Saturday was kinda a reunion sorta day - in the afternoon went back to acjc for a choir 20th anniversary thanksgiving service thingy - it's hard to believe that it's already been seven years since leaving jc - but anyways, that was a good opportunity to touch base with old faces (not many, i was one of only two people from my batch who were there) and get reacquainted with some of the music that pulsated through my brain over those two years [me being the kind who retains music in my mind well, i honestly can still remember a good portion of the music and lyrics (in my part, at least) that formed our repertoire (well with four/five-hour-long rehearsals twice a week, it's hard not to actually)]. Good also to see again what the seemingly endless stream of fundraising we did during those two years went into (especially when the school is unadorned with makeshift stalls and decorations during funorama - which has been the only other reason i've been back there apart from this in recent history). And also (unlikely, but at least became more open to the possibility) a widening of potential posting opportunities post-nie. But at the same time i was also reminded of how out of touch i (was and) am with choir life in general. Heck.
After that it was time for a cross-country mrt ride (first of many more to come methinks in the near future) to another barker class reunion. Honestly, in the past two reunions i've attended this year, i would never have expected to enjoy myself as much as i did - it's great to see how everyone looks roughly the same but nevertheless seems to have grown a lot in the emotional/spiritual sense, and also look back on good times all those years ago. Everyone's really come a long way, though i must admit, many of the various classroom shenanigans that people were recalling were stuff i was hitherto unaware of.
I wonder now if that was at least in part because while in sec 3/4 i was admittedly a (relatively) guai student who probably was too busy being a guai student to notice that all this was going on, at a time when many of the others (by their own admission) didn't really study much during that time, but have since gone on to much greater things in their own right, such as getting into good schools and graduating with good degrees or finding a great job, that sorta thing - along those lines i seriously wonder if i had more or less exhausted whatever capacity i had to be that sort of guai student by the time nus, and in particular the period after coming back from exchange, came around, culminating in the spectacular academic failure that is my final sem. And along similar lines, whether my early involvement in all things VCF pre-exchange sort of sapped a good deal of the capacity i had for cf involvement in general, culminating in my dwindling energy put in to cf stuff over the last year (yes, in spite of being in exco), up to the state of near apathy that i seem to be feeling at this moment. Of course, as per my usual disclaimer, i am probably making things out to be far worse than they actually are, but in essence, it's all there.
Well, the obvious alternative to that hypothesis is that things just changed dramatically for me upon coming back from exchange - i've a good portion of what was written in the excellent report in Saturday's ST on disoriented S'poreans returning here after time abroad to support that theory (even if five months isn't exactly the longest of times, as compared to say years/decades). I'd like to think that it's a combination of the two, plus other random factors.
Oh well. i know how much i hate overthinking/overanalysis, and i figure that's exactly what i'm doing in the above, so let's keep it at that for now - just hope that things change soon enough...
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