) but anyways...

In just about two days' time, i should be leaving here...

In order to spend the first of countless nights over here...

While still occasionally wishing i was still staying here...

Go figure...

nyet, not yet...

The other day the family went down to Borshch in Serangoon Gardens for dinner. Once upon a time we used to go there at least once a month, but that ritual ended when we moved over to the East, and it's been years since i last went there... But going back there reminded me of the umpteen times i'd go there and order the same thing time and time again - the $12.80 (now $13.80) set dinner with appetiser choice of shrimp cocktail or caviar with egg (no prizes for guessing which one i went for); soup choice of borshch or cream of mushroom (choosing the former is a no brainer - if they name the restaurant after the dish then it had better be good...); main course choice of several things which i barely remember cos my eyes would almost always automatically be drawn to the sirloin steak (first medium, then later in life, medium rare after i discovered the joys of semi-bloody meat - and i never contracted mad cow disease or salmonella, dun worry); drink choice of coffee, tea, coke or sprite (almost always took sprite - though now they've switched allegiances and offer pepsi or 7up instead); and dessert choice of fancy pancake or peach melba (and with the 'fancy' part of the former amounting to it being filled with banana, i'd automatically go for the latter...)

Um, looks like i got carried away there heh... But my point is that the food is not exactly the best around. It's really just above average at best (one thing that never changes is the ever-yellowing newspaper article from some time in the 80s promoting the restaurant, proudly displayed on one of the walls). But the draw of the place (such that by the end of the visit i resolved to go to the place a little more regularly - at least once a year...) lies for me purely in the nostalgia value that it holds. I've been going to that place since before it moved and was about half the size of what it is now - which is probably like since p1 in 1990 (which i now realize is a heck of a long time ago - after finding out that Keisha Castle-Hughes, the once 13-year-old star of Whale Rider was both born that year and also had her first child a couple of months ago) or even before that, and those memories all came flooding back when i went back there... Like how that's the only place i recall ever having eaten frog's legs (tastes like chicken). To top it all off, one particular waitress whom has been there for as long as i can remember took one look at me while we were ordering, and then before she left asked if i was the small boy who once upon a time was half my present height and who once frequented the place...

It's all but confirmed that this thurs nite will be the last night spent at my old house. However, that's dependent in large part on whether i can muster up the necessary willpower to pack everything by then. Sheesh. In the meantime, i'm continually unearthing stuff postmaturely like quiet time material that i had thought had not arrived but in actual fact was hidden under a pile of paper on a shelf somewhere, or old vouchers that expired months, if not years ago... It's almost like i'm conducting some sort of archeological dig...

Really need to settle travel details - i was just wondering if i might need to take a new passport picture, but i guess the aforementioned waitress recognizing me from more than half my life ago puts paid to those thoughts... Just hope that when i go through immigration wherever i am going to, no one will think i'm a terrorist...

Of moving near and far...

So moving has been going along really slowly - i don't recall taking so long to move stuff the five previous times - but then again i'm not complaining cos 1) i'm still reluctant to finally leave the old house n 2) in that vein i've been taking ages to pack things up.

After one grueling morning of emptying cupboards and binding random flat-surfaced thingies up with raffia string, i took a quick scan of the room only to realize that it looks almost exactly the same as it did previously. Which means that there's still an awful lot of packing to do. Methinks that when push comes to shove i'll do just that - shove any possession of mine that has to be moved into any available container which looks able to carry the stuff without damage over to the new place. That may be a little tricky, considering especially the sheer amount of clothing there is to handle. Most of it is stuff that i never even wear and hence perhaps is more suited to be given away (and why do we only give away used/unwanted clothes to say disaster-ravaged people in a less wealthy country and not brand new stuff? But that's another issue for another day). And i am so certain that once the shift is complete i'll look at all the random bundles and boxes stacked all around my new room and have no clue where i put this and that, ending up having to ransack everything again in order to find the stuff... Ah the joys of moving house...

While doing this there have also been various meetings to go for along with other ancillary activities. They might take up more time but i actually look forward to each one of them in a sense, since they imply time away from the boredom of packing stuff. So they feed my procrastinator's nature perfectly. Eh which also means more last-minute moving stuff to be done...

And together with all of this i've been trying to plan any sort of trip that will take me out of this island (ok not any sort of trip - have turned down enough other options to make that statement terribly untrue). There's the oft-mentioned frequent flyer miles that i can use, but of course i'm having so much trouble trying to use them for the trip that i want, which means that i may have to redeem them elsewhere, which means another trip later in the break (basically whenever's not taken up by CF activities/planning for them). Looking through all the travel sites, i'm reminded of how while at UNC i did so much air ticket shopping online as well - and now how in comparison the destinations that i've to choose from are so much less appealing than the ones in the States were. Chicago v. Hong Kong, Washington D.C. v. Bangkok, Atlanta v. Ho Chi Minh. How to compete (eh i know i'm not a fan of travel to Asia so maybe to most sure can compete)? Yup for me, i sometimes wish that S'pore were nearer some more attractive (to me) places so travel to them would not have to be so expensive... Then again, i guess many people in those parts that i am really interested in visiting might wish the same for places in Asia...

Here's something to put you (or maybe just the guys) off your breakfast - i still squirm just thinking about it...

My Room, or The Veritable Dust Warren

We've finally plunged into the moving process, which means that i've finally had to step up and stop dreaming that my room will pack itself.

In the process i've discovered that my room has a latent alter-ego, that of being a sanctuary for scores and scores and then some of dust bunnies. Be they feeding off the dust stirred up by the fan, breeding by the dozens in some dank corner, or hiding in some remote cranny; in trying to pack things up i've realized that they indeed do lurk everywhere. If i were asthmatic i predict that i'd have already been in hospital by now. And i wonder if standing by a bus stop downwind from a smoker would do less damage to my lungs than merely clearing my room. At the least, i've definitely sneezed more in the past 24 hours than i have than in the rest of the month.

The actual process of packing is a bit tricky too. Yest i cleared one desk of everything, since today it was bundled over to the new place. But then again, it was not so much clearing as taking all the mess that was on/in it and transferring it to another piece of furniture that has yet to be cleared. So if i continue this pattern throughout the moving process, chances are that by the time one piece of furniture is left, it will be precariously stacked sky-high with stuff, amounting to a stuff avalanche red-alert having to be called.

Making things worse is the fact that i tend to hoard, such that sometimes even the most useless junk is stil worth keeping in my eyes. This practice of mine has undoubtedly contributed to the mess that is my room today, and it looks like a pattern that is unlikely to be broken anytime soon...

S'porean Wasp?

Last night i went for the second of three weddings i was invited for over the course of this week. This one was somewhat different since it was not a CF but rather an army affair. One of the fellow specs from my platoon in unit, to be exact. I got to see several people (including the groom, actually) for the first time since ord, which was quite cool. Apparently i look way different from a mere three years ago, since Hong Lee (the groom) gave me a weird stare and thought i was an intruder when i said hi initially, took him a couple of secs to realize who i actually was, which was quite farny...

The wedding itself was a great experience for me. For starters, it was the first non-Christian wedding i recall ever attending, so i found things quite different and unfamiliar. Furthermore, after three long years i was suddenly thrust back into a generally local mandarin/dialect speaking environment - apart from David, another spec at the table, everyone else was far more comfortable talking in the aforementioned languages. It made me recall how much people last time had to accommodate me language wise, since it was only then that i realized that the majority of Singapore does not speak English as the first language of choice, and therefore only then that i made a conscious attempt to try and better my command of Chinese languages (to little success, might i add)... Yeah so all in all it made me realize that my social circles still largely are of the Christian, English-speaking variety, which gave (and still is giving) me a lot to think about... (but then again, i'm not exactly of the elite, uncaring face variety so maybe that's a step in the right direction...)

Added to that was a simple question that Derrick, another spec, asked me while he was giving me a ride home. He asked me something to the effect of "eh Matthew, i noticed something. How come last time you never invited us to church?" Oh boy and if i could just describe the sheer impact of the figurative tonne of bricks that fell on me when he asked that... I didn't even know how to answer him.

Yup, a short three years ago i really was a totally bochap Christian who would not even consider inviting anyone to come to church. My involvement in spreading the Gospel at that time was strictly limited to the (and i hate this term) 'lifestyle' school. But then again people may have known i was a Christian then, but upon closer examination the 'Christian' nature of my lifestyle then came into serious question... A poor testimony. Something i'm definitely regretful about till today. Anyways, things may have changed somewhat since then, but still, i'm not too sure about inviting people down. The importance of sincerity, intentionality, and a Christlike love in so doing is really ringing across my mind now, three things sorely lacking in then. Yup anyways that was a very timely God-given wake-up call for me i must say...

It turns out that Bingo's little fit yesterday was not a once-off, as today the same thing happened yet again, albeit not as seriously as it did the first time. I'm starting to have serious doubts about his level of health, but as i've said previously, we'll just see what happens...

Packing has been going pretty well - today i doubled the amount i've packed. But then again, that equals to filling up the other half of the small box of files i started with like two weeks ago... At least i've more time to pack, since i just received word that we only can move in from the 15th onwards, which gives me one more week to settle stuff.

Think i've decided to forgo catching pirates 3, owing to both bad reviews and laziness... Well, i'm sure if and when pirates 4 comes out channel 5 will trot pirates 3 out as it's latest tv premiere blockbuster... So that still leaves me with only one movie caught this year... Heh.

Am starting to narrow down possible destinations for trip. Parents are going to HK, which i've chosen to avoid like the plague, so no go for that. Phuket/Khao Lak is a big possibility, but even if i go for that i've still some expiring miles that need to be used. Maybe Manila is an option... Ah well. A positive dilemma, i call it, so can't complain...

CCC 101

Was watching a Frasier DVD just now over lunch when i heard a squeal coming from the dining room, where Bingo was loitering about. Figured that it was just one of his routine muscle-aching moments (at his age, they seem to come pretty regularly nowsaday, especially if he has just accidentally slipped or something), so i didn't give him much notice. But then he continued to squeal and squeal (usually it's just a once-off thing) so i went over to take a look at him. Turns out his right rear leg was probably seizing up for some reason or other (cramp, sprain etc...) and he was hobbling around the house and unable to even lie down, cos whenever he tried to do so, he'd just aggravate the pain and howl even more...

Eh so i really had no idea what to do as he went on like this for the next five minutes, beyond laying on of hands and prayer (seriously). He seriously looked to be in great agony, and i hadn't a clue as to what else to do. Heck, i didn't even have the number of a vet with me, nor could i bring him over to one since i can't drive.

Yup so as i was saying, the best i could do was pray that the pain would go away... And thankfully after five minutes or so he finally calmed down and appeared to be in less pain, another five minutes and he was lying down once again, as if nothing had happened...

In retrospect, i was somehow reminded of MEET and all that was said about effective communication and contextualization. Obviously my skills at canine communication and contextualization are sorely lacking, which turned out to Bingo's detriment since he could not convey to me what the problem was, nor could i try and massage his leg or do anything that in my eyes constituted as treatment as he would not understand that it would be for his own good and hence would probably try and bite me. Any desparate attempt at barking and head nudging on my part in order to let him know what i wanted to do would probably not be well-received by him at all...

And bringing this into a missions context, it reminds me of the futility of trying to share the Gospel to a foreign people group sans at least some knowledge of their language/culture etc since if i tried to do so my attempts would fall on deaf ears. I'd really have no other recourse than to pray for a direct revelation of the Gospel Message via the work of the HolySpirit. But the effective communication barrier would still be an issue whatever the case. Similarly, all i could really do for Bingo was to pray for the end to his pain by the grace of God as without proper communication, nothing else was a possibility. So when all things are considered, i guess my point is that ultimately our human efforts are finite, and it is God who is in control of everything... He succeeds where we fail, and the opposite is never true.

Hmm and where Bingo is concerned, i seriously dunno how things will be in the future, especially after we move and if he ends up still with us... Ah well, that's all in God's hands as well - we'll see what happens...

Yesterday we had a MEET Prathet Thai reunion thingy with Alan, Bessie and Hannah, with whom we spent a month with exactly a year ago. Went along with the previous team, like mine also amply stocked with thursday cg peeps. Anyways, it was great to catch up and remember some of the things we did back there. Haha those were some crazy times, but at the same time the lessons that i've learnt from way back then still have had an impact on where i am today by God's grace. It was really that trip that got me thinking that missions (on a longer short-term/long-term basis) is something that i'm actually open to, as the Lord leads, something cemented by my time at Urbana. Yup of course the mechanics and all of that stuff of it is still very very fuzzy (for starters the earliest i'd probably consider actually doing so would be after my bond is up - which is in 2013 so wait long long ah...) but well, if it's something the Lord wants of me i'm sure things will become clearer in His time... Dai mai? Dai!

All of us who were there yesterday - we ended up at Va Va Voom Vietnamese

let's pick cherries

well actually i dunno why i am posting anything here other than to add "juin 2007" to my archive list on the right - super boliao i know - think it arises from just coming back from a camp where there was so much to do practically all the time and then now finding myself back at home and with relatively nothing much to do (i could pack my stuff though, but i shall continue to procrastinate for that one).

So - LPC - a camp which all of maybe two or so weeks ago i was content on not attending, wanting to continue my streak of never having attended a single one before, but, owing to rather recent developments, i really had to attend at the end of the day. Furthermore, i'd be attending it not as an ordinary camper per se, but rather as one with a relatively active role to play. But, you know, quite like so many things that i'm initially unenthusiastic about but somehow the Lord wills it that i have to go for, i'm glad that i did end up at LPC, even if it means breaking my streak (and i'm one for nonsense streaks like that).

One cool thing about the camp was how it formed yet another step in my journey of getting reacquainted with VCF as a whole - think i've gone on ad libitum about being sorely out of touch with CF as a whole since coming back from exchange, which was inevitable really... And the past couple of weeks or so have served to exponentially (side note: methinks it was only this year that i realized that the word is 'exponential' and not 'expotential' - just imagine the number of essays in my student career where i may have been marked down cos of spelling errors owing to this...) increase my appreciation of the inherent dynamism and diversity of the corporate CF body, which is really in a sense a microcosm of the situation of the global body of Christ. And i guess being placed in a position when one has to try and help to convey a sense of this to others only served to bolster this appreciation...

So when thinking back on all this i really do see the Lord's hand working in this area - that the initial out-of-touchness with VCF that i experienced upon coming back still served a purpose in eventually helping me to better appreciate the united diversity of the ministry that He has blessed us with in VCF. To meet people from all over, hearing their own sharings on their respective ministries and therefore observing the differences between groups, yet still recognizing how we all serve the same God - fwah - that really blows my mind...