Honors year - quite the challenge
So i'm led to think.
Cue the coy ambivalence.
Then the first week comes and goes,
Brain still in good form.
It may work out after all...
Alas, i check the forum -
Nineteen atas posts
I'm in way over my head
Saturday, August 18, 2007
plan b
So it's the beginning of the weekend and all, and i'd been meaning to finally try and recap my recent trip back to the motherland over here (not as much for others to read as for me to be able to have something concrete for me to actually recall what happened there in the distant future...)
Alas, circumstances have made it such that it is way past the time when my brain is normally capable of such deep recollective and reflective thought, so the aforementioned post will have to wait till another day for it to reach fruition. Instead i'll stick to random thoughts over the past couple of weeks.
The recently concluded summer break has in certain ways been anything but, owing to the amount of stuff that i had on my plate from both moving house and then settling in (which is, as always, a work in continual, and i fear eternal progress); as well as from cf stuff (which has thankfully been more enjoyable, but still time-consuming and tiring). Still, however, i'm glad it was, when all is said and done, a fulfilling one, not only due to the timely and sorely-needed quick escapes from S'pore to our friendly ASEAN neighbors; but i guess due to the stuff that contributed to busyness as well...
When i was recalling the year past and how i missed things that happened then, one thing that i forgot to mention was how last year's national day was my favorite one in a long time. Um, unfortunately, it was precisely because i was out of the country that it was my favorite one. Yeah (and i hope the people up there in charge of the national pottery don't take offense if they ever should read this) i'm sorry but i'm just not a fan of huge outward displays of patriotism. My personal take is that resources could be far better spent elsewhere, and particularly not spent on things like the commissioning of atas nat'l day songs that seem to be less your love for the country than a lesson in world geography cum a rubbing it in to the average S'porean who probably counts the occasional weekend trip up to Genting or even JB as a real treat that some of us (um and i readily admit i'm one of them) just have been blessed to have it much better or the choreographing equally atas mass display programs that seemed more a showcase either of unwilling or, worse yet, alarmingly enthu parade participants with drag queen outfitting and makeup (more befitting perhaps of The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert than of a country's birthday celebration - and yes, freaky red fish-man, i'm talking about you here...) than the retelling of the S'porean past.
It's not that i don't like this country (though once again i'll readily admit that many people love it more than i do), but rather exactly because i do that i shudder to see how it celebrates its birthday each tacky year after another. Well, if there's anything i am happy about from this year's festivities, is that the engineers played a key role in its execution, and that the guy in charge, the current CEO, is a real nice guy whom i respect from the time i was still serving. And if there's anything that i'm even happier about, it's that he was not tasked to do this five years ago, for if so i might be the one frustratingly burning weekends and then some for an event i don't really care much for...
And so now school has started... As i've probably mentioned somewhere before, i'm really thankful that my workload this year isn't that bad after all, owing to one times favorable exchange last year which cleared me of 37.5% of a typical honors year workload. That's freed up much deeply-treasured time for lots of other things.
It hasn't been all roses though. My classes (especially the honors ones), while hardly as bad as i thought they would be, are still nevertheless a challenge (for one of my classes, i nearly freaked out when i entered the room early and lo and behold the lecturer was talking to one grad student in Mandarin - i immediately put my bag down and went outside to check the room number, and it was correct - but it turns out that he was only talking to the student in Mandarin cos i guess more efficient communication could then be carried out - the proceeding lecture, save for the occasional, incomprehensible cheng yu here and there, was thankfully in English). The future of any possible thesis looks as grim as ever since yours truly is too indecisive thus far to narrow down a topic in any way (although the deadline is still weeks away, i know i'll procrastinate heaps) And the other day, i got so tired after four days of continuous activity, late nights and early mornings, that i think my energy level just fluctuated downwards drastically, so for the first time in my living memory i skipped cg to just go home and rest. I guess it's still early days yet though, so there's the unavoidable slow adjustments that have to be made...
Alas, circumstances have made it such that it is way past the time when my brain is normally capable of such deep recollective and reflective thought, so the aforementioned post will have to wait till another day for it to reach fruition. Instead i'll stick to random thoughts over the past couple of weeks.
The recently concluded summer break has in certain ways been anything but, owing to the amount of stuff that i had on my plate from both moving house and then settling in (which is, as always, a work in continual, and i fear eternal progress); as well as from cf stuff (which has thankfully been more enjoyable, but still time-consuming and tiring). Still, however, i'm glad it was, when all is said and done, a fulfilling one, not only due to the timely and sorely-needed quick escapes from S'pore to our friendly ASEAN neighbors; but i guess due to the stuff that contributed to busyness as well...
When i was recalling the year past and how i missed things that happened then, one thing that i forgot to mention was how last year's national day was my favorite one in a long time. Um, unfortunately, it was precisely because i was out of the country that it was my favorite one. Yeah (and i hope the people up there in charge of the national pottery don't take offense if they ever should read this) i'm sorry but i'm just not a fan of huge outward displays of patriotism. My personal take is that resources could be far better spent elsewhere, and particularly not spent on things like the commissioning of atas nat'l day songs that seem to be less your love for the country than a lesson in world geography cum a rubbing it in to the average S'porean who probably counts the occasional weekend trip up to Genting or even JB as a real treat that some of us (um and i readily admit i'm one of them) just have been blessed to have it much better or the choreographing equally atas mass display programs that seemed more a showcase either of unwilling or, worse yet, alarmingly enthu parade participants with drag queen outfitting and makeup (more befitting perhaps of The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert than of a country's birthday celebration - and yes, freaky red fish-man, i'm talking about you here...) than the retelling of the S'porean past.
It's not that i don't like this country (though once again i'll readily admit that many people love it more than i do), but rather exactly because i do that i shudder to see how it celebrates its birthday each tacky year after another. Well, if there's anything i am happy about from this year's festivities, is that the engineers played a key role in its execution, and that the guy in charge, the current CEO, is a real nice guy whom i respect from the time i was still serving. And if there's anything that i'm even happier about, it's that he was not tasked to do this five years ago, for if so i might be the one frustratingly burning weekends and then some for an event i don't really care much for...
And so now school has started... As i've probably mentioned somewhere before, i'm really thankful that my workload this year isn't that bad after all, owing to one times favorable exchange last year which cleared me of 37.5% of a typical honors year workload. That's freed up much deeply-treasured time for lots of other things.
It hasn't been all roses though. My classes (especially the honors ones), while hardly as bad as i thought they would be, are still nevertheless a challenge (for one of my classes, i nearly freaked out when i entered the room early and lo and behold the lecturer was talking to one grad student in Mandarin - i immediately put my bag down and went outside to check the room number, and it was correct - but it turns out that he was only talking to the student in Mandarin cos i guess more efficient communication could then be carried out - the proceeding lecture, save for the occasional, incomprehensible cheng yu here and there, was thankfully in English). The future of any possible thesis looks as grim as ever since yours truly is too indecisive thus far to narrow down a topic in any way (although the deadline is still weeks away, i know i'll procrastinate heaps) And the other day, i got so tired after four days of continuous activity, late nights and early mornings, that i think my energy level just fluctuated downwards drastically, so for the first time in my living memory i skipped cg to just go home and rest. I guess it's still early days yet though, so there's the unavoidable slow adjustments that have to be made...
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
second eye semi-blind
One of the countless things that irks me about moving and all is the inevitable loss of things left right and center. You can count two pairs of spectacles, two watches, a Bible, several vouchers and a bank book among the important enough things that have been at some point in time lost. Many of those things are in fact still lost - and what makes things more irritating is that by the time i get back everyday i'm really too tired to look for these things among the piles and boxes and bags and stuff all around my room.
Of the two pairs of specs, one is actually already broken so that doesn't really count - the other one is a remnant from army days (i.e. those style-less black plastic kinds). The fact that they've actually been missing for at least a month if not more now speaks volumes about the amount of reading that i've been doing the whole break, which basically apart from my qt has been an absolute zilch. So while i can see normally and all, the lazy right eye (takes after his owner, i must say) makes me feel dizzy and get slight headaches whenever i try to tackle less reader-friendly material (and my readings so fit that description) over a prolonged period of time. And now that school has started and i'm (for a rare fleeting moment) still in totally ons about school mode, the lack of specs is rather annoying...
And of course, owing to my sched, i don't think i'm able to go down and make a new pair till at least Saturday probably, which stinks. I haven't really had much time to do much much-needed regrouping and reorganization, on top of other duties that call... Bummer...
Of the two pairs of specs, one is actually already broken so that doesn't really count - the other one is a remnant from army days (i.e. those style-less black plastic kinds). The fact that they've actually been missing for at least a month if not more now speaks volumes about the amount of reading that i've been doing the whole break, which basically apart from my qt has been an absolute zilch. So while i can see normally and all, the lazy right eye (takes after his owner, i must say) makes me feel dizzy and get slight headaches whenever i try to tackle less reader-friendly material (and my readings so fit that description) over a prolonged period of time. And now that school has started and i'm (for a rare fleeting moment) still in totally ons about school mode, the lack of specs is rather annoying...
And of course, owing to my sched, i don't think i'm able to go down and make a new pair till at least Saturday probably, which stinks. I haven't really had much time to do much much-needed regrouping and reorganization, on top of other duties that call... Bummer...
Friday, August 10, 2007
hooray for the underdog (or more accurately, the underbuffalo)!
Have been quite the insomniac for some strange reason, even though i've ingested more alcohol today than probably the rest of the year combined...
But anyways, that sparked off a chain of events that culminated in me finding this gem of a video - real compelling viewing i must say... God's creation definitely never ceases to amaze =)
Now to find a way to get back to sleep...
Monday, August 06, 2007
wax and wane
The combination of having a good Sunday nap of four and a half hours, downing a cup of tea after dinner, and ingesting three panadols with a non drowsy formula has meant that yours truly now sits here alert and wide awake - something that at this time is a real rarity. So i've decided to kill time for a bit, hopefully by doing something productive rather than killing it with inane banter... And to that end i just wrote a little facebook note - fyr:
So it's actually just over a year since i left for exchange at UNC - i can't believe how quickly it's approached - i've always been one for remembering mundane dates such as this but lo and behold, maybe it's cos i've been way too busy over the past couple of days; that only today i realized that hey, last year this time i already was in the States (Oregon, to be exact), holidaying for a bit before flying cross-country to begin fall '06 semester, which at the end of the day turned out to be one of the best experiences i could ever have hoped for...
Yeah, and i compare myself today with a year ago, and realize that much has changed - last year i was all set and raring to go, real psyched about the great time that lay ahead, the cool people i would meet, the fun experiences that i'd go through, the more welcoming weather, hey, even the interesting courses that i would end up taking. This year on the other hand i look at classes that i'm signed up for and i just sigh. The environment too is just a real bucket of cold water compared to what it was like in UNC (or maybe i'm just being sentimental here i dunno). I mean, we're talking Singapore here - how stimulating an environment could that ever be? Eek.
But i guess i've much to be thankful for, for even the opportunity to be able to escape from NUS for a bit, even if it just were for a semester, and the chance to go through something different, that most others back here don't have a chance to experience eh... Yup so even as i've been waxing sentimental over the time long gone at UNC and in the States as a whole, at least i've had something to wax over i guess...
I must say, i've really been complaining more than my fair share recently, and particularly so once i got back from the Philippines - mainly these are silent complaints heard only by me (and God) though... I dunno, the more i look at how things are panning out for me in this (academic) year ahead, the more i want to scream. It's a real complex mishmash of issues that i dun really want to begin to even touch upon too much here and now. 1 Timothy 6:6 talks about godliness with contentment being great gain (and i hope i'm not too out of context here). Well, by inference from this verse, i've no great gain cos at this point in time i seem to be lacking in both (they really do go hand in hand i suppose)... Ah well - this is a work in progress, that's all i can say...
So it's actually just over a year since i left for exchange at UNC - i can't believe how quickly it's approached - i've always been one for remembering mundane dates such as this but lo and behold, maybe it's cos i've been way too busy over the past couple of days; that only today i realized that hey, last year this time i already was in the States (Oregon, to be exact), holidaying for a bit before flying cross-country to begin fall '06 semester, which at the end of the day turned out to be one of the best experiences i could ever have hoped for...
Yeah, and i compare myself today with a year ago, and realize that much has changed - last year i was all set and raring to go, real psyched about the great time that lay ahead, the cool people i would meet, the fun experiences that i'd go through, the more welcoming weather, hey, even the interesting courses that i would end up taking. This year on the other hand i look at classes that i'm signed up for and i just sigh. The environment too is just a real bucket of cold water compared to what it was like in UNC (or maybe i'm just being sentimental here i dunno). I mean, we're talking Singapore here - how stimulating an environment could that ever be? Eek.
But i guess i've much to be thankful for, for even the opportunity to be able to escape from NUS for a bit, even if it just were for a semester, and the chance to go through something different, that most others back here don't have a chance to experience eh... Yup so even as i've been waxing sentimental over the time long gone at UNC and in the States as a whole, at least i've had something to wax over i guess...
I must say, i've really been complaining more than my fair share recently, and particularly so once i got back from the Philippines - mainly these are silent complaints heard only by me (and God) though... I dunno, the more i look at how things are panning out for me in this (academic) year ahead, the more i want to scream. It's a real complex mishmash of issues that i dun really want to begin to even touch upon too much here and now. 1 Timothy 6:6 talks about godliness with contentment being great gain (and i hope i'm not too out of context here). Well, by inference from this verse, i've no great gain cos at this point in time i seem to be lacking in both (they really do go hand in hand i suppose)... Ah well - this is a work in progress, that's all i can say...
Saturday, August 04, 2007
Revisiting Khao Lak
I've been meaning for a long time to talk a bit about my time in Thailand earlier in the break, and finally now provides the perfect brief repose between loads of stuff to do in order to write a bit yup so here goes...
Well just to clarify, while i did go up to Thailand, i did not step a single foot into Bangkok, a place that despite my more than two months in total spent in Thailand i have yet to really visit apart from Don Muang, and which i'm really in no hurry to visit either cos i'm not really a shopping person (or at least not there) and i'm not a fan of crowds or traffic too. And since those are the three things i immediately associate with Bangkok, there's no real reason for me to go there is there...
I also did not go to Phuket - while my flight did land there, upon landing Clement and i immediately went up to Khao Lak in Phang Nga province, about a 90 minute ride north of Phuket. Now, Khao Lak is far less of a tourist trap than Phuket will (hopefully) ever be, especially so in July, which is smack dab in the middle of the tourist off-season in Khao Lak; this suiting me and my aversion to huge crowds just fine.
Well, as you can see from the above picture, Khao Lak now has some form of a Tsunami evacuation system in place, and for good reason too. It was one of the worst-affected areas of the Thai Andaman coast during the Boxing Day Tsunami of 2004, with tourists and locals alike numbering in the thousands being killed, and is still in the process of recovery from that devastation really. As i was strolling along the beautiful expanse of beach, i came across several simple memorials to those whose lives were lost that day. And there are still several places in the area which have obviously not even been touched since the Tsunami hit - and hence they lie abandoned and overgrown with creepers.
Observe those waves (which look far tamer than they actually were). Now imagine wave upon wave countless times more powerful than those you see relentlessly pounding the coastline and all in its path. Can you? Well i could barely imagine it myself. But basically in considering that, i was reminded of the awesomeness of nature, and yet in fact that our God is the Lord and Master over it all. My room was facing the beach on the third floor, and Jeremy tells me that in fact the waves actually swept through the second floor, which is a good (but my estimation is bad) twenty meters above the sea level as i observed it. That's just mind-blowing man...
Well up till now recovery work has been steadily going on, and it appears as though within a year or two things should be back to the way that they were before. The human side of this tragedy did present itself to me, albeit in a truncated manner, during church on Sunday, which Jeremy brought us to. The female pastor was thanking a visiting mission team from NJ for coming and then she broke into tears, clearly deeply thankful for all the help that has poured in from abroad to the devastated Phang Nga area in the wake of the tsunami. That, i thought was part of the essence of being a Christian - to help out those in need, sharing the love of Christ as He once did and still does, be the recipients believers or otherwise, and all to His eternal glory...
Hmm now on to less weighty matters - i remember first tasting Thai-style ice cream during MEET last year, and i was hungry for more... Well, the perfect opportunity afforded itself on the first afternoon there when the ice cream man came by in his motorcycle. The beauty about this is that it's so simple - just Thai coconut/pandan/chocolate ice cream topping glutinous rice, peanuts and jelly - yet oh so delicious... And all that for just 10 Baht =)
I was also somewhat pleased with myself that my less-than-rudimentary command of Thai, almost totally acquired during MEET, did come in quite useful, especially when it came to ordering food (mee nam prik mai?). I always try not to draw too much attention to myself whenever i'm abroad, and speaking even a bit of Thai sure helps along that vein. It helped even more that i look more Thai than i ever did before for obvious reasons (or maybe not so much Thai as Muslim - that's what the immigration officer asked me...) so i could blend in a fair bit...
My (almost) life-long trepidation towards being bitten a leech, which has manifested itself ever since i watched Stand By Me, and which i had somehow escaped through two years of basically being at least knee-deep in water during NS, finally reached a head when we went to explore a local waterfall, which was a fairly long trek in to. By the time we made it back to the car, i had found a total of four leeches on my feet, with one of them (the one above) biting me for good measure. Um but obviously i wasn't too alarmed since i took the time to take a picture of it before it was plucked off. Heh well at least i can cross off getting bitten by a leech from my to-do list =p
So i've barely scratched the surface of what actually went on during this trip, and hence i've barely done it justice... But anyways i'm thankful for this trip for so many reasons - the friends, the sights (that's James Bond Island from The Man with the Golden Gun behind us btw), the food (phet mak mak) etc... And one other thing is that this trip was not of the usual touristy variety, but i got to see the social aspect of things there, for lack of a better term. The post-tsunami setting of the place somehow provided for me the perfect backdrop for a fruitful time spent with God, and i really dunno how to say more about it than that =)...
Well just to clarify, while i did go up to Thailand, i did not step a single foot into Bangkok, a place that despite my more than two months in total spent in Thailand i have yet to really visit apart from Don Muang, and which i'm really in no hurry to visit either cos i'm not really a shopping person (or at least not there) and i'm not a fan of crowds or traffic too. And since those are the three things i immediately associate with Bangkok, there's no real reason for me to go there is there...
I also did not go to Phuket - while my flight did land there, upon landing Clement and i immediately went up to Khao Lak in Phang Nga province, about a 90 minute ride north of Phuket. Now, Khao Lak is far less of a tourist trap than Phuket will (hopefully) ever be, especially so in July, which is smack dab in the middle of the tourist off-season in Khao Lak; this suiting me and my aversion to huge crowds just fine.
Well, as you can see from the above picture, Khao Lak now has some form of a Tsunami evacuation system in place, and for good reason too. It was one of the worst-affected areas of the Thai Andaman coast during the Boxing Day Tsunami of 2004, with tourists and locals alike numbering in the thousands being killed, and is still in the process of recovery from that devastation really. As i was strolling along the beautiful expanse of beach, i came across several simple memorials to those whose lives were lost that day. And there are still several places in the area which have obviously not even been touched since the Tsunami hit - and hence they lie abandoned and overgrown with creepers.
Observe those waves (which look far tamer than they actually were). Now imagine wave upon wave countless times more powerful than those you see relentlessly pounding the coastline and all in its path. Can you? Well i could barely imagine it myself. But basically in considering that, i was reminded of the awesomeness of nature, and yet in fact that our God is the Lord and Master over it all. My room was facing the beach on the third floor, and Jeremy tells me that in fact the waves actually swept through the second floor, which is a good (but my estimation is bad) twenty meters above the sea level as i observed it. That's just mind-blowing man...
Well up till now recovery work has been steadily going on, and it appears as though within a year or two things should be back to the way that they were before. The human side of this tragedy did present itself to me, albeit in a truncated manner, during church on Sunday, which Jeremy brought us to. The female pastor was thanking a visiting mission team from NJ for coming and then she broke into tears, clearly deeply thankful for all the help that has poured in from abroad to the devastated Phang Nga area in the wake of the tsunami. That, i thought was part of the essence of being a Christian - to help out those in need, sharing the love of Christ as He once did and still does, be the recipients believers or otherwise, and all to His eternal glory...
Hmm now on to less weighty matters - i remember first tasting Thai-style ice cream during MEET last year, and i was hungry for more... Well, the perfect opportunity afforded itself on the first afternoon there when the ice cream man came by in his motorcycle. The beauty about this is that it's so simple - just Thai coconut/pandan/chocolate ice cream topping glutinous rice, peanuts and jelly - yet oh so delicious... And all that for just 10 Baht =)I was also somewhat pleased with myself that my less-than-rudimentary command of Thai, almost totally acquired during MEET, did come in quite useful, especially when it came to ordering food (mee nam prik mai?). I always try not to draw too much attention to myself whenever i'm abroad, and speaking even a bit of Thai sure helps along that vein. It helped even more that i look more Thai than i ever did before for obvious reasons (or maybe not so much Thai as Muslim - that's what the immigration officer asked me...) so i could blend in a fair bit...
My (almost) life-long trepidation towards being bitten a leech, which has manifested itself ever since i watched Stand By Me, and which i had somehow escaped through two years of basically being at least knee-deep in water during NS, finally reached a head when we went to explore a local waterfall, which was a fairly long trek in to. By the time we made it back to the car, i had found a total of four leeches on my feet, with one of them (the one above) biting me for good measure. Um but obviously i wasn't too alarmed since i took the time to take a picture of it before it was plucked off. Heh well at least i can cross off getting bitten by a leech from my to-do list =p
So i've barely scratched the surface of what actually went on during this trip, and hence i've barely done it justice... But anyways i'm thankful for this trip for so many reasons - the friends, the sights (that's James Bond Island from The Man with the Golden Gun behind us btw), the food (phet mak mak) etc... And one other thing is that this trip was not of the usual touristy variety, but i got to see the social aspect of things there, for lack of a better term. The post-tsunami setting of the place somehow provided for me the perfect backdrop for a fruitful time spent with God, and i really dunno how to say more about it than that =)...
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