trips

I've almost never been one to do complete any piece of work way beforehand. For me it has always been those proverbial last bursts of fire that do the trick. At the same time, while i'm hardly the type who can't care any less about the quality of work that i produce, i'm also, at least in this regard, far from being a perfectionist. Putting in a reasonable effort which suffices in getting the job done just before it is due is what i'd normally do.

Now that, for the first time, i'm no longer the one that is simply assigned work to do but instead has to not only assign the work to others but also plan and prepare for classes that will help them toward the end of being sufficiently equipped to do that work, as well as mark the returned work promptly, my normal way of doing things as a student can't really hold anymore. Why? Cos now any screw ups on my part no longer only serve to be to my own detriment, but also potentially that of a whole host of others, who regardless of how much (or little) they hold you in regard, or for that matter cooperate with you to begin with, would normally at least trust that you are holding up to your end of the bargain even if they ever should not be doing the same. Already, on a more basic, primal level, i wouldn't be able to deal with the guilt of doing that. And hence all the more so on a higher level as one who is placed in a position to glorify God in whatever manner that may come up, including being as a channel of Christ to others.

It's not been easy thus far, and perhaps i still end up doing things last minute. For starters there hardly seems to be enough time... However, if the aforementioned higher level has yet to kick in, at least the prospect of feeling guilty over what could have been has worked to enough of an extent such that some i have been putting in reasonable effort into whatever i've been doing. I hardly feel like that effort is being appreciated by them (and come to think of it, i still have my doubts as to whether it is worth being appreciated in the first place), but someone has to start somewhere eh...

Random praise point for the day: Finally figured out how to photocopy double-sided using the feeder - it took five weeks (+ close to five years, if you count uni)

I need a holiday...