semi-end

The last papers for my teaching subjects were today. For the record, i'm quite satisfied with what was tested and how it was tested, though inevitably some students still were unable to cope. We'll just have to wait and see how the results turn out. I still feel the same level of worry and stress over how the paper will turn out as i did when i had my first batch of graduating students though. Guess it's part and parcel of what to expect in the years to come.

A few years ago i'd have thought that the end of the final exams and the start of the holidays for the students would mean that things would start to wind down. Am certainly much the wiser now, and perhaps also much more able to tackle the final wave of work before the true holidays start. Nevertheless, it's going to be a long three weeks ahead.

red season

It's full swing into marking season again (the so-called off-season seeming to have gotten shorter and shorter). As of late, in an attempt to do something purposeful apart from school-related stuff, I've been borrowing a book from the library every six weeks or so (or however long the maximum loan period is) and trying to read it during my free moments (which nowadays mainly would be the time spent waiting for and riding in public transport). However, the demise of the aforementioned off-season has put that plan to rest, at least for now, as it's back to marking on the bus or train while valiantly trying to keep my marking hand synchronized with each jerk and turn of the vehicle. Somehow i doubt that's an image that will be making its way to any recruitment ads anytime soon.

Getting itchy?

When the posts here are limited to one a month, appear predictably towards the end of each month, and consist mainly of random cryptic fluff, you know it's been busy days. Or weeks. Actually, make that months.

indulgent

Eating too much?

Not enough exercise?

Just getting older?

Hoping for the least of the three evils =P

bitten

So we're reaching the end of yet another school holiday period, with just days to go before it's back to the reality of work. I was tempted initially to call it a 'holiday', but in all honesty i did get a somewhat decent break, though of course as usual it was hardly long enough. Ideally, i'd have an extended period of time abroad coupled with a similarly extended period of time simply relaxing back at home. Given the limited duration of the holiday though, i'd have to be content with just one of those. And i'll never pass up an opportunity to travel, which means that i yet again missed out on spending enough quality time back here. Even though i'd made a conscious effort to arrive back here with some days to spare before having to get back to work, i ended up spending much of my free time recovering from the effects of the travel (alas, that's just me feeling my age, i suppose).

I do have Friday and the weekend left, though i do need these days to do some work, if i'm planning to meet at least some of my deadlines and not make next week a thoroughly miserable one. It's going to be a challenge though, as i can hardly get into the right frame of mind. We'll see how things will go..

net loss

For sure they did not have this in mind when designing the structure of the school year here, but somehow it seems as though the past 21.5 weeks (two terms of ten weeks + three extra days and one week of March 'holidays') has just about done it for me, such that today i find myself at home essentially wasting time while trying to decide on what to do (there's always stuff to do, but with the marking season over, what exactly i need to do becomes less concrete), not having managed to do anything yet, while in just about every previous Saturday this year i would have found myself stationed in some cafe with a (rather) affordable drink that would hopefully warrant my presence there for hours on end, getting some form of work done (as i find myself far less inefficient - very deliberate choice of words there - than i would at home).

In keeping with the spirit of the aforementioned March 'holidays', next week i'll still find myself in school for every working day, no doubt trying to squeeze out every last ounce of energy and willpower i have to last me through before the actual June holiday. Speaking of the June holiday, i must say that i'm rather apprehensive about it because i've yet to plan anything to do with the trip yet with a week left to go, which is a first, as normally i'd at least have some accommodation and itinerary matters settled after finally finding some time to take my focus away temporarily from work to get some planning done. This time though, the amount and complexity of work up till now and continuing from here, has really been unprecedented, hence my current unintentional 'as the wind takes me' approach. I hope that i'll at least have some chance to recharge during the holiday, lest i end up in a worse state than this when i come back just in time for another hard half-year slog. Don't know how to look at this positively in terms of my ability to last beyond a couple more years..

Productivity Pressures

With the first of May just a couple of hours away, the Labour Day messages have been coming in. I haven't bothered to read any of them, but it's safe to say that one major theme, at least from the messages from any government/government-linked body would be that of productivity, or more specifically, the need to boost it.

Whenever i encounter such calls to increased productivity, inevitably my eyes roll (though granted cynical me rolls my eyes at plenty of things). I do not doubt the validity and urgency of such calls at the national level (in any case, i'm far from qualified to be able to pass any judgement), but at least when i think of my own example, increased productivity just doesn't seem like a viable and sustainable option. I'm very aware of my own failings, which include being highly inefficient and lacking focus when it comes to vital matters such as marking and setting of papers. However, i can't help but feel that i draw upon those wasted moments for energy in order to keep myself going, especially given the sheer number of tasks that there are to complete at any one time, which really take a lot out of me. In other words, if i were, by some miracle of nature, to become extremely focused and productive in my work, i doubt i could even last beyond this year before succumbing to burnout.

Something to think about as i prepare for another day of labour this Labour Day.

catching up

It's been busy, or more accurately, unprecedentedly busy times as of late, so much so that for more than a month i couldn't find the opportunity to go for a run (albeit due in part to the sudden but nonetheless welcome wet weather on successive Saturday mornings, but still due more to the usual suspects - lack of time / tiredness). The last time i managed to run before this break i had managed more than 13km in about 74 min. Well I can't say that i was surprised, but i was still pretty bummed when i couldn't last even for half as long (both distance and time wise) when i finally managed to sneak in a run last week. I then only managed to last mere metres and a minute longer the second time round, which was this morning. If i needed a lesson in the importance of consistency and regularity, this sure is it. The lack of exercise must have also played a part in my gain of around 3kg (though i suppose many would just roll their eyes and say that i need it) over the past few weeks. In any case, now more than ever before, i've been asking myself the question - how much longer can i last?

March Madness 2.0

The week of 16 March is officially the March school holiday period. The key word here is 'officially'. Unofficially, it has been pretty much business as usual, with the most noticeable (but still minor) differences being having the opportunity to dress down and sleep about one hour more than usual.

Now, this is not meant to be a complaint post. After all, in a way i have gotten myself into this situation by requesting to teach the classes i'm teaching, fully expecting that the words 'March (and for that matter, September) holidays' would not eventuate in the way that they would be expected to (by those who don't have any direct contact with the education system here, at least). And pretty much all the stuff that i've been up to this 'holiday' has been meaningful, and not a waste of time (or at least i hope that's the case). Even if it's meant that i think i've not felt so tired or, dare i say, worn out for a long time. I guess i may have felt worse before, but i think that the amount that i've to handle now is more than it was before [experience does build up resilience, or as i'd like to refer to it, staff capacity (capacity to tahan the worst that the job can throw you].

The fact of the matter, or at least in the way i see it, is that there's plenty of meaningful stuff that we do (and inevitably, a fair deal of stuff that at most helps to boost CVs but is really far more of style and substance), but some of us (or at least me) are not able to sustain doing the amount that is expected without some serious sacrifices being made (which in my case, being as utterly inefficient as i am, would be the giving up of a life outside of the holidays). And in such situations, i can't help but question if the result is really worth the effort.

no one else to blame

On the one hand, i constantly lament (to myself) about the seemingly permanent eye bags and how i never seem to get enough sleep on school nights.

On the other hand, many is the time when, like tonight, i'm wasting perfectly good sleep time doing inconsequential stuff (including this i guess) on the computer (not that i've no work to do - there's always work to do, but there's not always the will to do it).

no time for horseplay

It's amazing to see how we're already at the end of January, and so it's already the end of week four of term time. I haven't actually spent a lot of time in school, due to having an ICT as well as falling sick (for the first time since 2010), which probably has contributed to how fast these past few weeks have gone by. Things have been as hectic as they've ever been, though perhaps due to having a bit more experience under my belt i'm less ruffled by it all than i would have been say three years ago. In fact, no less than the big boss commented that i look happier than i did back then.

It still is early days though, and definitely there'll be many more speed bumps along the road ahead. In fact, much of this CNY break will (hopefully) be spent trying to preempt all of these, while at the same time trying to recharge a bit. (Horse) bit by bit.

timely travel

While back home i may be a little bit of a magnet for (minor) incidents, i've realised that i had been unwittingly dodging a couple of far more serious incidents during my most recent trip. It was only after i had safely left the city of Cordoba that i learnt (through picking up on whatever i could from the Spanish-language Argentinian TV report that i happened to catch a brief glimpse of) that there was a police strike there, and in fact only nearing the end of the trip, close to two weeks after having left Cordoba, that i realised that it had turned rather violent, not only in Cordoba itself but in many other parts of the country as well, while i remained blissfully unaware of what was going on. In fact, the strike and riots had begun on the afternoon/evening of Dec 3, while i caught a bus out of the city that same night.

I suppose that you could consider this a benefit of travelling in a country where the lingua franca is by and large alien to you. And of course having to do stuff like arranging transport and accommodation during the precious time that i was able to get online rather than browsing news websites played a role too.

The second incident i just missed were the power cuts in Buenos Aires that have since escalated into protests. The reports state that the power cuts had started affecting residents two weeks ago, which is precisely when i flew out of Buenos Aires. In fact, there was a minor power outage that lasted less than a minute while i was at the airport awaiting to board my plane, though judging by the lack of any hit of surprise on the faces of the airport staff, perhaps that was merely routine. Whatever the case, my timing for both has been spot on, though of course i still feel sad to see such incidents happening in Argentina, which to me really is a country that potentially has so much going for it. NE lesson in the making, this is..

world class

I've been back in S'pore for about ten days now, and in this time i've already encountered two cases of door malfunctions on public transport:

1) an SBS bus door that refused to close, resulting in the bus driver having to get everyone on board to alight and get on the next bus - this took place at the stop at which i had boarded the bus; in other words the bus didn't move an inch (just like the door) once i was on it.

2) the safety door (i.e. not the train door, but the one that prevents passengers from straying onto the track) at City Hall MRT Station refused to close, resulting in the train i was on being stuck at the station for about a couple of minutes, before one of the station staff had to rush down and close the door manually - at first i thought that it was all the safety doors that would not close, but then i realised that it was only the door right where i was standing at.

This all took place after me having a trip in South America that was relatively free of transport woes, apart from one Subte train breaking down at the station in Buenos Aires (or at least that's what i assume happened - i just followed everyone else's cues because the announcements were made solely in Spanish).

Well, if there's a moral to this brief story, it's that yes, Singapore does have a world class public transport system, in the sense that just like everywhere else in the world, breakdowns and malfunctions do occur. (I don't mean this as a criticism by the way - and also by the way i hate the phrase 'world class', but that's another story) And if there's another one, it's that at least in Singapore, my public transport jinx is still very much alive and kicking.

hasta mañana

Just got back from South America (Argentina and Uruguay) a couple of days ago; never having much opportunity to post anything here during that time. Not that there was no internet access - free wifi is rather easily accessible in many places there,  contrary to what many may think, though bearing in mind that Argentina and Uruguay are some of the more developed countries in the continent - but whatever time and opportunity i had online was spent on making trip arrangements, of which there were many. In a perfect world, this blog, which is just about as random and unfocused as a blog can get, would morph into a travel blog, at least whenever i'm on holiday. Instead, i've to make do with writing rather dull and formulaic recounts of my day on my (hardcopy) notebook whenever i've had the opportunity to, just so as not to forget whatever happened, while telling myself that what i've written will soon morph into some credible travel writing on this site. Well, that 'soon' will certainly not be today (i've only just finished uploading pictures from two trips ago), but we can always hope for tomorrow..

too slow to beat age

I'm turning 30 in a few days from now. No point trying to avoid the fact, given that there have been several reminders of that fact coming my way. Firstly i received the never-welcome MINDEF sms reminding me that my new IPPT window would open two weeks from the receipt of the sms (and as expected, they left out the only part of that news that was actually something to cheer about, which is that upon turning 30 i enter CAT Y1 territory, which means it becomes easier to clear the darn thing). Then there was the notification for re-registration of NRIC which came in the mail. I'm proud of the fact that i've never once lost my NRIC, but that of course meant that re-registration upon turning 30 is a non-negotiable.

Actually, the reminder that hits me the most is this: i'm getting slower, and there's not much i can do about it. I run quite a bit. As far as i can get myself to do so, i try for at least once a week, most likely on Saturday, simply because we all should exercise regularly, and for me running hits my two criteria of being (relatively) hassle-free and being something that you don't require anyone else's presence to do [not that i don't want to run with others, but i never can find people to run with me (because i never look for them)]. I've never been particularly fast, but at least i can get a decent 2.4km timing, which is all i could ever ask for.

Since maybe a couple of months ago though, i've found that i've not been able to get the same timings that i used to get over a certain distance. I feel tired more easily, and find i've to channel all my resilience to last even 10km, which has never really been a problem in recent memory. Today's run was but the latest example of that happening. Normally i'd chalk it all up to busyness (my blanket excuse for way too many things), but i don't really have that excuse to fall back on now since lessons have ended, and life at work now is (slightly) easier. So i guess the only reason i can think of now is age. I definitely could get around this by simply running more than just once a week, but that's imply not possible even now, let alone once work gets back to full gear. So i guess my only option left is to (try to) grin and bear it, and embrace the third decade.

Hitting Closer to Home

I've long since given up in trying to understand why even with fatal mass shootings occurring with shocking regularity, the American government is no step closer to passing increased gun control regulations. I guess i just don't have it in me to see the second amendment as something that must be followed to the letter when lives are at stake. It's particularly unsettling when so many of these shootings have taken place in schools, including one this past week. Certainly at the most basic level, the whole concept of a 'safe learning environment' cannot be observed in its entirety in the American classroom.

In any case, i'd always thought that over here, the possibility of a school shooting taking place is so low (one of many things to be thankful for about being in Singapore), so that would at least be one non-issue. More power to some American teachers if they think that arming themselves and getting weapons-handling training is the answer; over here i think we'll stick to the tried-and-tested method of eschewing firearms altogether, thank you very much (After all, there are so many other things that we need to train for; no need to add weapons-handling to the mix).

Then, while still reeling from the news of this most recent shooting, America was hit by another case of fatal school violence, but this time not involving guns. This time, a student has been arrested as the chief suspect in the murder of one of his teachers. As far as i'm concerned, the details of the case ring alarm bells all over, if simply because they could easily apply to any school here as well. The weapon of choice was not a gun, but a readily-available box-cutter. The teacher was ambushed and murdered one afternoon after the bell had rung, in the girls' bathroom in the school. She was described as hardworking and dedicated, and also caring and compassionate (i.e. hardly someone whom you can imagine any student wanting to harm in so brutal a manner). The accused student was described as the "nicest kid on the (soccer) team."

The case is, of course, less than a week old, so it's definitely premature to draw any conclusions as of yet. Furthermore, the last thing we would need would be to overreact, as is so often the case whenever there's any news with potentially wide-ranging implications breaking over here. Nevertheless,  this case provides some much-needed food for thought. The least that should be done would be to be continually vigilant, doing whatever needs to be done to ensure that such an incident would never occur here. We owe it not only to our teachers, but to our students as well, to do so.

back and running

This is the first weekend in a very long while when i've felt rather free, and by extension, somewhat aimless. Reason being that there's no marking to do, since the exams are starting on Monday and everything that i could return to the students has already been returned.

So much so that instead of my recently started tradition of spending Saturday morning parking myself in some cafe before it gets crowded to do some marking, this time i went for a longrun. I've cycled along the road running parallel to the Changi Airport runway several times, but this time i decided to try running its length instead. After doing my research to make sure that it wasn't too long for me to handle, went ahead with my plan, and ended up getting some good exercise. Definitely something to do again (when there's enough time, of course - i only got back home at around 11 - better make good use of this relative lull while it lasts)

Authentic Learning, S'pore Style

This actually took place a couple of weeks ago - i was on the train (somehow many noteworthy anecdotes of mind have something to do with public transport) when a lady, her child in a stroller and her domestic helper boarded the train. Kudos to the employer, for she was teaching her helper English. The example she used was rather intriguing, yet undeniably authentic. She pointed to the digital display in the train which read "This train terminates at Dhoby Ghaut Station", and asked her helper if she understood the meaning of the word "terminate". When the helper responded in the negative, the employer said mentioned something to the effect of it being a synonym of the word "stop". She then went on, "just like if i terminate your contract, it means that i fire you."

I bet the helper will never forget this word.

s'porean sandwich

While it is true that the inverted commas in 'holidays' are there for a reason, the absence of any formal lessons and fixed hours this whole week is most certainly a welcome development, as at the least it does allow for more flexibility than usual, though it certainly doesn't necessarily mean that there's any less work to do.

Thanks to this elusive flexibility, i took the opportunity to have a rare mid-week run (as opposed to usually when i can only muster up the time, energy and resolve to do any meaningful exercise during the weekend). Duty still calls though, so this was a run to school, where i was due to have a consultation with some students. I was supposed to meet some of them at 9am so i left the house before 8am. Given the day of the week and the timing, i was not expecting there to be too many other people about. And true enough, that was the case. Of the fair amount of people who were around exercising though, i couldn't help but notice that at least 60% of them were angmohs. To see angmohs in itself is far from noteworthy, but the fact that there was such a large proportion of them (the majority of which were male) was a surprise to me. "Don't they have to work?" i thought to myself.

Now i trust that the answer to my question is that they just have very enlightened employers who pay far more importance to work-life balance than your typical Singaporean (or for that matter, Asian) boss (or that they are the bosses themselves, of course). It could also very well just be that they prioritise such a balance far more than most Singaporeans (myself included) do or feel obliged to do. But you can't help but wonder what exactly it is that they do. I still don't understand why i can see so many people (expats or otherwise) hanging around the pool or in the balconies of the condo right opposite my school at all hours of the day (i've better things to do than to observe their every move of course - seeing them is merely incidental to when i conduct lessons (and trust me, i am in school at all hours of the day so this is by no means an unqualified statement).

Let me just make clear that this is far from another of those anti-foreigner diatribes that many so-called 'netizens' seem to cough up, but is merely an observation on my part. I've nothing against foreigners (so many a time in Singapore i feel like one myself). It still is intriguing stuff (at least to me) though, that so many of them seem to have it so well over here. On the other end of the spectrum, many others in the non-Singaporean camp seem to have it so badly here too. That's another pressing story for another time though.

'holidays'

Yes, i am more free than i would otherwise be, hence the opportunity to type this ceremonial post. But the degree to which i am more free is token at best, and minuscule at worst, although the lack of any actual classes does have the tendency to put one in quite the mood for slacking, and hence i do feel more free than i probably am. On the plus side though, i actually have done at least some sort of meaningful work for every day since the last day of school of last term. Or is that on the minus side? Bah.